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South Austin

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by South Austin

  1. I just planted a coffee tree in my back yard.
  2. Quick, somebody send him a pic of a vagina!
  3. And you don't even need to provide air conditioning or restroom breaks. We are so back, America!
  4. Well, it wouldn't be the first time that having a baby saves a marriage.
  5. This is an actual book, and I bought an old copy of Amazon for a friend as a gag birthday present. Amazon link The reviews are outstanding:
  6. Oh come on, let Lutz have some fun with aggy and get a raise.
  7. Hiring an assistant with no head coaching experience to take over a national champion runner up baseball team and go from preseason No. 1 to unranked and in the SEC basement is a pretty nice work of destruction.
  8. Chuck Schumer still tells knock-knock jokes.
  9. The judges will also accept this:
  10. It's also okay to say cunt.
  11. "But honey, they're offering a 10-year contract of $50 million a year, fully guaranteed with no buy out!"
  12. He looks like a younger photoshopped Nick Nolte.
  13. Fuck these tariffs, tumbling stock market, and child support for that kid in Vegas (she said she was on the pill!), I just paid my $25,000, and am so looking forward to FyreFest!
  14. In all seriousness, I'm probably going to cut going out to eat/ordering in. We cook dinner at home most nights, but a lunch or dinner out here and there or a Favor order on a Friday night when we don't feel like being in the kitchen adds to the monthly nut. I might also have to eliminate a summer trip. I already have two planned. I say this recognizing that while I feel far from wealthy, I'm absolutely privileged, and on the grander scale in the upper percentages. There are so many other individuals and small businesses that are going to feel a lot of unnecessary pain. Forget vacations. They have problems with college funding, payrolls, near-term retirement planning . . . .
  15. I would suggest all of them, but I can't afford that gas money.
  16. No more caviar appetizers on Tuesday evenings, just Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
  17. Anyone want to meet at The Tavern for some shots while we look at our 401k's?
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