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Your movie/TV pet peeves


Parliament

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On 7/29/2019 at 11:21 AM, Goo Punch said:

oh yeah this one kills me as someone who's been on meds and in therapy his entire life- when a writer/director/whoever is in charge doesn't know the fucking difference in a psychiatrist and a therapist. pretty much every time i see them shooting for "therapist" they go a with a psychiatrist. you don't sit around a shrink's office for an hour talking about your life- that's a therapist. how the fuck does hollywood not know this by now?

Because you are wrong, as you so often are.

YOU don't see a Psychiatrist for therapy, because, let's face it, you are a broke-ass motherfucker.  As a child, you were probably going on your dad's insurance, and it probably wasn't a Cadillac plan.  You can't afford a $700/hr motherfucker with a MD degree from a top school, so you see some $75/hr mothefucker with a Masters from Tarleton State.

Wealthy people DO see a Psych for therapy quite often.  Not always, of course, but it happens, and it happens often. 

Howard Stern has been seeing a psychiatrist several times a week for decades.  He can afford to do so.   Hell, Tony Soprano saw Melfi for therapy, and she was a phych, and that shit was written by hollywood types.  And those guys...those producers, directors, writers...they see a psych for their therapy.  You ever see "Analyze This"?  Billy Crystal was a psych.  

Fuck, Melfi went to Elliott, for her therapy, and HE was a psych too. 

But sure, folks in lower tax brackets see the psych for a quick visit to tweak meds, often considering feedback from the therapist.  Just the way Blue Cross/Blue Shield wants it. 

You're in a somewhat shitty suburb of Austin.  You don't have a fucking clue how shit is done in NYC or L.A.  There aren't many movies about folks in Pville seeing a shrink. . 

 

Edited by Gil Bang
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Back to topic:  I've got 2

1) anything involving the middle east we get a muslim call to prayer over a loudspeaker

2) this one drive me bonkers:  A car that's supposedly been driven for hours spews condensation out of the tailpipe on a cold morning.  It's obvious that the car has just been started. 

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1 hour ago, Gil Bang said:

Because you are wrong, as you so often are.

YOU don't see a Psychiatrist for therapy, because, let's face it, you are a broke-ass motherfucker.  As a child, you were probably going on your dad's insurance, and it probably wasn't a Cadillac plan.  You can't afford a $700/hr motherfucker with a MD degree from a top school, so you see some $75/hr mothefucker with a Masters from Tarleton State.

Wealthy people DO see a Psych for therapy quite often.  Not always, of course, but it happens, and it happens often. 

Howard Stern has been seeing a psychiatrist several times a week for decades.  He can afford to do so.   Hell, Tony Soprano saw Melfi for therapy, and she was a phych, and that shit was written by hollywood types.  And those guys...those producers, directors, writers...they see a psych for their therapy.  You ever see "Analyze This"?  Billy Crystal was a psych.  

Fuck, Melfi went to Elliott, for her therapy, and HE was a psych too. 

But sure, folks in lower tax brackets see the psych for a quick visit to tweak meds, often considering feedback from the therapist.  Just the way Blue Cross/Blue Shield wants it. 

You're in a somewhat shitty suburb of Austin.  You don't have a fucking clue how shit is done in NYC or L.A.  There aren't many movies about folks in Pville seeing a shrink. . 

 

are the characters in the movies i'm referencing "hollywood types", or are they much closer to my demographic? oh it's the latter? characters in movies and the actors who play them aren't the same thing? great rant you obsessive fucking retard. 

Edited by Goo Punch
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47 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

Back to topic:  I've got 2

1) anything involving the middle east we get a muslim call to prayer over a loudspeaker

2) this one drive me bonkers:  A car that's supposedly been driven for hours spews condensation out of the tailpipe on a cold morning.  It's obvious that the car has just been started. 

that drives you bonkers? cars emitting condensation in the morning? okie silly dilly dokie o, you're an idiot.

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9 minutes ago, Goo Punch said:

are the characters in the movies i'm referencing "hollywood types", or are they much closer to my demographic? oh it's the latter? characters in movies and the actors who play them aren't the same thing? great rant you obsessive fucking retard. 

