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Everything posted by closetojumping
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Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
OTF is hosting a happy hour in Midtown in Houston tonight. I’m thinking about showing up and offering outlandish critiques of the coaching staff and various players in order to see how many old and middle aged men I can cause to stroke out or to challenge me to fist fights or 40 yard dashes.- 5135 replies
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What folks who are younger than most of us might have a hard time believing is that Auburn wasn’t even part of the national conversation. There was no SEC SEC SEC bullshit of note. No one watched those guys play that season and thought “yeah, they could beat Oklahoma or USC”. OU shit the bed against USC and hindsight tells those who weren’t there that an objective argument can be made in favor of Auburn being viable, but no one saw it that way then. SEC honks this morning are touting that team’s worthiness and it’s a joke. I saw Tuberville tweeting about being a champion. I don’t care about the politics, I just despise that motherfucker for his CFB profile. Boring, zero integrity, dumber than a sack of shit. His stunt leaving recruits at dinner in Lubbock to fly out to Cincy is spineless, dickless shit. And now that fucking asshole gets to claim being a national champion. If Greg Davis wasn’t a thoughtless, playcalling coward, I think Texas vs USC that year would have been a really fun game.
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OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I’ve told the story before, but I enjoy it so I’ll do it again here. OU punched down in 2022 on their first 3 opponents and looked like worldbeaters. The 3rd game was a routing of a hapless Scott Frost-led Nebraska team of failure. College Sports Sunday on XM 84 is hosted by Barrett Sallee and Tom Luginbill, then through now, and they were talking about all of the games from the day before. They were lauding how dominant OU looked and then pondering what their flaws might be. Then they have Chris Plank come on. Plank does work on shows for XM and he’s also either the color guy or sideline guy for OU radio broadcasts. While he went to Tulsa, he’s an absolute OU homer. He’s just on there gushing with those guys and then they ask him: “what is a worrisome flaw with this OU team?” Plank pauses dramatically and then says, “Gosh, you know guys, I don’t think there are any. “ That OU team finished with a losing record. These rubes do this every year and to Pato’s point, they’ve been rewarded for it for so long that they still can’t see the bullshit over the past few years and what’s currently going on in their regime. Guys on their sites are like “Teddy and Gabe are never gushing like this. They were giving out warnings last August.” No, they were not. Lehman and Ikard are in the tank and are the least objective commentators you could find for OU. Good summary of their current trap they’ve constructed for themselves. -
“Well other people are doing it, so that justifies us doing it. “ No, the “current landscape” doesn’t make that nonsense any less embarrassing. But, hey, Auburn is the craziest and one of the historically dirtiest programs in all of CFB, so, yeah, fuck it. There’s zero reputational risk because if it wasn’t for low class, Auburn wouldn’t have any class at all.
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OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Durkin is now at Auburn for a second season and has yet to kill anyone. I agree that these idiots are being flippant about this with Fasusi. Surely the medical staff isn’t that stupid. Separately, Fasusi being a starter isn’t like Banks being a starter. This dude needs time. Them rushing him to the starting lineup because the other guys suck worse is quite the thing for their idiot gurus to tout. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Am I insane or is the absolute worst way to play a physical beast like Smith is with man press? It seems like you would have to be one bad motherfucker to regularly handle that guy on the LOS. I think Muhammad is a fine CB, but he’s certainly not a bad motherfucker physically. -
OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
He had a heat stroke and they had to take him via ambulance to the hospital. Of course, they’re all saying he’s now perfectly fine. To be clear, I don’t think Wingo even passed out and the dude spent two nights under observation in the hospital and missed a week of practice. Things are handled differently up in Norman though. -
Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: Boulevard of Broken Bagmen
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Yeah, it's like people constantly have to play "hold my beer" when it comes to attempting to plumb new depths of topic banalities here. -
OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I have to tell you, the OU WR room is fucking abysmal. Spoilered below is an article from Sooners Illustrated in which they talk to Emmett Jones and he pines for the return of two guys who currently have no timetables for a return - Gibsons Javonnie and Jayden. Highlights: -Emmett Jones rated an FCS WR from UAPB as the top guy in the portal, apparently above names like Singleton, Key, Thomas, Barion Brown, Branch, Horton, you name it. No no, it was this Javonnie Gibson guy. Don't blame Jones if the guy doesn't come back soon enough and the WR room sucks again. It's all of those damned injuries again. -They've come close to simply no longer really discussing Jayden Gibson as a viable option for this season. -Burks has been both hurt and less athletic this fall camp. They'll still tout him in the media as a wizard who scored 3 tds against Temple and averaged less than 9 yards per catch last season, but they're far less enthusiastic about his output for this coming season. -I follow OU as closely as anyone and I am having a hard time thinking of names that are actually practicing for them right now at WR. Elijah Thomas and Manny Choice are freshmen getting reps. Some dude named Regan? Sategna is there. It's slim pickings, but no doubt John Mateer will elevate some of these scrubs to All Conference as he marches his way towards the Heisman. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Doering was talking about the Texas game in an interview on OffCampus on XM 84 a week or so ago. He said that the game last year was the low point in the season and an embarrassment to the Florida program. Napier heard about it from the admin before they got back on the plane and he heard about it from anyone who would see him until they went on their win streak. They've been pointing at this game from the end of bowl season and this is apparently the hottest ticket in Gainesville since Doering or anyone else can remember. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I guess y'all are right. I'm predisposed to taking aggies seriously when they're doing idiotic shit. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Already gave my thoughts, sir. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
The joke is going to be on everyone here when McJaggerson goes for 200 yards and 3 TDs against OU, then, after the game at the PC, he pulls off his mask and reveals that he's really been Agiye Hall in whiteface all along.- 5135 replies
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Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I certainly see risk with the UF game for reasons that you mention and for reasons like the potency of their offense, which I mentioned earlier. That said, I don't blame folks for not really getting amped about it yet due to the distance from here and now. There are a number of problems for UF ahead of the Texas game that work in UT's favor. 1) Their defense isn't anything special and Ron Roberts is an absolute buffoon. 2) Outside of RB, the depth across the entirety of their team is paper thin. Napier runs the same kind of physical practices that Venables runs, and he does so throughout the season. Injury issues at UF under Napier are a feature, not a bug. 3) Lagway may well be made of glass. He just started working in 11's yesterday. LIU is a scrimmage, but USF, @ LSU and @ Miami ahead of the Texas game will be physical contests and it's no secret that UF goes as Lagway goes. He's going to be a target and all three of those teams are going to have their hair on fire playing Florida, each for different reasons. Yeah, there's a bye for UF before Texas, but if Lagway gets the shit beat out of him, he might just simply be out. The OL better be as good as I think it is going to be if he's to stay upright. 4) As y'all discuss, Texas has nothing after OSU until UF, including a bye week itself. I know they work on OU scheming all year, and there will certainly be OU work put in during that month between OSU and OU, but Texas can also do plenty of work prepping for UF before UF week. 5) Sun Belt Billy is a fucking imbecile. I listened to him in an interview last week and it almost sounded like a Key & Peele skit. I think "and um", "and uhhh" and "you know" comprised more than 50% of what he said. He's buffoonish with decisions during games as well. I know that's not always a strong suit of Sarkisian's either, but we're talking orders of magnitude here. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I follow your general thinking, but I don't think 7 for 87 is "going crazy". I'm sure Day and Hartline have spent a ton of time working on offsetting some of Texas' coverage schemes they expect on 8/30, but I'm going to be pretty surprised if Texas trots out the same general approach on defense. Try to shut down Smith and make someone else beat you, sure, but I also think they want to force Sayin to win the game. Shut down the running game with new offensive personnel almost everywhere and bracket Smith all day. If Inniss, Klare and Tate team up with Sayin for a big day, I guess we tip our hats. I'm going to be stunned if Ohio State gets more than 250 yards of total offense, personally. I expect Sayin to finish the game with level of shellshock. OSU fans and mods aren't expecting any of that, but the majority seem to think that the Texas defense is going to be markedly worse than the one 9 months ago. That woman looks like she's wearing an African war mask. No thank you. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I think you should pump the brakes on Jaeden Roberts as anything close to "extremely talented". He's a multi-year starter at Bama, sure, but the lines the past few years haven't been great and he's been a complaint from their audience the entire time. They allowed 49 sacks two years ago and he was a big part of that. Daboer was better at protecting and moving Milroe last season but they still sucked for long stretches against good defenses. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
