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Paco

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Paco

  1. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. (please)
  2. Homemade mask of concrete dust and linseed oil at least three times a week. Oh, and usually some ratio of chili and lone star in my beard. I think that helps a lot.
  3. As the owner of two mastiffs and a Walker coon hound, I would say your husband is... absolutely correct.
  4. "This portajohn is disgusting! I don't know how you guys can take a shit in here, I can barely eat my sandwich"
  5. My son's best buddy from age 4-7 died of brain cancer. He had to wear a helmet all the time and a lot of the kids gave him shit over it. My son asked if he could have a cool helmet like his buddy, and they were inseparable. Anyway, when he passed the service was at St. Martin's Lutheran. I really didn't want to go, obviously, and my son still didn't quite understand that his buddy was gone for good. He had been in the hospital quite a bit for the last few weeks and we weren't sure if my son understood that his friend was gone. The Pastor at St Martin's gave the most amazing sermon I've ever heard. Somehow he made the kids understand that their friend had moved on to a place where hospitals and helmets weren't necessary. That was many years ago. I don't remember what he said, but I do remember that parents and children left the service with a true sense of closure. I can't explain what a comfort that was. Obviously I can't comprehend what the boy's parents were going through, and I can't imagine that the service was anything more than a motion they had to go through, and that's absolutely understandable. But for my son and me, and many others, I think the wisdom of his words were absolutely perfect at a time of sadness and uncertainty. I think your wife will find those words. They may not perfect, but if sincere and heartfelt her words will resonate with an audience searching for any shred of hope amidst the unspeakable tragedy of the death of a child.
  6. I don't know if there's crack in money, but there's definitely money in crack.
  7. You have to include Phil "The Claw" Pozderac just for his holding prowess.
  8. What the fuck just happened here? Something just... I...uh What the fuck just happened here
  9. How many of the places you shopped had Eagle Rare?
  10. "That Aikman is gooner bum! Trade his ass so Steve Walsh can take us to the Super Bowl!" - Paco, 1989
  11. Paco

    Longhorn Network

    Is it too late to edit? It seems like it's too late.
  12. When you make your own HEB can you make sure the goddamn thing is open?
  13. Corn, malted six row barley. Cook it, mash it. Pitch yeast and ferment on the grain for 7-10 days. Should be about 5% ABV. Run through your still, keeping everything except the first half pint and anything below 25%. Distill again, this time carefully cutting heads and tails. Keep hearts, set aside heads and tails for people you don't like. Take your botanicals (juniper, coriander, cardamom, anise, citrus peels, whatever you want to try) and macerate in the spirit for 24 hours. Strain out the solids and put 3/4 of the juice in the boiler of your still. Put the remaining quarter of the juice plus half the botanicals in the thumper. Distill,, make cuts again. Or so I'm told.
  14. Meatloaf sammich, because hangover.
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