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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. I was selling Grit newspaper from the basket of my bicycle. I would sub-contract a couple of my friends to sell my extras for part of the profit. Then a couple weeks later, they started getting their own papers from the company, as if they were my equals or some shit. I shouda ridden up alongside them and jabbed a stick through the spokes, let em enjoy some Ben Hur chariot race action. Instead, I held it IN, maaaan. Embezzled my Grit sales and ignored the shame-letters, or tried to. $16.10 is burned on my soul. I'd give anything to go back in time, with extra papers, hit all their houses early. If they had a problem? I'm a big giant man now, and they'd still be little kids. Bring it.
  2. Tumor shrinking does not suck.
  3. I heard that we sent our best troops up into Belgium while failing to guard the Ardennes.
  4. Bein a nasty bastid is a job, not a hobby.
  5. Today was the longest brain MRI I've laid through yet, but all I've got is a speck in a different spot that showed up months ago. Still much smaller than the one I had zapped last year. Doc said we could watch it or zap it, my choice. I said let's just watch it for now, let it think it has a future, wait until we see the whites of its eyes.
  6. They're expressing their feelings or some shit.
  7. I heard he calls the lab tech "mama" who decanted him in the lab.
  8. Good scans. Main tumor went from 1.9cm across to 1.1. Translating that into a 3D spherical shape, it's lost 4/5 of its mass over 6 months. Coach has me on a stout dose of Welireg but she says I'm bearing up well and as you can see, it works. Worst side effect of it is low oxygen levels, and I did drop a few points for a while, but today I hit 100% and I am one arrogant ruddy little bastid with a punchable face.
  9. I don't, but Mrs. Canecutter had me install this flexible shower head that lets you reach anywhere from any angle, and on the narrowest setting it's like having Aquaman ram a bottle brush up your ass. Welp, off to take a shower.
  10. No bidet?
  11. There are a fair amount of galleries and shows, I just never thought of it as higher per capita than anywhere else.
  12. Kicking myself that I didn't do Atlanta art shows before this past weekend. These are MY PEOPLE and they cleaned me out of several categories, most notably the largest paintings. Even after entry fees and hotel, the profit equalled three good shows. My artist's name tag has a dozen shows the Atlanta group runs listed on the back. When I fully recover I am going to apply for all of them for the coming year, just build the schedule around them, fill in with Birmingham or what have you. Maybe get something going in Nashville. I was surprised that people would hear I was from Birmingham and nod "Oh yeah, that's a good art town." Did not see that coming. Gotta go paint some stuff.
  13. What kind you need? I'm bored and in the mood to wander forsaken back streets in 19th century garb while feverishly clutching butcher's tools.
  14. I stopped listening to French bands like this because they act like they know more than us.
  15. That's a rookie mistake. The names for the band and the EP sound that same, sure, but the EP is spelled Klotted with a K and them umlaut dots that I can't do cuz I failed German but aparently I accedentaly do other shit.
  16. Aw man, hate to tell you, but they had creative difference over whether between bands professional cleaners should mop up the blood-soaked areas in front of the stage, or just leave it to dry, or, and this was my favorite, throw mops into the mosh pit and whatever happens, happens, maaannn. But EBID is all corporate now and thinks they puke up green M&Ms. Heard they switched to Necrotic Beauty Mark as their opener, with that zombie trance drone they do. Yeah that'll be lively, not
  17. Well, I dunno how profitable the past few months of shows have been, but if this art thing flops it looks like my back-up gig could be to show up and make it rain. I mean Godzilla-tryin-to-get-on-Noah's-Ark rain. Shows that are "rain or shine, no refund" actually offering refunds type rain. But this coming weekend seems decent. Setting up in Piedmont Park, Atlanta if any o y'all wanna swing by and sing Thieves Thieves Tramps and Thieves.
  18. Clotted blood piss is how I ended up on this thread. You stay hydrated and dilute those hemo-clumps, boss.
  19. New band name. It's the little things that matter.
  20. Dermatologist says I got about 9,000 moles and freckles, and ain't one of em malignant. Which, considering my 1960s leather-brown, drink-from-the-hose, walk-barefoot-through-stickers childhood is kinda miraculous. The skin flap had already half dried up and fallen off, they nuked the remnant, I mean, hit it with liquid nitrogen.
  21. Yeah, some kind of Honda creeper van would be ideal. [audible bass getting louder as RD turns into your neighborhood]
  22. I googelt him and his biological dad is ethnic Japanese who ditched the family or otherwise caused bad blood, so now his enraged offspring must hunt down the foreigns. Almost more simplistic than Superman's origin story.
  23. It's the Tuberville Principle: No matter how big a POS you think Tuberville is, Tuberville is a bigger POS than that.
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