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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. At Clemson, former Bama player and Arkansas native Danny Ford famously caused the cancellation of his own coach’s show because he literally was unable to speak more than a few words without saying goddam, shit, piss, fuck, or some variation thereof. He did corch them to a national title. This was in an SI article so I have to assume it’s true. In a related SI college football preseason issue story (1988 maybe) Bill Curry, Ford and a number of coaches were asked to list what they did over the summer. Curry cited several NYT bestsellers and biographies, historical novels and such. Ford’s segment: “I did a lot of fishin’ and I tended to the livestock and repaired some fence. I ain’t read no books.” Not sure Danny ever graduated from my favorite university or any university but he was an outstanding ball player, a good coach and unflinchingly honest, which was kind of refreshing. I would like to see an unedited tape of one of his unbroadcast coach’s shows. “Well, here’s that fuckin’ Bo Jackson making another gotdamn touchdown! Shit fire!”
  2. I stand corrected on name of OSU monster QB. Foster didn’t draw the flag. His tackle was hard but textbook and in the open field. It was the numbnuts reserve db playing on kickoff coverage team who did the taunting and changed the entire trajectory of the game. Don’t taunt a downed buckeye. Must’ve been a Big 12 crew.
  3. (Been trying to reformat to single line but can’t make it work - sorry) I hope the Horns beat the ever loving shit out of Ohio State, then best them for shitting. Our games with OSU remind me of our games with Texas, being a one sided series for the most part. We are 4-1 vs the nuts over the years. Would’ve been 5-0 but for one knucklehead losing his cool on one play and causing us to lose momentum. I knew immediately it was costing us the game. It was the 2014 BCS semifinal. We had OSU in the Sugar Bowl and were having our way, leading 20-6 and scoring right before halftime. On the ensuing kickoff, our LB Reuben Foster, who also played on the kickoff cover team, absolutely blasted their return guy on the 10 yard line. He should never have returned that kickoff. Foster hit him like a sledge hammer guided missle at full speed. The buckeye was laid out flat on his back and not moving. I was actually concerned about him. Then, lonng after the play, a la Smokey in Friday standing over Deebo yelling “You got knocked de fuck out!”, a Bama special teams guy, a squirrely reserve DB, strutted up and made the “safe” signal like a stolen base, and skipped off to the bench. Here comes the yellow flag for taunting. Their LOS is now the 25. The Dome is now silent. Here comes that monster QB Carnell Tate suddenly playing like a world beater. Here comes that great OSU RB who was drafted by the Cowboys, running for a touchdown. Instead of being on the 10, trailing 20-6 and Bama fans going apeshit, they started on the 25. Halftime score was 20-13 and they had all the momentum, and never looked back. To this day I despise that dumbass. He didn’t even make the fucking tackle. 1978 Sugar Bowl: No. 3 Alabama 35, No. 9 OSU 6 1986 Kickoff Classic: No. 5 Alabama 16, No. 9 Ohio State 10 That game was at Giants Stadium. Derrick Thomas was a young linebacker for Bama. In the last desperate minutes, OSU, trailing 16-10, kept lobbing the ball to Cris Carter, hoping for miracles. Fucking Thomas got called three times for interference, keeping their drive alive. Finally, their last pass (to Carter) fell incomplete in the end zone and it was over. All the way back into the city on the bus, this asshole on the bus kept yammering about the greatness of Ohio State University and Buckeye football. I asked him whatever became of Rex Kern and he shut up. Then I asked if he saw the game(s) where Woody lost his shit and tore up the first down markers or the time he punched the Clemson player. He became sullen. He was a poor sport and did not take the loss graciously. 1995 Citrus Bowl: No. 6 Alabama 24, No. 13 Ohio State 17 2015 Sugar Bowl (College Football Playoff semifinal): No. 4 Ohio State 42, No. 1 Alabama 35 2020 National Championship Bama 52 OSU 24 Davanta Smith show
  4. Love it! They, and the Butteyes can’t suffer enough.
  5. What size LHB contingent is going to be in the infamous horseshoe? It can make a difference. Texas played at Auburn back in the early 80s. A guy I worked with was a Nam vet who was a glassy eyed Aubie with season tickets. He was at the game, which I think was game 1 out of the gate that year. He said the LHB started unloading about an hour and a half before kickoff and slowly filing in to a drum cadence with cowbells like WE. ARE. TEX. AAS. YOU. REDNECKS. ARE. TOAST! Then when the LHB all got in the stands, they led off with The Eyes, at which the Auburn multitude of goobers were just sitting there with mouths hanging open. The famous psychopathic “voodoo” Auburn fan base was whipped down before kickoff. Don’t tecall the score but my buddy was thoroughly demoralized and disappointed at how Texas dominated all game. And he was a captain on the Tuscaloosa PD and a .50 cal helicopter gunnner in Nam. Insufferable Aubie though, sheesh.
