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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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Watching my wife struggle with one string of solar lights in a tree in our backyard really has me questioning everything about her degree. This included a question about the battery source being rechargable or not. My response of “it’s solar” may not have been received as well as you would think.

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2 hours ago, Mac8111 said:

Watching my wife struggle with one string of solar lights in a tree in our backyard really has me questioning everything about her degree. This included a question about the battery source being rechargable or not. My response of “it’s solar” may not have been received as well as you would think.

Surprising. 

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On 1/27/2021 at 3:52 PM, HiggyBaby said:


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I'm seeing her with the idea this would work awesome amazing to clean your cee-ment swimmin' hole & just gonna dump the whole bag in there 'cause only 1 scoop for a complete thing of laundry, so doing the math, the whole bag oughta get the pool done up jusssst right.

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On 1/27/2021 at 3:52 PM, HiggyBaby said:

Her: “My friends gave me a sample of this laundry soap she swears by. It worked great so she gave us the whole box to try.... what’s Amway anyway?”

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In your wife’s defense, I am still cooking with stainless steel Amway pots that my mom had when I was a kid. They’re at least 30 years old. 

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On 4/19/2018 at 4:52 PM, Enchubben said:

I’ll also add this gem from right before Harvey last year:

my wife decides we need extra ice, but all the convenience and grocery stores are out. No problem, she decides to fill zip loc bags with water and put in the freezer to create ice before power potentially goes out. (Power doesn’t go out thankfully) She places them on the shelf so when they froze they froze around the wire shelf. 

Two days later I come back home from helping out some people in the neighborhood and she has decided to try and remove the ice bags from the freezer shelf on her own. She had the freezer door open with blow dryer in her hand and was trying to heat the ice bags in the freezer until they melted and could be removed. 

I repeat she is sitting with the freezer door open blowing a hair dryer into the freezer waiting for them to melt.

I actually had to take a hair dryer to my freezer as well for good reason.  Lost electrical power to the house.  The ice maker thawed and then re-froze.  This created a block of ice that essentially connected my ice maker to the external dispenser that was several inches thick.  Could not open the door more than about an inch.  I could not get anything in there to chip the ice away and I was afraid I was going to rip the guts out of the ice maker and dispenser as I tugged on the door.  I did not have the patience to let it thaw so I got the hairdryer out and knocked it out rather quickly.

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1 hour ago, mininghorn88 said:

I actually had to take a hair dryer to my freezer as well for good reason.  Lost electrical power to the house.  The ice maker thawed and then re-froze.  This created a block of ice that essentially connected my ice maker to the external dispenser that was several inches thick.  Could not open the door more than about an inch.  I could not get anything in there to chip the ice away and I was afraid I was going to rip the guts out of the ice maker and dispenser as I tugged on the door.  I did not have the patience to let it thaw so I got the hairdryer out and knocked it out rather quickly.

Did your husband make fun of you for it as well?

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Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

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2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

The divorce thread is that way ——>

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2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

Well today is National Eat Ice Cream for breakfast day. 

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5 hours ago, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

Sounds kinky. 

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I told her to wash the couch cushion covers, her dog made them filthy. Usually our dog but her dog when he’s a terror (rarely happens but dirty couch cushions count) or if we break up.  So she put the cushion covers in the dryer and added detergent.  She dried the cushion covers for over an hour.  She opened the dryer and was shocked when nothing was damp and powder detergent was everywhere. Came and told me. I couldn’t believe it.

She left and came back to show me how easy it was to be confused between the washer and the dryer. “I put it on the bedding setting.” And with a grin, “ah-ha” she said as she patted my cheek with her hand.   I just looked at her.  I shoulda said I agree, it’s easy to be confused, they both have dials, buttons and knobs. 


 

 

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On 2/6/2021 at 9:58 AM, Nivek said:

Never fails. I decided to sleep in the guest room last night because there were 2 kids in sharing the bed last night. Apparently the happy husband alert went off in her head and so she felt the need to walk into the guest room and start talking about random shit. Comes back in later to ask questions. Comes back and turns on the light. Then sends in the little girl to make sure I get up.

House is shit. Kids are eating ice cream for breakfast.

I sit down to eat some food I made and tell my wife I need to run an errand after a shower. She tells how she has been waiting hours for me to get up so she can eat, take a shower and run an errand.

My amazing errand is to pick up new glasses since my other ones were used to test Moh’s hardness scale by my 4 yr old.

You sound like an insensitive bastard.

On 2/6/2021 at 12:36 PM, Mo Horn said:

Well today is National Eat Ice Cream for breakfast day. 

I thought you were kidding. Jfc.

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I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

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2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

TF you running a space heater in San Diego for?

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2 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

I’m still working from home.  During my daily stand-up call today, I abruptly lose internet connectivity.  We’ve got very reliable internet here in the burbs of San Diego, so this is pretty unusual.   
 

Any guesses as to the cause?

 

 

 

If you guessed running a hair dryer and space heater on the same outlet at the same time causing the breaker to trip and taking the router offline, you are today’s big winner.  

I was going to ask how the hell your router would be on the same circuit that your bathroom (?) is on, but having recently had to play circuit hide and seek to install a ring doorbell, I won’t question it

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4 minutes ago, Frank The Tank said:

And hair dryers aren’t necessarily confined to the bathroom. I’m pretty sure there are 4 stashed in various rooms throughout my house. 

My wifes sits on the floor next to our bedroom door. Except when I’m using it to defrost a frozen-over ice maker, of course.

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Her little vanity corner unit is on the circuit for our master bedroom, which is also where the router is located.  I don’t recall our reasons for having put the main cable entry into the MBR 15 years ago.   
 

My wife would “need” a space heater no matter where we lived.  It’s fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.   

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2 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Her little vanity corner unit is on the circuit for our master bedroom, which is also where the router is located.  I don’t recall our reasons for having put the main cable entry into the MBR 15 years ago.   
 

My wife would “need” a space heater no matter where we lived.  It’s fool that looks for logic in the chambers of a woman's heart.   

FIFY

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