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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. Shake 'em up, U Kats! Best Kentucky team since the logo had a penis for a tongue.
  2. I saw a werewolf driving a convertible down the Santa Monica Freeway It was a blood-red Coupe deVille --from some live album the guy was a tragic soul, but jaysus, could he write, sing and play Jerry Lee Lewis meets Bob Dylan and Eric Burdon
  3. Hell at the Breech by Tom Franklin Historical fiction about class warfare in 1890s Clarke County, Alabama. Crazy shit really happened but the read is outstanding, like well aged whiskey. A first novel but an outstanding one. Also, anything by Nelson DeMille or John LeCarre.
  4. Big Pharma's creating illnesses by citing the dozens of symptoms their nasty meds _may_ cause. Thank God for the DVR. And who dreams up these bizarre med names: "Xyloco (frickzetafellatio)"
  5. 1. All of "the" sudden One hears it ever' damn fuckin' day. It ain't no suchuvva phrase. 2. Radio or TV ads announcing a special sale but the spokesidiot, usually female and likely the sponsor's trophy wife, squeeze or spoiled daughter, pronouces it "sell," as in "Be sure to come by Ziggy's 30% off sell!"
  6. 9/12/20 is game night for Horns/LSU. If you want a religious experience, get there early and soak up some good times, boudin and alkyhol. It'll be hot in Baton Rouge, so get a fresh drink and head to Colonial Drive next to the stadium about an hour before kickoff. Ask a friendly voodoo priest to show you the exact spot where the golden girls stop marching (he'll know). All right now, here it is. Watch the face of the golden girl on the end. A perfect little bead of sweat will ease down her forehead and then slliiiide down her nose, falling down, down, down into her not-so-demure cleavage. The band will play "Pregame," and the multitude will roar. But you will have had the best spot because of this, my gift to Surly football fandom. Then, then you can go in and watch the game. And a word to the wise, Clark. After the game, win or lose, don' you give no lip to no LSU fans, you; else de loup garou be e'en some Texas guts, him, come midnight.
  7. Tuesday morning coffee with my first look at SC / Horns at DKR. Eerthang's looking _good_, Surlies. And only 78 degrees. Viewing what I hope is a watershed moment. Horns belong in the upper echelon if you can shake off the gremlins. Announcers seem a little too delighted when SC scores on opening drive. Schwarzenegger arms ref! Stadium and crowd are grandiloquent. If I'm alive I must find a way to Bama / Horns in '22, and alla y'all come to my house in '23. Hey, the burnt band sounding fine, and chaps girls are very, ah, chappy. Peace.
  8. What just happened? The old "off the side of his foot" ploy, Inspector Clouseau?
  9. And student managers with towels. GP is a fine coach but watching him pace and jitter and sweat all over the sideline kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies. Who would have ever believed Francione's replacement would still be there what, 18 years later?
  10. My thoughts, exactly; or, why not have a big boy physical, including a heart cath, _before_ competing in triathlons in frigid water? Hate it for the kid, but as the guy next to me on the loading dock said in 1971, "Man, tomorrow ain't promised to NOBODY."
  11. I would willingly do a week of latrine box duty for my wife's legion of cats if TV at tOSU/TCU discovers Urbs on the mezzanine at Jerry World, scanning the field, wearing a Groucho disguise w/an earpiece, urgently whispering into his cuff. Great band, though, Buckeyes.
  12. Another of these was Paul Bryant. Even though he never had a win vs the Longhorns (DKR), he could coach like hell. Still he paid dues at Vandy, Maryland, Kentucky and A&M over what, 17 or 18 years before going to coach Alabama in 1958. I did get an uneasy feeling seeing the Tom Herman Kissing Booth Pregame Queue when he was at Cougar High. Is he still doing that?
