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IDIOTsavant

Burnt Ends
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Posts posted by IDIOTsavant

  1. 6 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

    Maldonado is released. Someone on here suggests we bring him back to work with the pitchers- I establish a rock solid alibi and then hunt them down and stab them in the neck.

    I’ll have to meet you for a happy hour before a game in the first half of the season then. Will provide GPS coordinates within a tank of gas (there and back) from the stadium that will never be found.

    • Like 1
  2. Spoiler
    3 hours ago, campcrunk said:

    We just have SO MANY "fun," "little" recruiting hiccups to look back on "fondly" from the Charlie/Herman years. 

    Terrell Cuney, Cameron Hampton (WHO?), Lorenzo Joe, Chris Warren, Kai Locksley, Cameron Townsend (what's with all the LBs named "Cameron" that I do not remember at all?), Buck Major, Garrett Thomas, Patrick Hudson (alas, what could have been - under the pretty significant assumption that we didn't fuck up his development ALL the way up. Which is a MASSIVE gamble and probably not at all realistic given our staff at the time. Sigh...), Jeff McCulloch, Kyle Porter (saw him play in HS. I could've sworn he was even better than Rodney Anderson, though it's hard to tell behind the grown ass men Katy rolls out on OL. Turns out that they both just kind of sucked), Jean DeLance (see what proper development can do for you??? I don't give a shit that he didn't do anything in the NFL. He was damn solid in college. For Florida😠).

    And who could possibly forget JP Urquidez? Certainly not @Tex Pete. Then, OF COURSE, we have the amazing, astonishing, astounding, absolutely unparalled Florida Five. Thanks to Davante Davis for being the only one was worth a shit, managing to last through one, single, solitary motherfucking practice without quitting, AND having the grades to make it onto campus in the first place. Also, does the name "Shiro Davis" ring a bell for anyone? Me neither. 

    Oh, and hey! Who wants to see Tom Herman call a pitch to Danny Young on 4th and 0.5 so we can watch him promptly lose 3 yards and turn the ball over at our own 40 while looking like he's running through quicksand? Good times, good times. Herman EASILY had some of the most baffling turnovers on downs I've ever seen. And I LOVE it when coaches are aggressive and do that. Herman was just godawful at it. Then, of course, we had the other "magnificant" offensive "weapons" Herman and his cadre of imbicile assistants and yes men brought in.

    Montrell Estell (when he wasn't switching back and forth to DB), Reese Moore, Reese Leitao, doctor and amateur pharmacist (and as an part time amateur pharmicist myself, I don't even respect his work in that field. Xanax? How generic and uncreative can you get? Go get you some 4-HO-MiPT, DPT, or DiPT. Or, if you absolutely have to sell benzos instead of something cool, try Pyrazolam, Bromazolam, Flubrotizolam, or Flubromazolam. They're not even technically illegal as long as marked "not for human consumption" and/or you put the little skull and crossbones on the container thanks a loophole in the Federal Analogue Act you could pilot an aircraft carrier through), Toneil (excuse me: Toenail) Carter, Jordan Pouncey, Brennan "Alligator Arms" Eagles, Josh Moore's unregistered gat, Malcom Epps (probably my personal favorite. "Bama wanted him so he MUST be good!!1" Saban would have trapdoored his ass 15 seconds after he set foot in Tuscaloosa. Assuming, of course, that the only reason we got him at all isn't because Saban had already trapdoored his ass. And then, "offensive wunderkind genius" Lincoln Riley takes him? That alone should disprove every "Riley is an incredible coach" argument we've ever had on this board), and Casey Thompson, annihilator of locker rooms. Who could forget good old Casey Thomson, his proud papa, and their insistence that Casey was worlds better than Ehlinger. 

    We should also note that Thompson (and dear old dad, of course. I wonder if he got to keep the orange jumpsuit from that SI cover?) played at least some small part in Cam Rising bolting for Utah - though I concede most of it had to do with Rising's idiotic assumption that he'd come take Sam's job from day 1), Tyler Johnson, Javonne Shephard (lol), Ja'Quinden Jackson (GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, HERMAN AND YURCICH. We had this guy as a potential wildcat QB or powerback and we were running pitches to DANNY FUCKING YOUNG on 4th and inches???!!) and, of course, Keaontay Ingram (here come the intrusive thoughts and involuntary flashbacks of the LSU game which will probably be followed by seizures and months long severe depression...). 

    And, of course, Herman's defensive recruiting. Just... MWAH! *Chef's kiss.* Jalen Green, Tyler Owens, Juwan "I'm collecting AARP checks dven though I'm still transferring between schools" Mitchell, Prince Dorbah ("just look at that first step! He's like our very own Von Miller!"), Xavion Aford, Sawyer Goram-Welch (counting him as a DT since that's what he was recruited as - even though he's found a way to be a complete non-factor (or worse) on BOTH sides of the ball now), and Caleb Johnson ("if he ever gets on the field, he's like Gary Johnson but bigger and faster! Really! I swear! Guys? Guys? Where are you going?").

