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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. I got detained by the feds in SW Louisiana for allegedly hunting a baited field. Opening day of south region dove season. It was back when ex-NFL linebacker Terry Schaunessy owned Hackberry Rod and Gun club, and he seeded the areas with goat weed 91 days before Sept 1 to avoid violating migratory bird laws. We were told in advance, even. “The feds got it out for me. Make sure you don’t shoot more than your limit; make sure your coolers have Gatorade only. Make sure your license looks right and keep it handy.” We shot over 400 of our 500 bird limit, and then a dozen federal game wardens appear. They rose from the field in ghillie suits, swooping from their ambush positions on four-wheelers. Then a helicopter landed, and even more agents stepped off the skids: all tactical, AR-15s, the whole show. Terry was pissed, and he wanted to kill the agent in command, and his client, VP of Trinity Industries (who had financed this weekend junket) wanted to kill him. They lined us up, took our birds, and sat there smirking with satisfaction until they began reading IDs. . . TX State senators, representatives, state judges, and a federal judge. Oh, and a bunch of us who happened to be loyal transit mix/Trinity industries customers. Mixing business with politics. They seemed confused, like they expected us to be contrite and guilty, not defiant and righteous. I was the youngest, so they picked me out and tried to get me to admit that I was told to admit I was hunting a baited field and that everyone else was guilty of the same. My reply was “hell man, we was waiting on you fuckers to show up.” It was getting close to dark thirty, but those guys had been hiding motionlessly in that Sept 1st heat since 5 am, daydreaming about a huge bust. 34 years later, the State representative’s son named his firstborn after my daddy. Dad had recently passed on, so it was very touching. I can’t wait til that kid gets older so I can tell him some stories about his own grandfather. I miss the way politics used to be. Back when the Texas dems had the power.
  2. From what I can tell, the 14 point guideline is to maximize accessibility for the other-abled.
  3. I wanna know which legislator’s wife likes drag shows, and why he hates her so much. Dade Phelan’s older brother and I (unknowingly, we were underage and thought it was a biker bar) walked into a gay bar one afternoon for a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. Not sure why I all of a sudden remembered that.
  4. This isn’t the existential crisis meme thread.
  5. I'm appalled. He used actual seagull shit to paint the white in the American flag, see how it drips onto trump’s suit shoulders?
  6. Can I just get the WSJ to abbreviate their alerts to “Musk announces latest bad decision” Haha just realized it’s Friday the 13th.
  7. Repped for use of MSO acronym. But they need something catchier, like GPON. “Gigantic producer of nastiness” caucus.
  8. Biden Administration - self-reported, returned immediately. Trump - “I handle document declassification the same way Jimmy Carter handles sin, if you think it, you did it!” Even if Dark Brandon was hiding incriminating shit on purpose and self reported like a teenager raiding a parents vodka bottle and adding water to hide the evidence. . .I’ll take the criminals that don’t fire people via social media. It would be really funny though, if those classified documents were nothing more than super enhanced photos of Hunter’s dong.
  9. Earlier I was stuck in traffic behind a pickup with “Justice for Ashli Babbit” in big letters across the rear window. Freaks. Southwest fwy, Houston. I had an appt in the med center and was ravenous so I stopped by Goode’s for a few slices of shitty brisket, was offset by the numerous “Mothers against Greg Abbott” yard signs in West U.
  10. I’m just brainstorming along with you. Trying to determine if there is a deliberately sinister conspiracy afoot, or a random marriage of self-centered narcissists.
  11. Foreign powers who have poured capital into crypto mining?
  12. Cowboys fans gotta love that persistent graphic in the top lh corner showing SF and PHI winning.
  13. The whole reason NFL went to a 17 game season was to break up the historical rhythm of Jeff Fisher and the Dallas Cowboys going 8-8. So the cowboys win what, 4 games next year ?
  14. That was about the funniest 10 seconds of (hopefully non scripted) television I’ve ever seen, from the replay of the almost interception to the pick six.
  15. From my sibling who Dennis Hastert hired and who was a longtime Associate Parliamentarian of the House of Representatives. For years she sat in that little desk next to the speaker with her finger on the mute button, enforcing house precedent: “As someone who has seen what an ordinary transition to a new House is supposed to look like, this dysfunction is blowing my mind. The American people elected a majority that literally is unable to govern!”
  16. Same thing here. I’m going to suggest that we just call it Co-champs. But I was down 12 with a 64% win probability with both Josh Allen and Tyler Boyd and the other guy was finished.
  17. I made my wife rewind the tv the first time I saw that because I thought I was hallucinating.
  18. Happy 2023, y'all. And welcome to newcomers.
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