  6. Has anybody seen him?
  7. Texas 3 7 9 17 36 Ohio Shite 3 7 3 3 16 Texas time of possession 45:37 Buckeyes QBs sacks - 8 Arch - 187 OSU - 144 Ho hum Surly banner slogan revised to “Are we going undefeated?”
  8. Methinks Texas will be eschewing field goals in lieu of touchdowns vs OSU. Goodbye, Columbus, and your Bugs Bunny cartoon spats-wearing march too fast limbo drum major band. If I have to hear a fight song overplayed, let it be Texas Fight! early and often. Horns 28 Nuts 11
  9. I finta be ret ta go
  10. Jayhawks new stadium has wheat design in end zones - kinda cool
  11. Unfortunately the fecund paramecia in their lizard brains mutated in 2016 and they learned to vote
  12. The Boys start winning again like they did when they were called Cowboy Tom and the Dude Wranglers and yinz won’t give a shit what kind of uniforms they wear.
  13. If you’re old enough to remember this one, he weren’t too shabby in it either.
  14. I hope they lose to Baylor and keep losing early and often this year and end up bowl ineligible and their raptors all fly away. Those fuckers cannot suffer enough. Milroe and Bond changing an Auburn win into a loss on 4th and 31 was the best football play I’ve seen since Tua to Devanta.
  15. It’s not the Old Owl. Its the Owl Nest. That is all.
  16. In the fall of 2019 three friends and I journeyed to Kentucky and visited the site of the biggest Civil War battle no one ever heard of - the Battle of Perryville. While going up and down the hills in that region, we grew a mite peckish and a lot thirsty, both problems nicely cured in Harrodsburg, a popular stop on the Bourbon Trail where we conjured up The Beaumont Inn and Old Owl Tavern. I can highly recommend the Old Owl Tavern. If the Civil War odd stories interest anyone, read up on Perryville. It was a cluster fuck from the jump. Nothing went as anyone in gray planned or hoped.
  17. Is he related to the WR Shipley who singlehandedly kept you in the Rose Bowl game after Colt went down? That fucker was money. Texas PK was damn good that night. If Squints doesn’t get blind sided and fumble, Texas was one long Shipley catch and a FG away from sending the game to OT.
  18. I got yer brass right cheer. Now this grand old Russian pouf, as Monty Python’s Eric Idle once called him, wrote some fine tunes. What the Buck. as a perennial midfle and high school second chair french horn, I tip my hat to the Buckeye marching band. I loathe OSU football but I revere that band. Actually, most B1G marching bands are solid and bring it. Isn’t Indiana U like music degree Olympus?
  19. I had one of these for 14 or 15 years. I paid $19.99 for it in . . . 1999. It never let me down or bothered me beeping and dinging with spam scams during the day, usually 15 seconds after i get in the car to go hone. Only thing I ever changed was the dorky ring tone. Been using iPhones since 2013. I’d love to have one of these for vehicle safety. I’d toss this PoS iPhone if it weren’t for Surly.
  20. The Llama family afopted KOTH from the beginning. Later on when it started running in syndication or whatever and aired nightly at 10:30, we would always wstch it before turning in. I usually fell off to sleep before it ended, which helps reruns seem fresh. Maybe it’s my dementia kicking in. We have great reverence for Mike Judge and all who contributed to the once and present KOTH, to “Beaver and Buffcoat,” to Idiocracy and all other Judge whatnot and productions. I’m quite sure adults now aged 50-75 who were raised in the South knew individuals who resembled in many respects Hank, Mr. Thompson, LuAnn, Peggy, Bobby and the other cast members. Mr. Thompson: (gives his order) Butthead: . . . Uhhhhhhh Mr. Thompson: “Ah didn’t order ‘UHHH.”
  21. No Time For Sergeants ”Your father. . . LIVING?!!”
  22. Alien was like the Beatles at Shea. Before that, there was nothing. After then, there was everything. Except it was deadly and relentless and its blood was acid.
  23. Here’s what I want to see in Game 1 in Columbus. Jog on. Beat the ever loving crap out of OSU. Jog off. For my guys in Game 1 in Tallahassee. Just fucking win.
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