I don't know if this is the official McMurtry thread, but I'm bumping this for my new favorite song of his. Pinocchio In Vegas (unreleased on any album I believe). Two versions, one with good production but censored, and one unedited but on a cellphone. Lyrics are below. So many great fucking lines, including the killer opening. The last line kills me.
Pinocchioâs in Vegas, with his eye on the prize
Heâs a real boy now, his dick grows when he lies
His face stays frozen like itâs still made of wood
It displays no emotion as he cleans âem out good
At that back room table, most any Friday night
He donât even need the money, he just did it out of spite
He misses olâ Geppetto, gone now two years
The boy is spendinâ real money, and heâs cryinâ real tears
Youâd a thought itâd been a straight and simple untaxed estate
It was nearly out of probate when it blew up in his face
There were whispers in the shadows, all around the town
Heretofore unknown relations, olâ Geppetto got around
Who were my grandmotherâs friends?
Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten
Who were the neighbors next door?
When I was still crawlinâ on the floor
When the claims came to light, Pinocchio was blue
The lawyers had a field day, just like they always do
First they tried to fleece âem for a rainbowâs worth of gold
He had to sue Walt Disney over copyright control
He got less than he wanted, more than they would give
Both sides were bitter, both sidesâll live
Who were my grandmotherâs friends?
Used to take me fishinâ every now and then
Who were the neighbors next door?
Who all did we lose in the war?
Snappinâ peas on that front porch step
Come and take them watermelon rinds
Toss âem over the horse-lot fence
Go wash up and quit that cryinâ
Pinocchio is over it, he donât beat up on himself
Heâs had to learn to be an asshole just like everybody else
Where the dogs eat the dogs and the cats eat the mice
You pick a hill to die on, donât bother actinâ nice
Cause that donât serve you well at the end of the day
They donât have to come and take it if you give it all away
Who were my grandmotherâs friends?
Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten
Who were the neighbors next door?
When I was still crawlinâ on the floor
I say who were my grandmotherâs friends?
Used to take me fishinâ every now and then
Who were the neighbors next door?
I canât call you up and ask you anymore