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EE2B

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  1. We bought the Owlet for our second kid and used for about a week. The first time it went off in the middle of the night when the sock came off, we stopped using it. If they have changed the way the sock fits, it might be worth it. Otherwise, it’s going to cause you to have a heart attack the first time it comes off their foot in the middle of the night.
  2. If you would’ve had a spiral staircase, the cat would’ve been safe.
  3. EE2B

    Casket's

    Can you carve dickbutt into the top of it?
  4. She could’ve made some money on our last major construction project. The craft folks were bringing hookers in from Dallas and they were using the project port-a-potties to conduct their business. Apparently it went on a while before the guards caught on. I don’t think most of those guys would cull anything
  5. My ex boss and I always used to joke about being a delivery driver for an auto parts store. I know another guy that worked for one of the railroads who would drive a van and deliver new crews to the train and pickup the crews that had timed out.
  6. So, he stormed out and left a trail of dick shaped suckers in his wake?
  7. Honeywell has one for about $100. Amazon has one that is made by Honeywell for about $75. It works with Ring and Alexa. We have a Honeywell that works pretty well and the App is easy enough for my wife to use so you should be ok. 😂
  8. At 8pm on Halloween night, I turned the front light off and went back to watching the Rangers game. My wife comes through and turns the light back on and says we still have candy to give out. My oldest comes back a few minutes later with her friend. The friend comes in to use the restroom before heading home. Before she leaves I take all the candy we have left and dump it in to a Walmart bag. As my daughter’s friend is walking out the door, I tell her happy Halloween and hand her the bag full of candy. After she gets in her car I turned the light back off. Wife comes back through and asks why the light is back off. I told her that I gave away all the candy as requested. My oldest explained where the candy went. My wife was not impressed, but baseball watching continued uninterrupted.
  9. The last 13 years of Texas Longhorns Football.
  10. Buddy of mine went to do some electrical work for a guy in town. When he got to his house the client had a heavy French accent. He asked the guy what he does for a living and he told him he was a conductor. My buddy responded that he always wanted to drive a train. The client responded that he is the conductor of the local symphony.
  11. Ordered. Maybe now he will use both hands.
  12. We’re at a wedding tonight and I asked my wife what the reception was going to be like. She said “I think it’s just a caricature board”. I asked her if she meant that someone was going to be drawing caricatures. She looked at me funny and said no, that’s what we’re eating. I finally got it. She meant charcuterie board.
  13. I will need pics of your mom and amounts of money she is receiving to determine if I can help her with this unexpected windfall of cash.
  14. You can milk anything with nipples.
  15. It could be worse, your HOA president could be @markstanco. I’ve considered selling because of this, but I would probably have to give it away.
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