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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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Not trivial.  At least half the time, my garbagemen only take the top bag out of the can instead of actually emptying the whole thing.  Look, I know that job sucks, but you even have a fucking robot arm that will empty it for you.  I now have a bag of dog shit that's been sitting at the bottom of the can for the past two weeks and now will be at least another week.

Edited by Biff Tannen
and I don't mean a singular poo bag. I mean an HEB plastic bag full of dog shit from when I cleaned up my backyard
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Not trivial.  At least half the time, my garbagemen only take the top bag out of the can instead of actually emptying the whole thing.  Look, I know that job sucks, but you even have a fucking robot arm that will empty it for you.  I now have a bag of dog shit that's been sitting at the bottom of the can for the past two weeks and now will be at least another week.
Go throw it on your neighbor's porch.
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7 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:
7 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:
Not trivial.  At least half the time, my garbagemen only take the top bag out of the can instead of actually emptying the whole thing.  Look, I know that job sucks, but you even have a fucking robot arm that will empty it for you.  I now have a bag of dog shit that's been sitting at the bottom of the can for the past two weeks and now will be at least another week.

Go throw it on your neighbor's porch.

And light on fire.

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I’m in a parking space with a pedo van between me and the store, so I can’t see past it. I’m backing out slowly, checking over my shoulder and the backup camera when some fucking soy boy - staring at his smart phone - appears from behind the pedo van, walking so close to the back of the van that he doesn’t even show up in my backup camera. He doesn’t see my backup lights, brake lights, or moving vehicle because he’s in a hypnotic trance, totally unaware that I was about to hit him. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
Punctuation. Not a trivial thing.
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12 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I’m in a parking space with a pedo van between me and the store, so I can’t see past it. I’m backing out slowly checking over my shoulder and the backup camera when some fucking soy boy - staring at his smart phone - appears from behind the pedo van, walking so close to the back of the van that he doesn’t even show up in my backup camera. He doesn’t see my backup lights, brake lights, or moving vehicle because he’s in a hypnotic trance, totally unaware that I was about to hit him. 

Yeah, anyone who's staring at their phone while they're walking, completely unaware of their surrounds deserves to be run over.

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2 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I meant more about the word prescriptivists, I didn't know prescription drug addiction caused grammar problems. 

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prescriptivist

english, as a peasant language developed while the nobility were speaking french, is inherently anti-prescriptivist. 

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people who camp in the left hand lane

people who don't decide to get over to the right until i've decided i'm done waiting on their dumb ass to move over so i've moved right and now i'm stuck behind them and the other slow ass in the left hand lane

people who pull out from the right hand lane to get around marginally slower traffic and they themselves aren't even going the speed limit and not making any effort to do so

people who vary speed for no fucking reason.  cruise control, use it.

people who light up their brakes for no fucking reason.  500 feet of clear pavement in front of you?  better tap them brakes. 

people who slowly pass traffic while in the left lane, especially those who immediately start going another 5+ faster once they do pass and move right.  why didn't you go 80 the whole time?

 

Edited by elfenix
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3 hours ago, elfenix said:

people who camp in the left hand lane

people who don't decide to get over to the right until i've decided i'm done waiting on their dumb ass to move over so i've moved right and now i'm stuck behind them and the other slow ass in the left hand lane

people who pull out from the right hand lane to get around marginally slower traffic and they themselves aren't even going the speed limit and not making any effort to do so

people who vary speed for no fucking reason.  cruise control, use it.

people who light up their brakes for no fucking reason.  500 feet of clear pavement in front of you?  better tap them brakes. 

people who slowly pass traffic while in the left lane, especially those who immediately start going another 5+ faster once they do pass and move right.  why didn't you go 80 the whole time?

 

All of these. With emphasis on all.

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On 11/24/2022 at 5:18 PM, elfenix said:

people who camp in the left hand lane

people who don't decide to get over to the right until i've decided i'm done waiting on their dumb ass to move over so i've moved right and now i'm stuck behind them and the other slow ass in the left hand lane

people who pull out from the right hand lane to get around marginally slower traffic and they themselves aren't even going the speed limit and not making any effort to do so

people who vary speed for no fucking reason.  cruise control, use it.

people who light up their brakes for no fucking reason.  500 feet of clear pavement in front of you?  better tap them brakes. 

people who slowly pass traffic while in the left lane, especially those who immediately start going another 5+ faster once they do pass and move right.  why didn't you go 80 the whole time?

 

I feel like you might be my sock...

