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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. Now they'll never reach Rock Ridge!
  2. Preach, brother! My younger brother and I would spend a few weeks every summer with my Grandma on her farm near Center. Every night we had to stand naked inspection for the little bastards. I hated Grandma's damn tweezers just because of the associated discomfort.
  3. I'm sorry that you have lost such a great friend, Nate. I hope that you find some closure soon.
  4. I don't blame them.
  5. Reading their bullshit about "only one run" losses makes me wonder: do they think that a one run loss is a 51% loss, and a 49% win? That seems to be how they view it. Idoits.
  6. Piss hell. I want to dump a 10 yard load of feed lot scrapings on it. You know, to match the contents of the casket.
  7. Where do you attach the bayonet?
  8. That would not be the best experience I've ever had at a gun range. Period.
  9. Fuck Russia, fuck Putin, and fuck this entire administration. May they burn in hell.
  10. Damn, somebody stole her bribe, I mean walking around money.
  11. I don't think that it would happen, but the possibility exists. So I always just pull for every UT team to win the last game of the entire season, including playoffs/tournaments.
  12. That climb will weed out the weak and frail. I am weak and frail. Aw HELL no!
  13. Liver and onions or kidney. Haven't had either since becoming an adult. I would rather eat a wish sandwich than either of those.
  14. Winning the last college baseball game of the year. But I knew what you meant.
  15. They are butt stuff. Well, stuff that comes out of a butt.
  16. Time for Texas to put a stop to that shit.
  17. Don't try that with an old veteran. They have more plain meanness than you think.
  18. Guy on third scores on the walk, guy on second steals home while guy on first steals third, pitcher's throw goes wide so guy on first takes home and guy who walked takes second.
  19. That's a blue heron. They're like raccoons; they'll eat anything they can catch.
  20. He didn't start the war, you orange buttplug!
  21. I was 16 and teaching swimming and boys sports in my hometown's summer activities program. One day one of my favorite swimming students was upset and not really participating in the class like he usually did. After class I asked him what was wrong and he confided in me that his mom had caught him taking money from her purse that morning and he was still smarting from the punishment. The next day I thoughtlessly needled him about it, including using the word thief. In front of the class. I knew that I had fucked up when he got pissed at me and stormed off, but not how badly. The next day his mom came up to me before the class began and told me that he wouldn't be back. She asked me if I realized that her son looked up to me and thought that I hung the moon until I said that, and that it hurt him so badly that he wanted to quit swimming lessons entirely. She then told me that he was in the car, if I wanted to apologize to him. I have rarely felt so low, nor given a more sincere and heartfelt apology. He didn't accept it, and I don't blame him. He did swap over to another swimming class and finished the summer program, so I'm happy for that. But I don't think that he ever forgave me. I know that I haven't.
  22. Almost sounds like every accusation is a confession.
  23. This is the kind of shit that gets people hurt.
  24. Not surprised at all to see Severn Trent there.
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