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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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  1. The downside of regularly using bidets is your butthole becomes baby soft, and even the softest TP feels like you're scraping your sphincter with sandpaper.
  2. Wow. That was a LOOONNGGG time ago. I sold it in 2009. Have we been together (Hornfans > Shaggy > the Surl) for that long? I feel old.
  3. Was it Bolverk who had a fling with a crazy from New Orleans?
  4. You posted a picture that your son took at a No Kings protest. Do you remember? Because I 'member. We only saw your wife from the back. Now we want pictures from the front.
  5. Superhero

    High

    Which one of you degenerates is this?
  6. I'm going to go out on a limb and said it was an accident.
  7. Now we now why you put up with Trixie. Now we just need pictures of @wood's wife.
  8. I have the MOST bizarre dreams. Last night's dream involved drinking margaritas with coworkers, stealing my boss's Lexus supercar (which doesn't exist), killing perceived enemies with a sharp tool that I jab into their bodies and injecting them with a poison from a spray bottle connected to the large needle, preventing a younger coworker from killing me in the same manner by jabbing him first, trying to get to an airport to catch a plane - the GPS said it was a 30 minute walk, but the taxi driver, (Uber doesn't exist) in a beat up white sedan said it would take 3 hours, 2 if he drove really fast, sharing 3 hotels rooms, one which is wedge shaped, between 5 people, my wife cheating with one of the VPs and acting nonchalant about it, getting lost on the streets of a south American town, meeting a family dressed like they're from the 1950s, not on the 1st floor of the airport because that's for arrivals, not the 3rd floor because that's departures, but on Level 2, and parking in a parking lot with the steepest drop off... But what does it all mean?
  9. Brake > clutch
  10. I’m not your guy, friend.
  11. My daughter was mad at my wife this morning because my wife changed her alarm time. When I asked her why she needed so much time in the morning. Her: Because I have to do this and that and yada yada yada… and I’m not you, I don’t wear a uniform. Me: ??? Her: You always wear gray slacks and just a different shirt.
  12. lol. I did a double take because that guy (old Asian man) dresses like my dad. And that something my dad would totally do.
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