    And, to save the absolute best for last, the tin man himself, BJ Foster. Maybe the single most frustrating Texas defensive back I've ever had the misfortune to watch. Say what you want about Taafe, Schooler, and Haines. At least they left everything on the field when they played. Foster, on the other hand, couldn't even be bothered to run down multiple very stoppable touchdown plays and plenty of other long gains when he didn't feel like it.

    Meanwhile, Breckyn Hager is still MASSIVELY overrunning the backfield somewhere. He's probably several hundred miles behind the play by now and still going, determined to get to that QB. Don't ever give up, little buddy. You'll get to freshman Brock Purdy someday, even if you have to sprint all the way to San Francisco to do it. 

    J0Ro72.gif

    Well. What a "fun" little walk down memory lane. I think almost everyone here knows I could keep going on this. For a long, LONG time. But I think this post is already too long (and disheartening, enraging, and just plain miserable enough). Also, I prefer not to disparage MOST kids who decide to be Longhorns as long as they try, aren't complete fuckups, or aren't just bad guys. Anyway, now that I've remembered all of that and even done some research on it, I'm gonna go drink a whole container of bleach, swallow 3 bottles of Oxy, and stick my head in the oven just to make sure I get the "job" done.

    Sincere thanks to Bijan, Sam, Roschon, Lil'Jordan, Collin Johnson, Sweat, Ford, Cosmi, Poona, and some other guys for making our games under Herman and Strong (usually) bearable to watch. Especially when Herman actually bothered to play Bijan.

     

     

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    • Haha 2
  3. French horn obviously sucks as applied to middle school band, but we can’t forget to mention the kid who sucked at alto sax and was moved to baritone sax in an attempt to get her to quit….she enthusiastically made up for her lack of quality with quantity - all the way to the corp and aggy marching band. Proof positive that those fuckers will take anyone.

    • Like 1
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
  4. Feels like they’re trying to make room to sign a safety and still have enough to extend Nico now instead of waiting until after the season….and I doubt Sweat is on the table at 42 even if he’s there. Doesn’t seem to fit what Demeco had in SF. I’d think the second or third pick might be Jenkins (Michigan DT) or Orhorhoro (Clemson DT).

  5. 11 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

    The answer remains breakfast tacos as the best food.

    Refried beans from a pot of charro beans I made this week. Bacon, egg, and cheese filling. Homemade chipotle-serrano salsa.

    Do not listen to the schismatics that put whole strips of bacon.  You cook the bacon first, to mostly crispy but still flexible.  Chop it roughly and stir it and any cheese into the egg mixture towards the end of cooking. 

    image.thumb.jpeg.2b67d901fb9ff9f97c0155dd3f478ac1.jpeg

    All of this was correct until you added the eggs. Bean, cheese, and bacon is the perfect breakfast taco.

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Like 2
  6. Are some of you asshats really going with “the peanut was never proven” excuse? Jesus. Hopefully, this lady in LA had no real info on if they asked him about the severity of his allergy. If they thought he’d get hives or something, it’s not that bad and in line with dumbass high school boys. If they thought he’d die, fuck that. It’s really that simple. But like usual, everyone here commenting really knows shit about fuck. Fucking offseason. Carry on.

  7. Evie Mae’s was a damn nice detour. Brisket was excellent, and I’m looking forward to eating a piece of sheet cake when I get to my destination. Don’t want to eat that much sugar and be stuck in the middle of nowhere without a convenient restroom.

    • Like 1
  8. Going to be driving through Lubbock around 11 on Sunday. Can any locals give me an idea about the line at Evie Mae’s? Don’t want to spend too damn long in line, but it would break up my drive a bit if it’s not too bad. Appreciate any insight.

  9. 5 hours ago, closetojumping said:

    3) Rather than thinking through the 5 star and high 4 star impacts, going the opposite route and looking at a few teams and their classes over a 5 year period and seeing how many guys ranked outside of the top 250 nationally played key roles on their team, and how those teams performed. Maybe there are some interesting indicators there that would help thinking about intangibles like evaluation, development, luck and such differently. Maybe it's all noise. That's why it intrigues me.

    I've got some time right now and many of the stupid tangents that all of the threads are taking have bored me, so I'm pondering topics that might be interesting to me and some of you non-idiots posting here. 

    Michigan would make a great subject for this topic. Their last Top 5 class was 2017, but I feel like most of the top of that class flamed out, and the lower ranked guys formed the backbone of the last couple of years. Classes have been ranked between 10-20 since, but the results were significantly better than Harbaugh’s early tenure when he seemed to be star chasing.

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Like 1
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