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Aqua Buddha

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Everything posted by Aqua Buddha

  1. Liz Cheney will have a highly paid lobbyist job lined up along with a book deal. Don't cry for her. She's the same person who was against gay marriage and went to her sister's wedding.
  2. The game is only three people. Insert her into the decision and the equation may change.
  3. Jennifer is a very Gen-X name. No one named their daughters Jennifer before 1970 or after 1980 but in between, Jennifers everywhere. The game doesn't have to be people with the same name.
  4. Jennifer Lawrence — fuck. Seems like she’d be jolly good fun. Jennifer Connelly — marry. Duh. Jennifer Love Hewitt — date.
  5. (This is similar to Fuck, Marry, Kill, but I don't like the violence that implies and I'm a peace lover, after all.) The wife (no pics) and I were talking about Ben Affleck being double Jennifered but how he hasn't pulled off the Jennifer Hat Trick. We periodically play the Fuck, Marry, Date game so we decided play the Jennifer addition. So, fuck, marry, date -- Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, and Jennifer Anniston. My Jennifer ranking: Jennifer Anniston -- Date. Staggering amount of money and is a smoke show but her diet is insane and I like to eat and drink booze. Would make for a fascinating conversationalist, though. She's smart and has been in the industry 30 years. Prolly great insight and stories. Jennifer Garner -- Marry. Has enough money and from all indications, very normal and a nice person. Looks the same in person while Ben Affleck would look like a homeless person. Jennifer Lopez -- Fuck. You know she's great in the sack. Tons of money, though, which might move her into the marriage bucket but not for me. So, throw out your Jennifer ranking and/or throw out 3 random celebrities. (Think Buy or Sell on the football board.)
  6. There was a podcast a few years ago that predicted that very thing. I forget the name but it was something about a new civil war. I'd have to find out. One scenario they laid out was militant groups in Northern California cutting off the water supply. Also compared it to the Troubles in Ireland. While not a civil war with armies, it would be pockets of armed resistance and they pointed out the IRA was never really that big.
  7. So, is Anne Heche dead or alive? I mean, she has a heartbeat? Is taking her off life support murder?
  8. No mention of Steve Martin? That saga was a subplot in Bowfinger.
  9. If Trump “declassified” them, then Biden can just “reclassify” them, right?
  10. Baseball: We're a game of tradition Baseball: Let's built an entertainment district on the Field of Dreams site and have a hologram of Harry Carey.
  11. If you didn't choke up watching the intro then you're dead inside.
  12. The one night of the year I watch baseball. This is so awesome and they should have been doing it for the last 20 years.
  13. My wife (no pics) is a commercial/corporate architect. (Think large scale developments rather than houses for rich douche bags.) Anyway, she got recruited by CB back in like 2018. They wanted to update the design and the menu for Millenials. She wasn’t interested but they asked her opinion. She told them to change the name and basically burn the place to the ground. Their entire business model is selling a pornographic amount of food to rural olds for $10.
  14. We can only benefit if the Charlie Kirk incels can get some ass.
  15. From the great @atomheartbevo: Trump spent 2020 claiming the election would be rigged, then November and December of 2020, all of 2021, and all of 2022 (so far) talking about how the election was stolen, and yet thousands aren't gathering in Florida or at Trump Tower in NYC waiting for him to lead them into watering Patriot Trees(tm) with the blood of liberals or whatever. They talk a lot of shit, but at the end of the day, they go home to their double-wides or the poorly-constructed McMansions that still have many years to be paid off because they are living paycheck-to-paychekc, and he gets on the internet and look at porn or catch up on sports scores or look at videos of people doing stupid shit and getting hurt, or they watch the latest dad shows like Terminal List or Reacher or Jack Ryan and fantasize about being That Guy, while their kids yell and scream in the next room over who gets the iPad, and their wives are complaining about some family member, and they don't even realize their wives are fucking the lawn guy or the neighborhood lifeguard but he thinks maybe something is off because the lawn guy seems to mow the lawn 3-4 times a week when he's only paying for it to be mowed twice a week, and all he can do is fantasize about buying some lifted dually and getting a deer lease that they could drive to under the guise of "hunting" when in reality it's all just an excuse to get away from their families and co-workers and bosses, but they can't do that because too much money is being spent by family members on stupid shit they don't actually need, so instead they are stuck listening to their kids scream and whine, and their wives bitch about what their friends or other family members can afford to buy but why can't they have nice things like Edna, and they get angry, and they need somebody to blame, and so they start looking at social media, and it's Joe Biden's fault that gas prices went up a buck or two for a few months, but they are coming back down, but it doesn't matter, it's the librools fault that the extra $200 they spent on gas over the last two months meant they can't go on a fancy vacation to Mobile or Port Aransas (and that $200 doesn't really matter because we are talking about them leaving a day early). And they'll whine and amp themselves up on TexAgs or SECRant or Free Republic, and they'll tell themselves and others that if the election was stolen and therefore their manhood questioned, they should rise to the call and go storm the Capitol and restore Donald Fuckin' Trump to the White House, and they talk about all of the guns they have and how they'd use them to make the librools beg for mercy, and then they'll sit through a shitty dinner that is probably a warmed up frozen TV dinner, but they won't call their wife out on it because they know they'd be turbofucked without her because they don't know jack shit about their own household because they zone out when their spouse starts talking about bills or the new Jeep Cherokee she wants or whatever, and then later on they'll spend 20 minutes in a hot shower fantasizing about the weather forecaster on the local TV channel, and then they'll climb in bed hoping that their wife will be excited to feel him bump up against her back with his pathetically tiny 5.5-inch dick fully erect, meanwhile his wife is lying their eyes closed, legs closed like vise grips, praying that he'll get bored and go rub one out on the toilet with his phone and whatever porn site he looks at. And he does and gets back in bed that because that's the routine that's been established. And then he gets up and does it all again the next day. The thoughts of leading an insurrection that he had while reading TexAgs or SECRant or Free Republic vanish, because at the end of the day, as much as they are a pain in the ass, he doesn't want to subject his family to him being arrested and losing his job and he's scared of being in prison because he read too many posts by some Labo or Loba guy on some random Texas sports forum he came across, and he knows his life is utter shit, but his boy is named after him, and it wouldn't be right to leave him without a dad, because what if his wife married somebody like the lawn guy who has brown skin and barely speaks English, and plus he doesn't want to embarrass his own daddy or grandaddy by leaving his kids to be raised by somebody who is probably illegally here, but he's too afraid to turn him in because MS-13 would probably come to his house and rape his dogs and traffic his kids. And so he doesn't do jack shit, but he can't let the guys online know that.
  16. Never mind that he was a Trump appointee.
  17. He's also the head of an international crime syndicate but has dementia.
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