To this point, LSU's OL was the most touted in the country heading into 2024 and the 4 starters who left were all drafted. They were also mostly healthy all year. And their running game fucking sucked against any defense that could fog a mirror. "Championship caliber" is almost entirely derivative of other drivers for a title, from coaching to QB to defense. Yeah, we're going to have to disagree on a few things here. -Clemson returns most of the OL, but they're hardly a top flight group. They never are. Clemson produces dogshit at OL. If folks are looking at sources of weakness for Clemson this season, one of them is likely going to be special teams but the other is their running game. Blake Miller is obviously a stud being projected to be drafted, but the other guys are just kind of there. Not having a proven back behind those guys is also going to be a potential problem. -ATM's OL is paper thin. With Fatheree out, it just got a whole lot thinner. Any injuries along the OL and the recruiting chickens come home to roost in brutal ways for the aggies. My view is that just having guys returning shouldn't be enough to mark a unit as one of the best in the country. -Maybe Bama's will be good. Brailsford was an AA last year and Proctor has the recruiting pedigree, sure. Roberts is about as jaggy as they come and they haven't been impressed with what they have at RT. Simpson isn't on the same level of mobility at Milroe by any stretch and their #1 RB is now out indefinitely. Hell, there's a shot Cam Dewberry somehow starts at LG there. -For my money, the best OL in the SEC heading into this season is Florida. They return their own AA and 3 other starters. Lagway and their stable of high quality backs plus a returning starter at TE has the potential to make that OL look really good. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I looked it up. UNT was another season’s terrible opener. 2000 was ULaLa and Simms throwing a pick or pick 6 to open the game and then Texas lazily pummeled them 52-10. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
That Stanford game. JFC. Mack was upset about the fans not showing enough love after the opening game. I think maybe the opener that year was a lackluster performance against UNT. Texas won like 30-0 but the OL looked like hammered dogshit. A Nose Tackle named “Booger”, who was legitimately no taller than 5’10” and looked like a human fire hydrant, went nuts and basically shut the run game down. So Texas fans were meanies on the Internet and then one got loose on Mack’s call-in show and complained about the performance. So, Mack Brown had one of his kept men in the news corps following the program, Jerry Scarborough, right a stern admonishment in his newsletter at the fans. You could practically see Mack Brown wagging his finger at us through Scarborough’s write-up. He warned us that Mack could just take an NFL job and then we’d apparently be stuck with John Mackovic again as our only choice. I met up for one of the first times with PhxHorn, SLX, oneriver, CrazyJoeDavola, and other GoBig12 and Hornfans great posters at the time at a Chuy’s in Houston the Friday before that game. Phx was beside himself over Scarborough sending that out (they were friends) and then lamenting that Mack was focused on the wrong shit and we were in trouble for the Stanford game. “No way, man. “ early 20’s ctj thought. It was a late start on the west coast. We looked like shit almost immediately. Stanford had no business beating Texas that night. It was infuriating. I don’t get what they think they’re doing with this kind of stuff. It’s pathetic. You’re putting other programs, with no ties to ATM, up on a pedestal. I get that there are no “iconic” images from ATM history to tie their WR corps to, so just don’t do something pathetic like this. They can’t help themselves though. They’re going out of their way to embarrass themselves here.- 467 replies
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
He gave $20M to the actual finance program a few years ago, I believe, as well. -
Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
There’s a bigger reveal here for you guys than just a new facility. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
They're being vague about injuries because The Elk is one paranoid fatfuck, but the rumors are flying. Jerome Myles posted on SnapChat from a hospital bed at Memorial Hermann Joint Center and they're saying he reinjured his knee and is having surgery. No one will confirm a timeline or the degree of injury, but it's actually posted on an Aggies247 thread that was started by one of their "insiders" a week ago, saying that the guy was awesome in practices and scrimmages and passing multiple players on the depth chart. Separately but on the same front, Reuben Fatheree has the dreaded "lower leg injury" and is on crutches. Carter Karels confided that they don't have specifics, but he's not expected to return to practice for "at least a few weeks". Given that that guy missed almost two seasons with a knee injury, I'm not sure I'd be real optimistic on his healthy return in just a few weeks if he's on crutches and wearing a boot. BTW, this was also disclosed on Texags, but apparently only to the premium subscriber board, which has non-subscribers comparing The Elk and Liucci's behavior to Little Debbie Franchione.- 467 replies
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OU Football 2025 - League Average & Loving It
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Do you understand how generations work? I feel like you should. -
Texas Football 2025 - Playing With Our Food
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
I know how to read a room. The problem is, many times in my life, I’ve read the room and then said “fuck it”. I don’t recommend it for everyone, but I’ve had a hell of a ride. -
Texas A&M Football 2025 - On the Edge of Glory(holes)
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
Apparently an insider on Texags' premium board has posted a bunch of camp notes. @Longhornfrenzy do you have access to that forum? I don't. One of the things he's stating is that safety is the worth position on the field for them, that they're all soft or slow back there, and that Bryce Anderson is playing himself out of a role and likely won't be a starter. Paraphrasing from someone on Aggies247's paraphrasing of Texags.
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