How many movies are about people like you, or "your demographic"?  Give examples of broke-ass motherfuckers like yourself that see psychiatrists in TV shows or movies.  

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17 minutes ago, Goo Punch said:

are the characters in the movies i'm referencing "hollywood types", or are they much closer to my demographic? oh it's the latter? characters in movies and the actors who play them aren't the same thing? great rant you obsessive fucking retard. 

here's what you wrote, dipshit:

oh yeah this one kills me as someone who's been on meds and in therapy his entire life- when a writer/director/whoever is in charge doesn't know the fucking difference in a psychiatrist and a therapist. pretty much every time i see them shooting for "therapist" they go a with a psychiatrist. you don't sit around a shrink's office for an hour talking about your life- that's a therapist. how the fuck does hollywood not know this by now?

So, which movies were you referencing?  

Nobody's making a movie about people like you, because there's nothing interesting about you. 

Edited by Gil Bang
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The climatic fight scene in almost every action movie.  Good guy and bad guy take multiple hay makers to the head and face, maybe a 2x4 upside the head and there's usually the smashing of heads against convenient anvils and shit like that...and no one gets knocked out for 10 minutes.  

It's obvious there has never been a Hollywood director who's actually thrown or been hit by a punch. 

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I forgot another big one about guns. Guns that the bolt or slide locks back on an empty magazine...click when they pull the trigger. Or multiple clicks. Yeah, even if your slide or bolt doesn't lock open after the last round or you hit the release to close it because you are an idiot it is only going to click once for most semiautomatic or automatic guns without cycling the action to reset the hammer/striker.

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When a character tells another character something to the effect of, "You look like shit."  And that person in question is still one of the ten most attractive people on the planet.  

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10 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

Back to topic:  I've got 2

1) anything involving the middle east we get a muslim call to prayer over a loudspeaker

2) this one drive me bonkers:  A car that's supposedly been driven for hours spews condensation out of the tailpipe on a cold morning.  It's obvious that the car has just been started. 

 

I go to Israel twice a year.  The muslim calls to prayer are constant.  They're the worst part of going.  

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2 hours ago, PilotsError said:

 

I go to Israel twice a year.  The muslim calls to prayer are constant.  They're the worst part of going.  

Yeah, spend any time in a muslim country and you will hear it so much it almost fades into the background after a while unless you are paying attention to it. Kinda like how I tune my kid out while doing other stuff.

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19 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

Someone drowns or otherwise receives a death blow. People try to resuscitate them and finally give up. After a dramatic pause, the dead person coughs up water (or a big gasp of air), sits up quickly and gasps a few more times, then they are fine as if they were just napping and nothing happened.

Oh god this. I hate this. 

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finding a parking spot is never any issue. movie characters in cars in heavily trafficked cities always seem to find a convenient parking spot right in front of where they're going.


Because people want to see movies where people drive around trying to find parking?
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Another car thing that bugs me, although you don't see it much anymore because column shift is a thing of the past. Face shot of a guy driving a car down the road and the gear shift is in park. At least put the damn thing in gear.

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When the town ‘doctor’ in the old west pulls a bullet out of someone, he’s always careful to place the slug gently in a stainless steel dish/pot.  Meanwhile, guy on table is bleeding out and doc keeps shoving his manure infested hands straight into the chest cavity.  But the round is okay everybody!   

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On 8/1/2019 at 6:27 AM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I forgot another big one about guns. Guns that the bolt or slide locks back on an empty magazine...click when they pull the trigger. Or multiple clicks. Yeah, even if your slide or bolt doesn't lock open after the last round or you hit the release to close it because you are an idiot it is only going to click once for most semiautomatic or automatic guns without cycling the action to reset the hammer/striker.

Yep.  Where to start that hasn't already been covered.

