I think this is the disconnect. In reality, we are not nearly as divided as we were decades ago. Marriages, friend groups, neighborhoods, schools, workplaces etc. are all much more integrated and cohesive than they used to be. HOWEVER, we now have a well-oiled propaganda machine hellbent on convincing half the country that they have nothing in common with the other. That's why it FEELS like we are so divided, yet most of us don't openly experience that division in our daily lives, at least in the ways our country did in the '60s.
And not to derail the discussion too much, but fuck your both sides on this issue... this is a right-wing problem. The left-leaning news networks focus their attention on individuals (politicians, Elon, etc.) The right-leaning networks focus their attention on "the other side." I'll let you draw the conclusion as to which of these is more conducive to carrying out a mass shooting on strangers.