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people who camp in the left hand lane
people who don't decide to get over to the right until i've decided i'm done waiting on their dumb ass to move over so i've moved right and now i'm stuck behind them and the other slow ass in the left hand lane
people who pull out from the right hand lane to get around marginally slower traffic and they themselves aren't even going the speed limit and not making any effort to do so
people who vary speed for no fucking reason.  cruise control, use it.
people who light up their brakes for no fucking reason.  500 feet of clear pavement in front of you?  better tap them brakes. 
people who slowly pass traffic while in the left lane, especially those who immediately start going another 5+ faster once they do pass and move right.  why didn't you go 80 the whole time?
 

Agree with everything. I’d also like to add the holier than thou left lane is for passing only drivers on my cities Reddit page. Fargo is big enough to have 6 lanes on both of the interstates that run through the city. I do 95% of my driving in the far left because posted speed limits are 55 mph and traffic is just heavy enough just stay there and pass people. but not for the perfect Reddit drivers who think after you pass someone you need to get back to the center lane until youre ready to pass someone again.
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Agree with everything. I’d also like to add the holier than thou left lane is for passing only drivers on my cities Reddit page. Fargo is big enough to have 6 lanes on both of the interstates that run through the city. I do 95% of my driving in the far left because posted speed limits are 55 mph and traffic is just heavy enough just stay there and pass people. but not for the perfect Reddit drivers who think after you pass someone you need to get back to the center lane until youre ready to pass someone again.
Middle right is my go to lane if I'm not exiting for awhile. Don't have to deal with the merging and exiting, I stay away from the exit only lanes and my speed fits perfect. I stay away from the left lanes unless I'm passing and then get back over.
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I’d agree Vic but DFW has about 10000 more interstate miles than Fargo so it’s different here. Right lane is dealing with exiters and on ramps, Middle is mostly 55-60, I got about 65 so that’s why I camp in the left lane usually. From one end of town to the other is 15-20 miles so it’s much smaller than most metros that’ll have 8+ lanes

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20 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I’d agree Vic but DFW has about 10000 more interstate miles than Fargo so it’s different here. Right lane is dealing with exiters and on ramps, Middle is mostly 55-60, I got about 65 so that’s why I camp in the left lane usually. From one end of town to the other is 15-20 miles so it’s much smaller than most metros that’ll have 8+ lanes

DFW left lane camper too, as long as I'm consistently passing a slew of slow movers

However I'm a very courteous, sensible left lane camper

If I see a vehicle in rearview, who's obviously going faster than me, I move over well in advance and allow them to pass.......then move back to the left and carry-on

Too many slow driving dicks playing left lane cops here in FW

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22 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

I made the drive up 35 from Austin to Dallas and holy shit the Buccees billboards every other mile on both sides are a beating.

Did the drive from Temple to Ft Worth this morning.  I actually texted my wife and said Buc ee’s is giving the casinos between Lake Charles and Houston a run for their money on monopolizing billboards. Holy crap how could you not know that Bucees exists?

Edited by slorch
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On 11/26/2022 at 5:35 AM, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Agree with everything. I’d also like to add the holier than thou left lane is for passing only drivers on my cities Reddit page. Fargo is big enough to have 6 lanes on both of the interstates that run through the city. I do 95% of my driving in the far left because posted speed limits are 55 mph and traffic is just heavy enough just stay there and pass people. but not for the perfect Reddit drivers who think after you pass someone you need to get back to the center lane until youre ready to pass someone again.

those rules are for driving on two lane interstateish roads out in the sticks.  in the city i have some modified rules that also include don't camp in the right hand lane(s) blocking people trying to get on/off the highway.   around houston there's a couple of persistent traffic jams in the right several lanes simply because people won't move left to allow cars merge onto the highway (looking at you I-10 eastbound at the top of the ramp from bunker hill)

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On 11/27/2022 at 2:01 PM, slorch said:

Did the drive from Temple to Ft Worth this morning.  I actually texted my wife and said Buc ee’s is giving the casinos between Lake Charles and Houston a run for their money on monopolizing billboards. Holy crap how could you not know that Bucees exists?

It works though, all those ones just south of Dallas on I35 saying Buccees 74 miles, Buccees 73 miles, Buccees 72 miles had us googling to figure out which one they were talking about. Best guess was Fort Worth or Terrell. Denton and Melissa a little too far. 

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On 11/27/2022 at 1:50 PM, former alkie said:

DFW left lane camper too, as long as I'm consistently passing a slew of slow movers

However I'm a very courteous, sensible left lane camper

If I see a vehicle in rearview, who's obviously going faster than me, I move over well in advance and allow them to pass.......then move back to the left and carry-on

Too many slow driving dicks playing left lane cops here in FW

This is the way. Keep an eye on the rear view just in case someone if going faster than me and move over as needed. I prefer not having to watch both sides when possible for jacakasses merging into me.

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