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closetojumping

Burnt Ends
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  1. Longhornade started following closetojumping
  2. No one on this site wishes for Texas to not land Coleman if he’s a key target. If Sarkisian has all of the access to capital that landing him implies, awesome. If he’s being signed and then we hear the poormouthing about other key targets heading elsewhere, that’s less than optimal. I pointed out that the guy will frustrate people for the same reasons that Wingo does. I did it in a semi-cartoonish manner and now people have started to develop Surly facts that maybe he sucks and we shouldn’t want him. If the guy signs with Texas, with Jaggy McJaggerson leaving, he’s going to become my absurdist whipping boy for 2026. He’ll have to hold onto the pen long enough to sign the contract, so there’s still plenty of risk on this one not getting done.
  3. I was about to board the Tron ride this morning with my wife and kids. The riders ahead of us go to get on the ride and I noticed that one dude looked like he was clocking in around 350 pounds. “Man, that guy sat in the test seat and fit? Wow. “ 5 minutes later, they still couldn’t get his fat ass harnessed in and he’s yelling at the workers to “just run it anyway, I’ll be fine, goddammit!” as more workers arrived to usher him off stage left. Shut the ride down for almost 10 minutes. Perhaps because I was reading Surly while waiting, I actually thought “hell, that very well could have been Mike Elko”.
  4. Hey, man, you’re the Portal Pirate, you tell us.
  5. The word is out on Elko in the assistant coaching world. Even though he’s making like $10M/year, apparently he’s pretty bad about bullying his assistants for their per diem money when they’re on the road. He’s then spending it all on Krispy Kreme and bourbon and not sharing with anyone.
  6. I doubt it. I think you guys have been underestimating Parker from the day he committed forward. Texas should have ponied all the way up and paid this stud the $800k he’s demanded. We will rue this day, folks.
  7. This is a cut to the quick, sir. You’ve made the list.
  8. I thought this was inevitable, but they’ve been talking like he was committed to staying. I don’t really think Tatum sucks. It wouldn’t surprise me if he went somewhere and did okay.
  9. You put a lot of thought into writing something this dickless. Strong work. Everyone was doing a great job of avoiding the conjuring of negative Texas personnel scenarios. Then you showed up to doom us all.
  10. Awesome. Texas is going to push the pile into the middle for Cam Wingdeuce. Chris Jackson apparently has a pathological need to have serial pass droppers with fumblitis littering his WR room.
  11. Late to follow up here but I wanted to fix your post for you.
  12. Lucky for you, all of your other position groups are in great shape.
  13. I, for one, am heartbroken that Jaggy McJaggerson was told to go be mediocre and drop passes somewhere else. Maybe he’ll wind up with $250k from a dumbass program like Tech that wants to claim victory off the field against Texas. I am now claiming analytical dominion over all of the idiots on this site who thought that this reject from Alan Jackson’s lineage would ever amount to anything worth a fuck at the University of Texas. All of you people have been cheering blindly for a traitorous hillbilly born with a silver spoon in his mouth and skillets for hands.
  14. “Why did you sting me? Now we’re both going to drown. “ “Because I’m a scorpion. “
  15. If we made this shit up and posted it, aggies would call us liars. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! This is terrific. Elko really is an Ivy Man. He believes he’s smarter than everyone else in every single room. Outstanding.
  16. Yes. If I felt like you had any concept of what it takes to build high functioning cultures and organizations, I’d elaborate, but then again, if you had that understanding, you wouldn’t have asked the question in the first place. We all know you would spend as much of other people’s money as it would take to land him and damn the consequences, so you’re good.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

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