Jump to content

bad_teammate

Certifiably Surly
  • Posts

    20310
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    9

Everything posted by bad_teammate

  1. Look, bud, they're just trying to get home to their families!!!!!
  2. I was walking next to him in the airport and shouting into my cellphone, "What's that, Coach Riley, you think Jordan Addison is gay and ugly and stupid? Well that's a terrible thing to say about Jordan Addison, Coach Riley of the USC Trojans! Both me and the rest of my friends who are Texas Longhorn fans think Jordan Addison is talented and destined for great things! I hope he never finds out you called him gay and said is mom was ugly, Coach Riley!" Fingers crossed.
  3. I'm sure he just left something behind. Needs to go pick it up before coming to Austin. I hate it when I forget stuff!
  4. Yeah but if he really wanted to come here he'd time travel.
  5. It doesn't matter where Addison goes. In this moment, he is a Longhorn. If he is a Crimson Tide (?) or a Trojan later, who cares? Right now, he is a Longhorn. Enjoy it. Drink alcohol. Eat chicken fried steak. Life is too short to be correct. To know people. To have connections. This is the way of the Sunshine Addict. Drunk and stupid is the ONLY way to go through life.
  6. Nancy Drews and the Case of Investigating Shit That Doesn't Need to be Investigated
  7. Especially when you're 5-7. If we can get a better QB than Ewers or a better RB than Bijan we need to be after it. We've got literally no laurels to rest on.
  8. "Hey I got a guy from TCU whose numbers aren't great and doesn't have a history of big numbers. And he's not going make our bad-to-mediocre defense actually turn a corner; it will still produce no excitement and mostly piss us off. Want to throw hundreds of thousands of your dollars at him!?" vs. "Hey, I got a Biletnikoff winner. Literal #1 in the nation at his position and basically a guaranteed first round draft pick to add firepower to an offense that already looks awesome. He'll make our superstar Worthy look even better and shore up the massive investment we made in Ewers. Want to throw hundreds of thousands of your dollars at him?!"
  9. Look, bud, this is very true but I don't operate on truth, I operate on hope and sunshine INFINITE POINTS INFINITE YARDS
  10. Worthy, Addison, Neyor Ewers B Robinson, K Robinson WHO NEEDS A DEFENSE!?!?!?
  11. We definitely SHOULD NOT have coaches whose personal lives have blown up in their faces. Like guys whose stripper girlfriend's monkey eats neighborhood kids or one who was regularly showing up drunk to work. Unthinkable at THIS institution of moral integrity and academic excellence. NIL changes everything! How and why? Well... uh.... I won't really bother to explain but I will say it with confidence and that should be enough!
  12. Quinn Ewers is the most important thing to happen to the program in a decade.
  13. Texas football in the last 7 years: 3 sub .500 seasons Urban Meyer's last 7 years of coaching.: 83-9 But the times are different. 2022 isn't anything like 2018. Just night and day. It's all lasers and holograms now.
  14. People responsible for underfunding the regulatory agency when the regulations aren't enforced...
  15. I don't even dislike Steve. I'm a sunshine pumper. I believe Steve can get us to 8 wins next year and I'm optimistic that (or better!) will happen. But even I, a massive idiot, can see the phrase ".854 over 17 seasons" and realize that's not some kind of accident, no matter how many times people say vague things like "NIL changed everything" or try to argue that Urban is simultaneously too strict AND too lenient. Regarding NIL, it's not just about kissing player ass. If you're a coach at an NIL-deal-rich school then you can hang the threat of processing out over their heads. It works both ways. There are guys getting pushed out of programs who will be losing money because the coaches didn't want them around anymore. With CUM at UT, it's "Play for one of the greats who puts guys in the NFL, make huge NIL money, and win a ton of games." Right now we have "Play for a .500 guy who doesn't put anyone in the NFL, make huge NIL money, and hope to win half your games." Oh no. We'd be screwed! The coaching fraternity in the state would hate us for it (they love us so much now!)! He would kick Xavier Worthy in the knee and key Bijan's Lambo! He would finger Plonsky's grand-daughter! I have zero hope we actually ever get Urban Meyer, one of the greatest CFB coaches of all time, but there's a difference between, "I'll never sleep with Salma Hayek" and "Actually, Salma Hayek is ugly and I wouldn't want to anyway."
  16. I didn't even think of that. Hell yes. @DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt - Winning, it scares us to death.
  17. Urban Meyer - .854 Steve Sarkisian - .548 "Oh but they sucked after he left!" I don't care. Just keep him longer, then. Or hug the trophies that he'd win for us while we find the next winning coach. Also, that was true of only 1 of his 4 head coaching stints. BG, Utah, and Ohio State were in fine shape when he left them. "NIL means star players will just leave because he's too mean but also he's too lenient.. uhh both?" Is he too mean or is he too lenient? Which is it? It's bullshit. He never had a problem of players transferring out because he was so mean/not mean enough, and we have 17 years of track record. ---- We are dogshit. We have finished below .500 3 times in the last 7 years. The idea that we should turn our nose up at a .854 all-time head coach because he flamed out with the godawful joke of a team in Jacksonville and finger-bangs chicks who aren't his wife is insane. Rest up, Urban. Fish, do some public relationships stunts with charities or whatever. Come up with some story about how Shelley sat you down and told you that you needed to return where you belonged, CFB.
  18. Absolutely. Let's do the full rehabilitation tour. Hire PR firms. Set him up with some kind of Cool Austin Preacher and take photos at the church. ESPN interview about lessons learned. Cooking show with Shelley. I'm all in. Do we get 10+ wins? Do I get to pet Bevo?
  19. "doners" "unmigrated disaster" what an idiot lol If #3 is true then we're being led by some astonishingly short-sighted morons. If Texas was in the playoffs every year donations would skyrocket regardless of how much donOr money went to NIL collectives and initiatives. JUST WIN GAMES AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE #4 is also stupid. There has literally never been "equity" for any donations to the University. You don't get to cash out later. What the hell does this even mean?
×
×
  • Create New...