Jump to content

Chooky

Legacy Members
  • Posts

    6654
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    18

Everything posted by Chooky

  1. What did he do? Was it butt stuff at a truck stop? Did he clog his toilet and then look over his elderly landlord's shoulder and direct her how to position the plunger? Did he get an erection at a funeral? Did he mail a box of turds to a charity? It was butt stuff, wasn't it?
  2. He was far from the biggest issue today. But that doesn't mean he's not a liability right now. He's not seeing the middle of the field very well. Like ever, really. And he misses tons of layups. He's currently a drive killer with the inability to hit easy checkdowns. He can't hit intermediate passes unless he's platformed perfectly. He can't find his feet. There are probably 100 qb's in college right now that might not be as physically imposing as him but would be much more functional in this offense. He flashes an excellent ball 3 or 4 times a game but it's mostly astonishingly terrible otherwise. A dogshit offensive line just makes it worse. The only above average game he's had this year was against a high school team from Huntsville.
  3. You sound like the lawyer who parodies Johnny Cochran on Seinfeld.
  4. I honestly can't fathom how anyone can watch gameday anymore. It's diarrhea mixed with schlock. Just trim that vibrating turd down to Saban, Fowler and Herbstreit. Rece Davis fucking sucks worse than Drakkar Noir boy. Get him the fuck out of there too. Davis is a half-assed gameshow host you'd otherwise see on a shopping channel. This is just truck stop buttfucking with a decorative set and dumb shtick.
  5. I guess it'll be a little embarrassing for EA developers if the guys who did 911 can code a better replication of zone coverage. Need a cutscene of Theo Vonn flying a shirtless Pat McAfee full speed into the mural of Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus. Earn enough off season skill points to acquire a coach ability that let's you cut the hands off of Paul Finebaum with a bone saw.
  6. Alluha Akbar 2027
  7. Good coach. Seriously annoying human.
  8. Bigfoot is blurry.
  9. Deion Sanders and Salvador Dali share the same vision of clocks.
  10. If anyone else got licensing and there was real competition EA would be toast.
  11. The best I can seem to do is stay in cover 1 and mix in stunts here and there and the occasional palms or quarters on 3rd and really long. But zone on standard downs is useless. I like to sometimes user an edge player and they made that entirely useless. You can have a 99 overall edge rusher of any archetype and they'll stick to a 70 overall tackle - literally just get stuck to them. None of the rushing moves work. It's pretty amazing that they haven't addressed it for this long. I glanced at the reddit page and EA's forum to see if it was bothering others and, hoo boy, it is pissing many people off. These developers are either incompetent or they're working with a terrible engine or dated tech.
  12. Since the latest patch, pass defense completely blows. Zone coverage is a mess. They just drift into a place completely unconnected to whatever is happening. They just watch people cross in front of their face while they continue to drift in the other direction.
  13. 987,643,252 "I'm a man" jokes for the rest of the week is gonna be awesome. Hilarious.
  14. "It was madness. Fat guys glistening like salt pork were throwing slow, lumbering haymakers. One guy got punched and he shit out a perfectly intact, unchewed chicken wing and an unopened can of Monster Energy. The entire area smelled of warm milk and a jar of pennies. Denim shorts were flying everywhere. Bon Jovi."
  15. Fat Cincinnati fans in jerseys fighting each other with a Bon Jovi song playing in the background. Riveting. There needs to be an NFL game played on the deck of a discount cruise where Waffle House is the primary vendor.
  16. Stroh is a stumbling lummox. A walking net negative on the line in every way. Oddly, the staff seems entirely committed to his detrimental presence. He played every snap. I find it really difficult to believe there's anyone on that unit that's worse than him. If so, an even greater indictment on Flood's unfolding buffoonery.
  17. Sark has always acknowledged the obvious things that everyone sees in his press conferences. This year he's trying to "win" the press conference like some weak ass Mack Brown bullshit.
  18. That's not all you need, my little amigo.
  19. Closeted Baylor ghouls.
  20. Poor guy lives every moment constipated and sunburnt.
  21. Ironically, Texas was a 10 pt favorite when UCLA won 66 - 3.
  22. It's meaningfully applicable both ways, really, but I've never been certain about the correct usage. A little column A, a little column B.
  23. Damn. This is painfully perfect.
×
×
  • Create New...