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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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On 1/17/2022 at 3:08 PM, Frank The Tank said:

It’s like we’re playing a game of chicken to see who can leave the least amount of toilet paper left on the roll, and if you change the roll you lose. Except, she’s the only one playing and I always lose. 

This is why when our son went off to college I completely moved out of the bathroom attached to our bedroom and into the other bathroom. Now we each manage our own shit. Sometimes literally

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On 1/22/2022 at 11:11 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

Oh, there are many levels of wrong in that picture. Forget the concept of “bacon scraps” and how that’s a thing, or why anyone would put hardboiled eggs back in the carton let alone egg shells. And let’s forget the question of whether or not the egg shells were placed in the carton at the same time as the hardboiled eggs and why eggs might have been prepared two different ways at the same time, some not to be consumed. I want to know about the egg shells. Were two eggs cracked and only 3/4 of the shells saved? Or were three eggs cracked and only 1/2 of each shell saved?

Okay, I can’t forget the whole “bacon scraps” thing. Go buy a package of bacon and fry the whole damn thing. I snack on more bacon than what is shown while I’m frying bacon and eat more with my eggs when it’s all done. Whatever’s left I keep in a plastic bag in the fridge and it can be heated up in the microwave in about 40 seconds. 

How in the hell does someone wind up with bacon "scraps"?

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1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

You can buy bags of them. Works pretty good for cooking if you need bacon for other dishes. 

Fine, but why not cook them all at once? I can’t comprehend looking at a paltry amount like that left in the bag and thinking to myself, “I think I’ll save these few scraps and cook them later.” That’s the equivalent of...what...1 1/2 strips of bacon?

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On 1/23/2022 at 12:25 PM, Kennythetiger said:

You can buy bags of them. Works pretty good for cooking if you need bacon for other dishes. 

Yep.  I like to get bacon scraps as well to use in green beans and to make bacon bits for potato soup and baked potatoes.   I'll buy a bag of them every now and then and vacuum pack/freeze them in 'as needed' portions.    

Edited by Trey3216
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this may be more about getting old than wife shit.

my wife bought this little 1qt sauce pan a while back.  no lid.  cool, whatever.  nice pot.  sees plenty of use.  but this is at least the third time we've had some version of this exchange.

Wife:  where's the lid to this pot?

Me:  dunno.  never had one, far as I know.  I assumed you picked it up at TJ Maxx or someplace and it didn't come with one.

W:  I got it at Tuesday Morning

M:  there you go.  I figure that's why it didn't have a lid and didn't want to get my lid bitten off for asking about it.

W:  turd

M:  see?

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12 hours ago, Ten Bears said:

I'm no Fluid Dynamics expert but you can just spin an egg to see if it is boiled.  Spin = boiled. Won't spin = raw.

I was going to post that. But then I thought, how about not boiling eggs and putting them back in the carton? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to take eggs out of the carton and spin them first before cracking them in order to make sure I’m not getting a boiled egg. 

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8 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I was going to post that. But then I thought, how about not boiling eggs and putting them back in the carton? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to take eggs out of the carton and spin them first before cracking them in order to make sure I’m not getting a boiled egg. 

Animated GIF

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14 hours ago, wd40 said:

this may be more about getting old than wife shit.

my wife bought this little 1qt sauce pan a while back.  no lid.  cool, whatever.  nice pot.  sees plenty of use.  but this is at least the third time we've had some version of this exchange.

Wife:  where's the lid to this pot?

Me:  dunno.  never had one, far as I know.  I assumed you picked it up at TJ Maxx or someplace and it didn't come with one.

W:  I got it at Tuesday Morning

M:  there you go.  I figure that's why it didn't have a lid and didn't want to get my lid bitten off for asking about it.

W:  turd

M:  see?

Silicone lids for pots and pans. If she keeps bring lidless ones home then it don't make a shit because you got lids for 'em. Be a hero not a turd.

