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Gatorubet

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Gatorubet

  1. The second photo screams bad acting, so I’m assuming this is false
  2. “At first - some of the congregation were upset with the Polaroids of youth group member butt holes with sharpies in them….but then Pastor Jones reminded us that King David was beloved of God, and David was a bit of a freak as well, what with all the concubines and such. God anoints who God anoints…”
  3. When I was an eighth grader in Kansas City, Missouri, I went over to one of the neighbor kids houses to listen to Sergeant Pepper on the hi-tech reel-to-reel tape player his parents had purchased for him. I had a brief interaction with his mom, listening to the news, who gleefully told me, “They just killed Martin Lucifer Coon!” Experiences may vary.
  4. During the Battle of the Bulge, my father and his 9th Armored buddies finally allowed to leave the fortified goose-egg they created at the crossroads town of St. Vith, and were only able to disengage from the German offensive when the 82nd airborne reached them, making a narrow pathway to withdraw without being annihilated on Christmas Eve. He said “if you ever meet a member of the 82nd airborne, buy them a drink for me.” Buy your son a drink for my father, and us middlemen will figure logistics out later.
  5. I don’t believe you have considered the possibility that military personnel with plastic spray bottles we’re negligently focused on spraying vinegar at the jet contrails.
  6. Unless this is the same question as Stalin’s concerning the Pope’s criticism, “How many divisions does he have?” You only have to stop what you’re doing if someone can actually make you stop. Hence gutting the civil service and filling the federal government with toadies and Myrmidons.
  7. public service announcement: Catch the Frazetta documentary on Netflix
  8. deep within his subconscious, coding for X embeds is whirling through his brain
  9. I’ve lost 22 pounds since September. All the doctors and clinics we send our clients to constantly send us cakes and donuts and cookies and fudge brownies to the point I gained 20 pounds after working there a year and a half. I started on Wegovy (sp) and noticed I could walk by the gourmet muffins and not grab one, and instead grab a banana and have that for lunch. One nice benefit is that I’ve lost my desire to have a second third or fourth drink. I don’t feel sick, I just no longer have the desire. And I’m sure part of it is I finally decided I wanted to lose weight and get in better shape, and so I don’t know how to separate the psychological - with me intentionally shopping to make sure I have a lot more salads and vegetables to steam for dinner - or the longer digestion period and reduction of my hunger in general from the drug I have noticed my chest freezer is getting full, because instead of finishing a big plate or having seconds I now consider them leftovers and throw them in the freezer. The freezer is getting annoyed as I don’t have room for anything. All in all I’m happy I’m doing it.
  10. i’m glad Trump doesn’t know that people will sell their plasma. Because then he’d know that people will BUY plasma. And he’d quit deporting them and instead build giant plasma factories in the middle of the desert at old military bases, milking the knocked out brown people. On second thought, nahhhh! I forgot about Steven Miller and that “ruining the blood” thing.
  11. No undocumented workers means no cows milked. But I’m sure American youth will want to move to Methbreath Iowa and take those jobs.
  12. nothing. drifter beat up the warranty folks without a lawyer.
  13. Ya mean, like magnets?
  14. “It’s like trickle down economics…. Eventually, some of my Wagyu beef and lobster will be available to the common man.”
  15. You got in on the ground floor, didn’t you?
  16. Me reading almost any thread anymore…
  17. Trump is pulling funding for any school that teaches that white people were mean to Black people at some point in the past. If you teach the slaves were taught useful skills you should get your money.
  18. Orthodox or Reformed space alien worship?
  19. i’m not gonna guess how many older men with goatees in pick up trucks with truck nuts are going to be cruising the Home Depot parking lots looking for people.
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