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Your Mom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Your Mom

  1. You guys going to Yellowstone need to check out the “Post a photo you took” thread and see LTBear’s work up there.
  2. Next time it’ll be an Uber driver that proactively shoots a passenger because they were driving past a sketchy area and thought the passenger might get nervous and shoot them over it. Gotta act fast and not give them the chance.
  3. I’ve got a few spots in mind to check out for dispersed camping. But we have so little of that in Texas and I’ve only done it a few times, so I’m not quite comfortable enough to show up without a back up plan. More than one I’ve shown up to a dispersed campground area and it looks like the homeless camps under Highway 71 in Austin. Plus, we want to be near towns for good eating. It’s not a camping trip, we just happen to be sleeping in a van. Down by the river.
  4. Not much hiking, well maybe a little bit, but my 15-year-old son and I are going to LA and renting a camper van to drive to San Francisco over 4 days on the PCH. Have campsites reserved near Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, and Monterey. Looking like highs in the 60s most of those spots next week.
  5. Rep for knowing what an outer marker is.
  6. True. FML. They’ll probably serve me chili dogs on that motherfucker too.
  7. That looks like some shit you picked up in the school cafeteria and then sliced a jalapeño over.
  8. So we might lose the cornrows bill in that mess too? Thanks a lot Abbot.
  9. This sits well with me.
  10. Been reading your posts for years… never even dawned on me about the username.
  11. The family booked a Royal Caribbean out of Galveston. They insisted on a Galveston cruise because it’s easier, I insisted on RC over Carnival and I’ll just plan on it being like one of those nicer Walmarts. Got a balcony room. I don’t know or care where the stops are. It’s after school starts so should be no kids. Started planning a trip to Switzerland for next summer to help me cope.
  12. This news looks like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound sack.
  13. Chili is a dish. Using it as a condiment is for filthy savages.
  14. Unless their financial livelihood is based on it, people who become infuriated over the actions of message boards and social media apps should re-evaluate the path their life has taken. That shit is it really not as important as it’s made out to be.
  15. That’s where I’m at. I like Smartless enough to have listened to a dozen or so episodes of the podcast, but it’s always my plan B or C after I’ve gone through my other podcasts before my drive is done. I usually find myself wishing each episode was only about 30 minutes.
  16. That’s the standard to get benched? Be the greatest college qb of all-time or gtfo?
  17. If you’re skinny dipping with Rose, that bitch will hog the whole plank and let your ass drown amongst the icebergs.
  18. UPS takes this approach with parking tickets. Drivers get told to park right out front, right in a lane if necessary, and turn in all your parking tickets at the end of the shift. Paying all those parking fines is cheaper than slowing down the operation.
  19. Why would anybody click on that?
  20. I’m more likely to tell them the boarding cut off is about two hours after it actually is.
  21. I would’ve guessed trafficking or pedo over white-collar crime based on the before and after mugshot
  22. I’ve been angling for the resort for a couple months now, but I’m getting outvoted by other family members. I’m the first generation in my family to escape a long line of white trash, so some of the family is not as averse to floating Walmart as I am.
  23. Careful, she’ll still ban your ass from some dark long-lost corner of the internet.
  24. I wish something like that was in the cards but it’s not. My mom and sister are beach people. I couldn’t give a fuck about going to the beach for the rest of my life if it were up to me. My mom hasn’t traveled a whole lot in her life, so we’re trying to make it a great trip for her and it will need to be tropical.
  25. I’m being roped into taking my mom on a cruise with some other family for her 80th birthday. I’ve never been on a cruise. I don’t want to go on a cruise. What cruise lines and ports do I avoid to minimize my exposure to trashy people. And which do I seek out instead?
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