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Gatorubet

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Gatorubet

  1. Just one. You had to walk up the hill to get to school - but coming home was easy peezy. Except the day I got my brand new Schwinn bike that was a bit too big for me and on the way home the hill was steep enough that whatever the hell I weighed was not enough to bring the bike to a stop, so my runaway bike actually did not stop at the end of the street - but went through - and across - the street into a neighboring ball field. Fortunately, while there was traffic coming in both directions I was untouched going through the intersection. To be fair to long-ago prosecutors, I did come pretty close to dying that day. Shit, a few years later when I was on safety patrol in Kansas during a blizzard the school let us stand out in the zero degree /high winds with my whistle and my buddy’s stop sign on a wooden pole. by the time it dawned on them that maybe they should bring us back in we all had frostbite on our faces. In a whole lot of ways, the good old days were moronic. Everything is a balance, and the pendulum has swung too far the other side. Letting us run around unsupervised during the summer from morning to when it got dark put me in several circumstances that could’ve been serious injury or fatality producing. I fortunately missed that experience, but it was probably the golden age of pedophilia because nobody was watching the kids. Now, of course, the kids have all been taken and they are gone.
  2. Damn. My parents and all of my friends parents were criminals and we did not even know it. At seven I would walk to - and back from - elementary school every day by myself. This includes the days when it was snowing in Iowa. Granted, it was only about a 10 minute walk.
  3. A solution to bananaless living?
  4. Just a bit of the old Peruvian marching powder in the WC, eh, wat? Know what I mean? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge….say no more….
  5. You won’t see that if it’s a trans-garter.
  6. Wait - was this from a great big fat snake?
  7. Well, maybe he was using a metaphor for Huntington County
  8. Woke complaining won’t bring back those cabins. They will be sold off by DOGE to better private businesses who can use them in a way for more efficient than the government ever could. I understand that Elon has had several bids - including one from the owner of a pizza place with a basement who wants to buy the cabins and turn it into “Don’t Tell Mommy Day Care”.
  9. ya see, this is where that political science degree comes in. It is top notch liberal arts training like that which allows me to see the incredibly nuanced differences in Putin and Trump‘s attempt to resolve the Ukrainian war problem
  10. Fox and Murdoch having to pay almost $1 billion because their accusations of election fraud were false would seem to indicate that any similar statements - made after that $$ settlement disclosure - is evidence of malice
  11. That is from my iPhone and our AI Overlords
  12. Looks like we are really close to a deal then, huh?
  13. It’s like he just faded away….
  14. yes, all of you summer-seasonal park related are screwed for the year. But while you may go out of business or lose your home - you can rest easy assured that a transgender person is not winning a youth canoe race anywhere on the lake - or using the wrong bathroom.
  15. Obviously, New Orleans does not need any completed flood control projects to help the city. It is far more important to find out who has tattoos on their knuckles and to send them out of the country than to have them complete our flood control project.
  16. Intellectual dishonesty. It’s his jam.
  17. He can’t know everything…
  18. You, too, can soon join that exciting hobby of hiring defense attorneys…
  19. “Don’t it always seem to go - that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone - They paved the tarmac nice, now it’s a large, scorched spot…”
  20. Was the driver a man? Maybe the Tesla is female - and it just assumed that the man knows that she’s not engaged when she doesn’t talk to him or give him the time of day for a while.
  21. Not gonna lie….the “boc boc boc” got me.
  22. Hey - baby - there ain’t no easy way out.
  23. We need Ramzan Kadyrov to die about right now and add a match to that Chechen lighter fluid.
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