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Not that Bob

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Not that Bob

  1. Word to the wise: If you bend over to tie your shoes, do a Kegel. If you otherwise bend, stoop, kneel, crouch, crawl, do a Kegel. If you sneeze do a Kegel. If you cough hard, do a Kegel. If you puke it's probably too late, cover up your wet pants. If you pick up a heavy bag of groceries, do a Kegel. I didn't find that photo of Bo Pelini particularly funny. If you wear light colored pants, wear a panty liner. Yes, I said it. Never pass up a toilet. If you think you need to piss, it's probably too late...never pass up a toilet. If you're getting on a plane, "dry out", no liquids before the flight. Airplane bathrooms are nasty. Get to know the rest stops on the highway...never pass up a toilet. This is all a huge pain in the ass, but my psa has been zero for the 10 years after surgery. There's more, but I need to go take a piss.
  2. Quote I heard some years ago regarding bladder control, "A dead man has no use for a dry pair of Levis."
  3. Yeah, it's probably a bitch to keep in tune, if it ever gets there. Still looks like nice work.
  4. I don't know who's best. I love all of 'em. But. This. This is from a composer. This makes me cry. Every time.
  5. Please give me suggestions on how to sell 6 60's and 70's era VW's. One would likely drive home with battery and maybe tires replaced. 3 would need battery, tires and some interior (the seats are removed but available). 2 are essentially parts cars. They are parked on some land I inherited.
  6. When I try to fast, my stomach says "What am I going to do with all this acid that I used to use for digesting stuff? Oh yeah, I'll just send it to your esophagus."
  7. Those Russian vessels look like Elon's pick up.
  8. Seems like the law of averages would even it out, but no. Every. Fucking. Pothole. Dead solid perfect. I don't even say anything anymore. Why dissuade a person at the top of their game?
  9. I gotta admit, I clicked for the bewbs. Glad I did. Don't miss the drum solo.
  10. Speaking of Cotton Bowl...
  11. The Eyes of Texas played by The Longhorn Band. March Grandioso played by The Longhorn Band. Texas Fight played by The Longhorn Band. March of The Longhorns played by The Longhorn Band. Victory March played by The Longhorn Band. Wabash Cannonball played by The Longhorn Band, included because DKR. UT Cadence played at Alumni Band tempo. That's it. That's all you need.
  12. I think the designers code of ethics is "Form over function at all costs!" I called our last "designer" house a "Show Boat"...all show, no go. Some of the most impractical stuff you can imagine. Impractical. Delicate. Useless. I have to check myself to keep from shouting "How in the fuck did you think *that* was a good idea!!!??"
  13. I can only postulate that Latin stuck with me, although misspelled, because that I studied with my girlfriend. I suppose I did what I could to impress her hoping for a handy on the weekend. I also remember quid ficit muse which I think means "What'd the mouse do."
  14. I had to have 12 hrs of French to graduate. Through some miracle I passed 9 and only had to pass the last 3 the first half of my senior year. I took it with a friend who was much more language savvy than I. I did homework with him every night and essentially just wrote down the same thing he did. Not exactly copying, I tried to add what I could...who am I kidding? I copied all his work. He and I went to the prof to get our final grades. He made a B or something. Prof looks at me and says, "You made a C-. I hope you are not too disappointed." "Disappointed"? I say. "Ma'am (she was a cute female prof), I am ecstatic!" The part of my brain that learns language is dead. Same part of my brain that learns to read music. Dead. You guys speaking several languages amaze me. You might as well tell me to flap my arms and fly to Dallas as tell me to conjugate a verb...in any language. Well, maybe amo, amas, amat. Amare, amawe, amatus. Is that right?
  15. I that a dog on the sidewalk taking a shit?
  16. I got up this morning and couldn't wait to put on O Isis und Osiris sung by Ezio Pinza, the 1929 recording. It has become a bit of an ear worm, in a good way. I would never, in a million years, have known about this piece of music without John Aielli introducing me to it. So much of the music I listen to I found via his morning program. I'm pondering the huge influence this man, whom I never met, had on my life. My life and the lives of friends and family that I shared the music with. I remember with fondness the look on the face of a casual friend as he and I listened to this piece of music. A look of intense joy, appreciation and happiness while being introduced to this song. A look that said he "got it", just as I "got it" when John Aielli introduced me to it. Something to be grateful for.
  17. Stuck valve or broken timer. I love/hate water softeners.
  18. I have Jandy pumps. Don't remember number, but top of the line, variable speed, etc. Guy who put it in says don't worry if line gets plugged up because Jandy has a thermal cut off so they don't overheat and destroy themselves. Had a problem, pump got very hot and repair man says no, Jandy's do not have heat protection. Who is right?
  19. I know that you know you need to work with your physician on fluid and electrolytes. In addition, consider getting a badass cane for stability. Maybe a Bat Masterson with sterling silver head, or gold if you really want to strut. I always thought a shillelagh would be cool.
  20. Dude, treat yourself. Life is short.
  21. Sometimes I say, "You do know I can't hear that voice in your head, right?" I only say that sometimes because the tone stare sort of ruins the day for me.
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