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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. Hey, you’re playing at Auburn in 2029! What more could you ask for? Hillbillies, Ho’s, No-neck Monstahs, Lies and Lyahs! Possum Hair Stadium, in which actual live possums scurry before kickoff and our national bird is abused and held in shameful captivity.
  2. Oy! USC v Texas @ Wembley would be interesting, you lot.
  3. Tech trivia from back in the day. My roommate at Rice in 1969-1971 was from West Texas and a big TT fan. He hated Arkansas because, he said, Hog fans always threw shit at the Masked Rider who (in those days) rode around with guns out in VISITING OPPONENTS’ stadiums. He said Tech discontinued the provocative tradition when the Rider was knocked off his horse after being hit in the head by a well-aimed whiskey bottle in Fayetteville. Is that true, Clark?
  4. UGA will OPI your DBd every pass play until the refs call it at least twice in a row. Those bitches make a living off of pushing the envelope.
  5. Caption: SAP: Shitty Ass President
  6. Here’s my dream of the last 5 game clock minutes of Texas v UGA. Hard fought for 55 minutes, several lead changes. Horns leading 21-17. The barking fan mass waiting and drooling for their ā€œinevitableā€ comeback victory. Only this time BOOM! the door slams shut and old UGA the myth cries and pisses the comeback away with picks, fumbles and false starts. Final score is Texas 34 - Georgia 17. My guys choke to OU. Texas and Ole Miss play for the SEC crown.
  7. They cannot suffer enough. Fuck them and the eagle/tiger/plainsmen they rode in on. They’ll probably want Malzahn back. No one cares.
  8. Just keep on cranking out that top tier D, sending the meditation girls to Arch’s room, whip Georgia and your enhanced juju will disturb the Aggies through and beyond the game in Austin, to be dominated by the Horns. We will probably step on our dicks and choke the OU game, throwing us out of the top 4 and SECCG. Hell, maybe the networks and moneychangers can set up Texas v Bama in Tuscaloosa, or Austin. Who gives a shit? Let’s do this. Bryant and DKR will be watching from above.
  9. Bravissimo. Best image in this thread. There is still hope for humankind.
  10. I’m no PI litigator but even though Cam acted like a dumbass that causation chain seems pretty tenuous. Guess Katergaris’s lawyers thought our guy is injured and fucked up + Cam’s NFL $$ = nice quick settlement. The wheels of justice turn slowly, if at all.
  11. I agree. Stowers destroyed us last year in Nashville. Milroe throwing a pick six on literally the first offensive snap didn’t help. Pavia did a James Street 1969 vs Arkansas impression late on a 4th and 1, play action fake and rainbow shot to Stowers for a teal dagger TD, then Pavia ran out the clock driving on us. If Vandy gets you bent over a barrel with possession late, just shut your eyes and think of better days under DKR. Maybe the Texas D will shake some turnovers loose. Pavia turned it over 2x in the red zone in Tuscaloosa a few weeks ago.
  12. Strongly recommend Texas double Vandy #9, Pavia’s bud from NM, good hands and strong, big, fast, mucho YAC. He will be targeted often.
  13. I’m curious. What are all of you pontificating, classist, Trumpkin sounding brahmins going to say and do when the Mississippi State Cow College located in the prolapsed anus of the hopelessly backward, uneducated and boring SEC actually does what so many of you have been predicting all week and hangs another L on the Texas Longhorns? I love Surly as a messsge board but Kee-rist, the clench-mouthed arrogance is worse than Thurston and Lovey. I only wish Mike Leach was still coaching there. I have attended Rice, MSU, Alabama and NYU. I don’t much like cowbells but I don’t condemn anyone for where they live or the school they attend (except Auburn, but fuck them).
  14. In October 2025, midweek pregame Surlies are nervous and grouchy. A couple of wins, and it’s Playoff Time! We love our Sark! Leave him be!
  15. I’ve been a fan of IU football since reading an SI article in 1967 about how then-coach John Pont gave his punter cart blanche to fake any punt he wanted to. I think that was the year they went to the Rose Bowl.
  16. Cig could always play stunt double for
  17. At the press conference when he took the head coaching job at Lousville, Howard Schnellenberger infamously prognosticated, ā€œThe University of Louisville is on a collision course with the National Championship. The only variable is time.ā€ That is the operative variable as to when your work will be rewarded.
  18. He called our UGA game last year and he and his shitty crew called it UGA’s way for 98% of the night. But for some incredible circus catch&runs by Ryan Williams, we lose that one.
  19. We (Bama / Tenn) had a relatively decent crew last night. They did, however, continue the decades-long practice of disregarding Tennessee’s cheap shots after the whistle and piling onto ball carriers and receivers already down by contact / on the ground or out of bounds. Aguilera tried to ease by the marker on a third and long. Several Bama d men clocked him on the neck as he went down and he wasn’t the same after. I would not want to play them on a neutral field. #14 caught everything Aguilera threw near him. Pray you get this crew in Athens, not the one with ā€œGomer Pyleā€ Broussard or Bouchard, Boudreaux or whatever his Yat name is.
  20. If you came of age in the 1960s and followed the NBA you owe it to yourself to see Bill Russell: Legend. Don’t expect high def but the content is highest quality. That man was a great human being and one helluva leader and defender of the basket.
  21. Anything promoting Prevagen is a fucking lie. My wife’s aunt was an extraordinary woman, loved life and kept fit well into her eighties by being in constant motion and helping others. When she was in her sixties, hee husband and provider died of postoperative staph infection following bypass surgery. She literally had nothing to live on but SS and moved into smaller and smaller govt subsidized housing as time went by. She began to have memory issues and after watching a single Prevagen ad, made the mistake of taking some. That poor lady began to hallucinate, imagining ā€œcreaturesā€ were peeking at her and crawling out of the TV into her den. One night, she fell and broke her hip trying to escape the creatures. It was all downhill from that point. She flushed the Prevagen but saw hallucinations for the remainder of her troubled life. Prevagen = Death. Fuck those assholes.
  22. If you want some depth and variety, check out SCTV’s library of archival episodes. His character Johnny LaRue was truly and grandly needy and yearning for fame. Dr. Tongue, Yosh Schmenge, Dr Wainwright, the Unctuous William B, the Weedhopping Pippi Longsocks, Orson Welles, Billy Sol Hurok, a wonderful cast of distinct characters! I’m forgetting a hundred.
  23. I never intended to practice law for an occupation but in 1981 I was faced with a decision: go to law school or dig ditches for a living. I said to my dear bride, Mrs. Llama, ā€œBut there’s a lawyer on every street corner and we’ve never known a good one.ā€ She said, ā€œLaw school is three years. Med school is six years, and a lot longer before you’re earning any significant money. Tell me, big guy, if you don’t ho to law school, where will we be three years from now?ā€ I went. I discovered that if I pronounced my clients’ names correctly, showed up on time for appointments, and was honest, I would never hurt for clients I don’t think of myself as a lawyer but I do practice law as an occupation. I’ve never scammed anyone but I have bern scammed by vendors of equipment, supplies, and phone/internet/email services.
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