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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. My wife is definitely not a spider, but I don't think that's accurate, Sam.
  2. Mrs. Doom and I have diametrically opposed opinions on spiders in the house. I view them as welcome tenants who earn their keep (and the right to peacefully exist) by eating all the other bugs, especially the many insect intruders in our basement (house centipedes fucking suck...) My attitude is that if the spiders are getting plump, then business is good, and proof-positive of the benefit they bring to the household. Mrs. Doom doesn't agree with any of that - zero tolerance for any bugs, though she's squeamish enough that she doesn't even kill them - they just become my problem to deal with. So whenever I'm alone and I encounter a spider friend boldly chilling out in plain view, I remind them that if they want to stick around, they need to do a better job at remaining concealed. But they hardly ever listen, the dumb little assholes. I gave multiple reminders throughout the day yesterday, but Mrs. Doom saw two last night, and so I had to escort them both outside because they just wouldn't follow the terms of our agreement. It's like how you go from benevolent and concerned when you first notice another driver without their headlights on, so you flash your brights a few times, and then when they don't get the hint, you instead become irate with them for being such goddamn morons. Maybe those cars are being driven by spiders?
  3. Our household uses the term "bears in the cave" to describe a visible booger, but I like her variation that incorporates booger movement.
  4. Maybe, or maybe it would result in the same noise as when you let air out of a balloon while laterally stretching the opening. Give it a shot and report back. You know, for science.
  5. You've overlooked the very real possibility of a mental handicap.
  6. Some kind of AI uselessness.
  7. He and his buddies spent the afternoon crashing various block parties around the general neighborhood today (none on blocks any of them live on), and Mrs. Doom is mortified by the reasonably likely - but not certain - prospect that they were just marauding around and acting like savages. He insists that they were well-behaved. He and one partner in crime each won a $5 Starbucks gift card for taking 3rd place in a "throw a water balloon back and forth and take one step backwards after each throw" contest.
  8. Nice - I've have my eye on a GSAR for a while now. Prices have doubled in the last month or so (thanks a lot, Obama.) but I would be curious to hear what you think about it after you get used to it. I've got fairly small wrists so I would likely go for the 41mm, or maybe even an outside shot at the 36mm but that seems too small. I would like to try them on before buying, but it doesn't look like there's much in the way of authorized dealers in the Chicago area.
  9. You could almost say that it won the Movie Genre Wars.
  10. Your brain must be smoother than a marble. I hope you've made arrangements for it to be studied by scientists someday.
  11. If I ever open a Nepalese restaurant, it's going to have an ice cream dessert called Frozen Trailside Corpse.
  12. Are there estate attorneys on premises?
  13. Bookmarking this for the eventual "thread-defining posts" thread.
  14. Pink Flamingos
  15. The optical sensors aren't designed for Icepeople.
  16. Counterpoint: we should have just one car thread where we can discuss cars of all types, ages, and conditions.
  17. Count me among those who assumed that Fox News screencap was photoshopped. Circus bread is best bread, I guess.
  18. Doesn't belong in this thread. Drive fast and avoid the police!
  19. The boobs probably cause some confusing tracks when she walks in the sand.
  20. I like the six small googly eyes adorning your glasses.
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