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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. 5 years no interest. And I live in Beaumont, not River Oaks.
  2. Maybe its an asian American California thing, but I've always said/heard “the wind is from the north/ out of the north/its a north wind” when it is blowing towards the south. Not throwing shade on superhero, he's one of my favorite surlys but I had to wonder if maybe he had the boat in full reverse at some point. Its midnight and my wife and I just had a fight because we agreed to watch a show (in the bedroom, where a tv SHOULD NOT exist and predictably she promptly fell asleep. So I have to get up, start looking for the remote, and then turn the light on and search each layer of comforter/blanket/sheet, all while moving the dogs (marriage-sabotage beasts) so I can turn off the fucking television. She asks why Im being mean. I counter with you're being thoughtless, inconsiderate and disrespectful. Of course it's lost, so I unplug the TV. Then I get the bright idea to download the Samsung app to my iPhone, plug the tv back in, and attempt to pair the virtual remote because Im a problem solver, but I can't the pair the devices without the remote. So she's half asleep, bitching about why I’m being mean to her. I tell her I'm trying to solve marriage friction, she mumbles something about doing it tomorrow so I say fine and go unplug the tv. I'm getting real close to just sleeping in another bedroom from now on. But I bought an $16k bed with adjustable/vibrating bases and top of the line mattresses so why shouldn't I get to sleep on the most expensive bed Ive ever owned? But they are twins, so we can each control our side even though they are pushed together. I'm thinking about just moving my bed into a spare bedroom, sans TV, and acting like nothing happened. And when she broaches the topic of marriage therapy I will calmly say “you plainly prioritized dogs and Grays Anatomy over your marriage. I spent thousands attempting to accommodate you but it clearly wasn't valued.” Most nights I just throw a set of blue tooth bose headphones that are paired to th TV in her lap, grab my cool blackout eye mask from the freezer, and go to sleep. I just want to go to sleep when I feel like it without a battle. Tomorrow I’ll get a nice dog enclosure and put it in the foyer of our detached guest house. They can adjust.
  3. Like Billy Horshel did some years ago. Came out of nowhere and won it all.
  4. The 10th is my birthday too. I'll always remember you on that day.
  5. My kid lives about 10 minutes north of all those places in the super chill neighborhood of Andersonville and Ravenswood. That's how my Chicago goes these days. Glad you enjoyed it.
  6. The Sandler and Bryson break 50 on youtube wasn't bad. Sandler actually has some game.
  7. The graveyard scene was a little funny.
  8. Honestly I never imagined Xander with a sense of humor. Totally changed my perception. I can see tour events where people randomly spout “that's what she said” and “I think I have a fork in my ass!” to him incessantly. Not to mention Zalatoris being called “Blondie” I'll admit to fetish for Charlie Hull. “You fine assed British redneck” I wonder how many people are gonna invite Nelly Korda or Nancy Lopez to “Lunch? Benihana?”
  9. I've had a shitty week, its raining so Im not on my boat, and the first 4 minutes are incredible. Realized he is punching Bob Barker in the video game, and threw his clubs away in a Trojan logoed golf bag. I think Steve Busceme pissing into a mailbox ought to be the official surly .gif Thank you people for indulging my weirdness.
  10. The scene where he gets paired with 3 randoms would have been better if JD had been included and done JD shit but was unrecognized as well. I think he was completely underutilized. They could have lost the nerdy guy and gone with the cute chick (when she did the split in the sand trap I lost it. I'll bet they left a sandy vag joke on the cutting room floor) and the big guy with the ‘fro.
  11. And it would have been so much funnier if they had included you in their universe of cameos.
  12. Yes. I laughed at eminem shouting “Detroit” while being eaten by alligators. Great flick, especially the effort to at least live up to the original. “More blueberry crumble, Mr. Couples?” And Daly eating hand sanitizer…”ooh, that's actually hand sanitizer!” It was a barrage of cameos, I’m sure Ill watch it again tomorrow. But the fact that will Zalatoris sorta looked like the original caddie was awesome.
  13. I didn't ask for the details, but Ella’s casket was hand-painted with a yellow rose motif, and someone said that Texas artist adorned similar coffins for many of the victims. Danged it was gorgeous, but I was not about to take a photo.
  14. A few years back one of my engineers gave me a ride to my hotel, and he was listening to a podcast about that. My discomfort started when it took him 15 minutes to clean out enough trash from the passenger side of his minivan for me to sit down. Then the podcast made me contemplate one of those stuntman dives from a moving car where I hit the pavement just right and roll to avoid injury, but I was wearing a really nice suit. Later, after taking disability, he confided to me that he had ideated walking into our office with an AR and spraying down everyone in a hail of 5.56.
  15. Jewish, half Mexican, half Chinese is my Rosebud.
  16. Ah the good old days. My now-wife worked at Reaud, Morgan & Quinn at the time. And my FIL was Wayne’s “fixer.” Jack Brooks’ pet name for my wife was “Wayne’s goddamned token republican office girl” who refused to vote for him. That was before her run in with Greg Abbot over Warren Jeffs turned her blue. What a fucking world, man. But hey, I had sex.
  17. Played hooky for a few hours today.
  18. Just had a long discussion with the kind, knowledgable online docent at air and space by IAD. I apologized on behalf of rational Texans.
  19. Chills. Probably the most consequential aircraft in the 20th century. Not just any B29.
  20. 950k? That's about a quarter of the Mississippi river’s average flow at Baton Rouge. On the Guad. Hard to wrap my head around that. I am absolutely dreading a visitation/funeral tomorrow.
  21. That's the dining room I remember. My last visit was probably ‘93 ish.
  22. Bravo. And the enchiladas from the kitchen therein.
  23. Kinda like that SNL skit where Eddie Murphy did whiteface.
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