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Disco Strangler

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Everything posted by Disco Strangler

  1. Let's start monetizing these sonic gems: Shaped Dressed Man - end credit of Kingsman 5: He/Him/They TV Dinner - Swanson's add scroll on Surlyhorns.com Pearl Necklace - Zales regional ad buy (Houston area) Jesus Just Left Chicago - Illinois Satanic Temple recruiting video Mexican Blackbird - ???
  2. Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild? Since he was a Chief in modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the Winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the Winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming Winter going to be cold?’ ‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold Winter?’ ‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold Winter.’ The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later, the Chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the Winter is going to be very cold?’ ‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest Winters we’ve ever seen.’ ‘How can you be so sure?’ the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'.
  3. Bad form to tag on one’s prior post, but Gym Jordan was the loudest seditionist at the podium today, so I predict this quote is his work.
  4. Unnamed politician’s text to Meadows on Jan. 7: “Yesterday was a terrible day. We tried everything we could in our objection to the six states. I’m sorry nothing worked.” Bets on who this is? Whoever is complaining the loudest about the committee’s work tomorrow is the prime suspect. Betting on Gosar, but hoping it’s Cruz.
  5. Thomas is a self-hating and fairly ignorant asshole. He would reverse Loving if given the chance even though he is married to a white woman.
  6. Is pussy overdose an option?
  7. An alien watching this game from space would thin Schooler is Michael Jordan level dominant. B
  8. Here to make a deposit🤫
  9. Abbot is so concerned about books in schools turning the kids onto gay sex, that he has turned a blind eye to dangers available to the kids from the newspaper.
  10. Question - pretend Gomert runs and actually wins Texas AG and sends Paxton packin' (yes - I should be a political consultant), is Texas better off or worse off than they are now? Pros: Paxton gone, Gomert not going to embarrass Texas in Congress, Gomert probably gets Trump's backing (Paxton loses not only Trump pardon, but also Trump endorsement) Cons: Gomert's seat likely filled with some East Texas dipshit, Gomert continues to file similar ridiculous lawsuits as Paxton did
  11. Did Glamor Shots reopen?
  12. 1, x, 2 alabaster skin, in the days before sunscreen? Renaissance master . . . Of deception.
  13. Those dipshits made me ashamed of my Andy Griffith Show fandom. Imagine an episode where a fat, loudmouth Yankee with an inability to tell the truth about anything comes to town. Barney and Gomer might get duped at the beginning and Don Knotts would work some comedy magic. However, by the end of the episode the entire town of Mayberry would ride that blow-hard asshole out of Mayberry.
  14. I’m surprised by the middle finger reactions to this post (clearly I’m naive - I’m sure this comment will draw similar negatives). With a COVID death toll of 660K+ in the last 18 months, it is surprising to me to see the stadiums as packed as they have been. The games may or may not drive spikes, but I would expect that by the end of the season a bunch of college football fans (more than 1K?) will have contracted a fatal case of the virus from game attendance. Even if I’m wrong, I’m sure that others have taken a similar cautious position. I might take on extra risk in my life to see a Texas/OU game in person, but not to see us play an exposition game against Rice or Kansas.
  15. Will some future generation of Texans find my Truk Nutz offensive? Fuck off, future pussies.
  16. Wish list: (1) Joe Strauss switches parties; (2) Lina Hidalgo; (3) Naked Bongos / Time is a Flat Circle; (4) Ron Niremberg; (5) a Castro; (6) the tree that took Hot Wheels’ legs.
  17. I wonder if there would be precedent for a statute that creates a private cause of action that rewards plaintiffs with $10,000 for a successful suit against against any gun seller (commercial or private sale) that does not fully comply with all gun sale regulations. If a seller succeeds in defending itself, no recovery of attorney fees. Snitch on a bad sale = $10K profit. Some motherfuckers seem to forget a time not too far in the past when this state was ruled by a different political party and assume that the tide will never turn.
  18. Suuuure. And one time, Bruce Springsteen pulled me up on stage to dance with him while he sang Dancing in the Dark.
  19. Reckon Manchin’s boat may have had some seamen on the poop deck?
  20. Rush won’t live that down.
  21. Ashley Babbit, the gal who cut her husband’s penis off while he slept? Ooooh, that Ashley Babbit, the fascist traitor.
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