  • How about sparking bullets.  This is maddening.
  • Gasoline explosions from hand grenades.  JFC.  Except when the hero dives on one; saving everyone else.  No fire there apparently.  If you are in a building, it will launch you through the glass window 100% of the time.
  • Hiding behind car doors that take and stop in the impact of rifle rounds from passing through
  • The magical upper shoulder wound - where EVERY hero takes a round, that magically passes through missing the scapula and every other important part of their anatomy.
  • The use of every suppressor in every movie ever made in the history of ever.   Pew, pew, pew....
  • AR optics.  Guys, please - learn to attach them facing the proper direction.  I've seen so many on backwards I have to turn off the movie or walk out of the room.  
  • Or AR's minus the magazine
  • Or AR's in the middle of a fire-fight with the bolt locked back (looking at you Sicario)

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  • Spec Ops guys on deployment using 1990 telemarketer headsets to communicate with another
  • The infamous 1911 barrel press-check to validate it's loaded.  
  • Front-kicking a door in with your toes.  Have fun at the doc later
  • LE taking a guy down, even if the shooting is ruled righteous, not showing the WEEKS if not MONTHS of deliberation and review while they are often suspended, pending review
  • 2 guys entering a house with guns drawn.  Hey, I have a great idea - let's f-ing split up and try and clear rooms by ourselves

Or nonsense like this.  Anyone want to tell me what's wrong here...

af6416abbdc8173387f740300a4d4aab.jpg

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

finding a parking spot is never any issue. movie characters in cars in heavily trafficked cities always seem to find a convenient parking spot right in front of where they're going.

That bothers you? I’d prefer not to watch the main characters circle the block for ten minutes waiting for a spot to free up, but I’m willing to suspend a little disbelief to advance the story 

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18 minutes ago, Parliament said:

The crimp on that .50 case looks like it's actually a blank round.

We have a winner.  Not only is it obviously a blank (which we all know and understand for safety reasons).  But apparently their "technical director" didn't notice or bother to remove an obvious stovepipe that made it's way into the scene of a rifle that then kept firing.   

Quote

And don't go too hard on Sicario.  Give them credit for having the guys roll their windows down.  Few civilians now that a gun fired inside a closed vehicle would blow out all the window.

For sure.  Especially rifles.  But the whole movie was pretty bad.  Or the premise that the CIA needs a law-enforcement officer 'attached to them' in order to operate within American borders.  Not exactly true, but ok. 

The Juarez transfer with sed scene, all wearing plate carriers with no plates in them when in the field.  A snatch/grab on a HVT coordinating multiple agencies that doesn't account for border traffic?  

Bodies in the walls, because....what exactly?  You're in the middle of nowhere.  Find a shovel.  

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14 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:

 


Because people want to see movies where people drive around trying to find parking?

 

 

30 minutes ago, Pig Bellmont said:

That bothers you? I’d prefer not to watch the main characters circle the block for ten minutes waiting for a spot to free up, but I’m willing to suspend a little disbelief to advance the story 

It bothers me because it's lazy writing.  Either factor into the script the realistic possibility that parking will be a pain in the ass, or just cut that scene of characters finding the perfect parking space at a busy location.

But yeah, there are numerous times I'm watching something and say "of course" when the characters pull up to a restaurant on Sunset Blvd. and find a parking spot right in front.  Again, it's lazy writing.  I don't dwell on it, but it's still a pet peeve to me.

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58 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

We have a winner.  Not only is it obviously a blank (which we all know and understand for safety reasons).  But apparently their "technical director" didn't notice or bother to remove an obvious stovepipe that made it's way into the scene of a rifle that then kept firing.   

For sure.  Especially rifles.  But the whole movie was pretty bad.  Or the premise that the CIA needs a law-enforcement officer 'attached to them' in order to operate within American borders.  Not exactly true, but ok. 

The Juarez transfer with sed scene, all wearing plate carriers with no plates in them when in the field.  A snatch/grab on a HVT coordinating multiple agencies that doesn't account for border traffic?  

Bodies in the walls, because....what exactly?  You're in the middle of nowhere.  Find a shovel.  

You obviously know this stuff better than me.  I thought Sicario was awesome, and they at least "hid" those gun problems well.  Like the fact Del Toro "magically" transitions between 2 distinct MP5's in that border scene.  They had 2 different guns that he switched between in differnt takes.

What about at the end.  Del Toro's character "patrols" the rich asshole's house with a USP, when he has a perfectly good MP5SD right there.  Dumb.

But let's give credit where its due.  13 Hours and American Sniper were almost perfect.  I saw a magazine article about 13 Hours where they said the directors had to purposely change things so as not to give away certain tactics.  (They woulda made it TOO accurate.)  Pretty cool there.

