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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by smuggs

  1. Sat in a parking lot uncovered and fully exposed to weather for 7 months. Struck by fucking lightning lol. Holy shit. Over 100 documented equipment issues. My Grandad's old Glastron had tighter safety protocols. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13855727/titan-oceangate-hearing-titanic-submarine-disaster.html
  2. Fucking A.
  3. I live in Lake Charles. We just imploded the CM tower yesterday, that has been vacant and open to the weather since Laura/Delta 4 years ago. Francine can go get fucked.
  4. Ronnie's lawyer commercial was fantastic. Nowicki's impression of him had me rolling.
  5. Imagine being so devoid of morals and testicles that you’re shooting up your 25-year employer with ketamine multiple times per day. Ketamine that you purchased with 55 grand of his money. Everyone in this story is a disgusting vampire, Perry included.
  6. Not anything groundbreaking but I was surprised by the comedic chops of Channing Tatum in 21 Jump Street.
  7. ^^^ You might want to get that checked out. I had to take a 10 day course of Valtrex the last time my penis looked like that.
  8. I also enjoy Don Pardo's participation.
  9. I can't ever listen to Jeopardy and not think of Weird Al. RIP. Big part of the early 80's soundtrack, imo.
  10. Pumpkins - Cherub Rock
  11. The "lifeguard" doesn't have any type of can, tube or other rescue flotation on him, other than a paddleboard. Good luck saving a 200+ pound dude in the midst of the water death throes.
  12. I've always heard that Bryan/College Station is the proverbial Fertile Crescent of subaquatic law.
  13. Loved it. Gonna miss Jackman if this truly is his last one.
  14. AggroCop has two DWI's on his record. 2015 & 2016: https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/local/illinois/illinois-deputy-charged-murder-dui-charges-macoupin-county/63-b1167b53-ef81-4af1-8383-e341359d41b4
  15. Sorry, Cheatle, for the inquisition. I think you don't got it (got it), don't got the strength to carry on, oh yeah. You need to fax over a quick resignation. Now I replace thee, ooh, who will it be?
  16. You're personally having to contact the other driver's insurance company? For any accident that I have ever been in, my provider always handles that.
  17. smuggs

    RIP Chuy's

    I don't know which would have gotten my ass kicked faster - that or singing my fajita order in my best Mustaine-hyena voice.
  18. smuggs

    RIP Chuy's

    I once sat at a booth next to James Hetfield @ Barton Springs. Big dude, didn't get a look at his meal. SAD BUT TRUE!
  19. "Hey Honey - I'm headed to GameStop to pick up that limited edition Torbin action figure for little Billy's birthday gift. You know, Torbin... the Jedi that committed suicide."
  20. "Sure, I may not look like a Sith. But it helps me sneak up on them."
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