  13. Merchandising and marketing and licensing revenue! Team colors "evolve" because someone convinces a focus group of nitwits that blood orange, for example, looks more attractive than tangerine. Example: Auburn's "e'erbody wear they arnge Sairdy" home games. The shade of orange has changed two or three times since Ralph "Shug" Jordan coached there, from pumpkin to burnt orange to tangerine to darn near vermilion. Alabama's product licensing agreements provide a special ink color number for images and imprinted materials. The color number has changed over time so little Johnny can ask Dad to buy "this year's" crimson jersey. All of the above a more subtle, sinister ploy than Oregonism.
  14. Shorpy now in Favorites. Much obliged, NYC! 8" negatives - there you go - I am a photomoron.
  15. Bama Llama

    Apathy

    Celebrity Coach of the Week - Texas Fight! It's the hot new series now streaming on Vice. Watch as Tom Herman, muzzled and bound in a Hannibel Lecter straight jacket and tied to a dolly, is forced to watch as Matthew McConaughey, Owen Wilson, Neal deGrasse Tyson, a plaster mannequin in a Horns uniform, Janis Joplin's ashes and a chicken pecking a cell phone keyboard lead the horns to victory, playing better than they did vs Maryland or Tulsa. In 1984, my good friend Andy, between long drags on his Winston, said "I druther have Bear's bones in box sittin' out there on the sideline than that damned Perkins."
  16. He played winning football yesterday, showing pluck and grit. We are one Tua scramble and ACL away from needing him in a big way; Mac Jones, too. I'm more concerned about the D, but I ain't crying.
  17. I've been lawyering since 1985, drafting and revising a never ending stream of documents. I used WP as long as I could. Only interested in efficient, SIMPLE, basic word processing. I was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the hell that is Word because some, then most then fucking ALL of the non-pdf docs I received via email were in Word as was the email itself. WP worked just fine for me, TYVM. And so what if the dude is 100? Good for him for giving a shit. Sure Trump and Friends are dangerous opinionated assholes. But I really REALLY hated the way Word ruined my simple Wordperfect docs. I'm over it now, but want us to have open minds. Just because my hands are incapable of any motion that will result in a vote for a Republican candidate for national office has nothing to do with it. By the way Donald, when exactly was America last great? 1865? 1959? 1991? 1975? Why not just drop the "Again" and do something truly great? Okay, enough.
  18. PBS reran the Ken Burns biomentary "Mark Twain" earlier this week. I'm about 75% along and so far have savored and enjoyed it more than the first time around. Keith David's narration is right on the money, and the images draw you right into the pre- and postwar era. One thing jumps out. The clarity and quality of nineteenth century still photos. Samuel Clemens comes off as somewhat full of himself but he was entitled, right? We sure could use a voice like his today.
  19. Jalen will be just fine. He is tough and his feet are unhappy. His mind is serene. He's the only college or pro football player or coach I have ever heard use work "stoic" in an interview (postgame 2016 SECCG). I am not, however, familiar with all Mike Leach interviews.
  20. The former M Creosote here, pleased to discover, after so many months of mourning its demise that Shaggdom yet lives. If I can cipher out the combination on how to get my old name back I'll shed this temporary sobriquet. I was at the double watershed 2009 UT/Bama game and I'll tell you one thing Mack or the Horns' special teams coach did well. Bama had the national punt return leader, Javier Arenas, a points maker extraordinare, a field flipper. On that night, fateful in so many other ways, ole Mack took Bama's return game "right off" like Ned Beatty's painties. Arenas needed like only nine or eleven return yards to set some kind of record. He did not get them, much less flip a field or take one back for a score. Every kickoff was a sky kick, the first of which Bama booted, and every punt but a couple was long and out of bounds. I've been watching Bama since 1956 and that was the most effective defensive kicking I've seen. The Horns now remind me of Tuscaloosa before Saban. Great fans yearning for a return to what was once called glory. All we wanted was to sniff it again. It clicked about halfway through his second year. I hope it clicks for Texas this year as well. Looking forward to an epic home and home.
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