Ideally, rumors of his death will start circulating during the game today as we lay a humiliating beating on Ohio St with JD Vance in attendance. They'll keep showing JD in his booth as he seemingly panics, maybe about the game, maybe about Dotard dying like a dog. The play by play guy keeps trying to address the rumors of fatso's death but it keeps getting interrupted by another Longhorn touchdown, Castellanos style. "Whether or not the rumors are true, even in these divisive times...oh, and here's Arch again, stiff arm!! Touchdown Texas!!" "At a time like this, it's important to put sports into perspective...oh, ball is tipped!! Up for grabs!! Anthony Hill has got it and is going to take it the other way for 6!!" Color commentator Dusty Dvorcek: "Brad, this is without a doubt the most lopsided beating I've ever witnessed! anyway, our thoughts and prayers to the president, of course."