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On 1/22/2022 at 11:11 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

Oh, there are many levels of wrong in that picture. Forget the concept of “bacon scraps” and how that’s a thing, or why anyone would put hardboiled eggs back in the carton let alone egg shells. And let’s forget the question of whether or not the egg shells were placed in the carton at the same time as the hardboiled eggs and why eggs might have been prepared two different ways at the same time, some not to be consumed. I want to know about the egg shells. Were two eggs cracked and only 3/4 of the shells saved? Or were three eggs cracked and only 1/2 of each shell saved?

Okay, I can’t forget the whole “bacon scraps” thing. Go buy a package of bacon and fry the whole damn thing. I snack on more bacon than what is shown while I’m frying bacon and eat more with my eggs when it’s all done. Whatever’s left I keep in a plastic bag in the fridge and it can be heated up in the microwave in about 40 seconds. 

What do you mean by left over bacon????

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9 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

Silicone lids for pots and pans. If she keeps bring lidless ones home then it don't make a shit because you got lids for 'em. Be a hero not a turd.

already got 87 lids, we don't use.  she found one that fit, so crisis averted for her lemon ginger tea. don't need any more lids, thanks.  besides, my wife and daughter had a 10 minute conversation at the dinner table this week about which hair conditioner to use that didn't have parabens(?) or silicone or whatever other toxins in it.  pretty sure suggesting silicone pot lids would be met with more fecal epithets.

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On 1/28/2022 at 8:44 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

I was going to post that. But then I thought, how about not boiling eggs and putting them back in the carton? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to take eggs out of the carton and spin them first before cracking them in order to make sure I’m not getting a boiled egg. 

I dunno. I'm kinda pondering the idea of just randomly boiling an egg every now and then and putting it back just to see if she catches on.

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43 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

“I was pulling into the gate this afternoon and brushed up against the post and scratched my car.”

5328D174-2CBA-4C83-B60C-E2DB4DBD0DF1.thumb.jpeg.695a02d3afe39149730081dce11ebf5d.jpeg

7A64AC09-192E-4FEE-9135-6CB17179AB03.jpeg.33ae2cd29fb2e5e3d961508ff5f27e63.jpeg

 

Here is what the view from that camera looks like normally when someone drives in:

3802667E-FF4B-499C-AD7C-A7F0E179EAA4.jpeg.4c5adca009e4981c364e646fc975c4c2.jpeg

What really happened is she was too lazy to open the gate all the way and thought she could drive around it and squeeze through the gap. 

Prepare thy anus.

 

mine scraped the side of the single hole garage with the 3 week old suburban she had to have during the great car shortage of 21

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1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

Prepare thy anus.

 

mine scraped the side of the single hole garage with the 3 week old suburban she had to have during the great car shortage of 21

This isn’t the first time Mrs CL has beat up her car. She regularly has banged into the side of the garage and scraped curbs and shopping carts and poles. You’d think she’d take better care of a $70,000 German SUV. I guess I should count my blessings that she hasn’t hit another car yet. 

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5 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

“I was pulling into the gate this afternoon and brushed up against the post and scratched my car.”

5328D174-2CBA-4C83-B60C-E2DB4DBD0DF1.thumb.jpeg.695a02d3afe39149730081dce11ebf5d.jpeg

7A64AC09-192E-4FEE-9135-6CB17179AB03.jpeg.33ae2cd29fb2e5e3d961508ff5f27e63.jpeg

 

Here is what the view from that camera looks like normally when someone drives in:

3802667E-FF4B-499C-AD7C-A7F0E179EAA4.jpeg.4c5adca009e4981c364e646fc975c4c2.jpeg

What really happened is she was too lazy to open the gate all the way and thought she could drive around it and squeeze through the gap. 

That'll buff right out 

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Years ago my wife backed out of the driveway and into my F150. It was dark outside, so it was my fault.. I had foolishly purchased a truck that was navy 2 years earlier and parked it in the same spot I always park it in.  Apparently when you have a navy truck, it blends into the night like the Predator blends into the jungle. 

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