Can we move past all that know, and remember I covered all the gun inaccuracies in my OP?  Otherwise we'll be here all day.

Here are some more non-gun related, but close in spirit:

Wearing body armor way too low.  I'm looking at you, Vic Mackey:

the-shield.jpg

They armor needs to come up to the top of your sternum.  In that pic it hardly protects his heart.

 

Soft armor stopping rifle rounds.  You need plates for that.

Soldiers removing helmets all the time.  

Soldiers with their helmets unbuckled.

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4 minutes ago, Parliament said:

But let's give credit where its due.  13 Hours and American Sniper were almost perfect.  I saw a magazine article about 13 Hours where they said the directors had to purposely change things so as not to give away certain tactics.  (They woulda made it TOO accurate.)  Pretty cool there.

Uuuh, yeah, well.  OK take American Sniper.  Our best sniper, operating in an urban, sunny environment....minus a scope cover to block reflections from his optics (Sunshade or killflash)?  Or perhaps the biggest boo-boo is all American films involving Russian snipers.  The SVD.  People, please...it's not a sniper rifle.  It's a squad support rifle with a shitty little x4 scope.  Can we put this one to bed please

dragunov_sniper_rifle_svd_3d_model_c4d_m

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Uuuh, yeah, well.  OK take American Sniper.  Our best sniper, operating in an urban, sunny environment....minus a scope cover to block reflections from his optics (Sunshade or killflash)?  Or perhaps the biggest boo-boo is all American films involving Russian snipers.  The SVD.  People, please...it's not a sniper rifle.  It's a squad support rifle with a shitty little x4 scope.  Can we put this one to bed please
dragunov_sniper_rifle_svd_3d_model_c4d_max_obj_fbx_ma_lwo_3ds_3dm_stl_2126419_o.jpg
OK. Let us follow the request of the OP and not talk any more guns.
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22 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

finding a parking spot is never any issue. movie characters in cars in heavily trafficked cities always seem to find a convenient parking spot right in front of where they're going.

this was going to be my #1..

#1 parking available right in front of every establish, no long walk to a popular place.

#2 Cars always exploding into a fireball when crashing.

#3 Fucking with a bra on. Come one, man.

#4 The phrase "let's get outta here". Does it have to be in every single movie?

#5 the number 555 when giving out a phone number.. yeah, i get it, but it takes me out of the movie each time.

#6 sex scenes that begin with the man seeming two seconds away from beating the shit out of the women to turning on a dime to passionate consensual lovemaking 2 seconds later.

#7 a gun that jams allowing the hero to get away.

#8 foot, leg, and arm injuries that miraculously heal. no discernible discomfort or inability to use the affected limb at all 5 seconds after, 5 minutes after, 5 hours after, or 5 days after.

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To point #3, sex with the bra on is pretty much only way to have sex during breastfeeding.  They need the support, they don’t want you licking all around where baby is gonna feed thirty minutes later, and while the sex is fun with the big jugs, they don’t want your ejaculate on the sensitive area so it solves a lot of issues.  Used to bother me, but nowadays it’s mean she’s down to clown. 

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To point #3, sex with the bra on is pretty much only way to have sex during breastfeeding.  They need the support, they don’t want you licking all around where baby is gonna feed thirty minutes later, and while the sex is fun with the big jugs, they don’t want your ejaculate on the sensitive area so it solves a lot of issues.  Used to bother me, but nowadays it’s mean she’s down to clown. 
Your mom likes it when we do all those things.
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17 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:

 


The majority of tv show weddings are presided by main characters who got internet licenses. In tv sitcoms, the name of the licensure is part of the joke. Its tired.

 

Happens in real life, too, quite a bit. That’s why I asked.

Didn’t see it as a regular TV gag. Must not be watching the same shows. 

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Ending a tv season on a cliffhanger.   There's no guarantee you'll be back next season and many shows have been completely ruined for me by ending without a conclusion to a story arch.   I'm looking at you "The Riches."

End each season like it's the series finale the way God intended.   It's been several years since I watched but I think "The Wire" did this well. 

 

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