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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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21 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:

Christmas commercials that are still shown after Christmas Day.

Or played on the radio. There's one from a local auto dealer that is so obnoxious and preachy that I either change the channel or turn off the radio. I just heard it again today. I would never buy a car from that asshole. 

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8 hours ago, Richard Kimball said:

What is it with Austin drivers and wanting to sit in your blind spot? Made a trip down to Austin today. Driving down MoPac, not too crowded, need to change lanes. Look back, guy in my blind spot. Speed up to create some space so I don't cut him off. He speeds up. Okay, asshole, you don't want me in front of you. Slow down to slide in behind him. He slows down and stays on my quarter panel. What the hell, dude? I've varied speed by 20 mph to get you off my quarter panel and you're still hanging on there like I'm your lead blocker on a sweep. Finally, floorboard and get enough space before he can react, and change lanes. Yes, I used the turn signal.

MoPac has to have the goofiest drivers anywhere. So many people texting, eating something, and drinking coffee while they drive down the road. 

Austin driving is a reflection of the demographic...we have a mix of bad driving habits from all over.

 

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15 hours ago, mdmost said:

Or wear a jersey to a sporting event.

I wear one to the OU game because my crew has been doing it for about 30 years.  I feel like an idoit when I'm putting it on, but a few wax cup beers disables my "give a shitter" pretty soon after that.

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I've enjoyed Harry's razor blades.  Not the best in the world, but good value for the quality.  And right to your door, usually with a little extra bonus like shave balm or extra handle or whatever.  

But what the fuck with that plastic connector piece?  I tap the thing a bit in the shower or sink to get some of the hairs/shave balm out from between the razors.  I don't slam it or shove it.  But a anything more than a whisper tap and the fucking blade goes flying across the bathroom or shower.  What the fuck?  I've brought it up to them many times.  They send out a few extra blades as an apology.  But they claim, "our blades are so precision, just a quick rinse will get everything out."  Well, it doesn't.  Unless I'm using a pressure washer.  A man should be able to tap his razor a couple of times lightly to get out the debris before the next beard pass.  But those things just fly off and end up across the way.  Quite dissapointing.  I think they know it's an issue though, so hopefully a solution is in the works. 

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Disney has an interesting policy at their live events.  Nobody over 14 can wear a princess/character costume.  It's intended to be a safeguard so the children don't get confused, Disney gets to maintain creative control, and the little ones can still dress up and have a fun time.  I used to think this policy should be extended to sporting events.  Then I see the men who wear these jerseys.  Nobody is going to confuse them for a human being with dignity, let alone a professional athlete.  

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I have three....

 

1.  On interstates when semis get in the left lane AT ALL.   They should never be allowed over there.   I dont care if Aunt Ethel is doing 42 in her 87 Caprice or Trucker Bob hauling a load in his Peterbilt is only doing 64.   Fuck those guys for ever being in the left lane.  

2.  Traffic lights in DC.   I spent like 5 minutes trying to get around DuPont Circle because every light goes red once you're actually in the roundabout. 

3.  What the fuck is up with traffic going back into the DC area in the afternoon?   I left Norfolk at 11:30 on Thursday.   finally got to my hotel in Old Towne Alexandria just before 4.   WTF?

 

 

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28 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

I have three....

 

1.  On interstates when semis get in the left lane AT ALL.   They should never be allowed over there.   I dont care if Aunt Ethel is doing 42 in her 87 Caprice or Trucker Bob hauling a load in his Peterbilt is only doing 64.   Fuck those guys for ever being in the left lane.  

2.  Traffic lights in DC.   I spent like 5 minutes trying to get around DuPont Circle because every light goes red once you're actually in the roundabout. 

3.  What the fuck is up with traffic going back into the DC area in the afternoon?   I left Norfolk at 11:30 on Thursday.   finally got to my hotel in Old Towne Alexandria just before 4.   WTF?

 

 

DC traffic lights are purposely timed to STOP traffic.  Fuck the environmental benefits of keeping traffic moving, fuck the frustration everyone who has to use a car here has, and fuck you for going against the wishes of the gestapo jackass bitch who came up with the system to try to push people into using the completely unrelaible Metro system.  They are about to ban right on red citywide as well.  They purposely do everything they can to fuck over drivers here.  Be sure to check your mailbox when you get home to see how many photo speeding violations you received in places where you can easily go 45 but the speed limit is 25.

 

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29 minutes ago, PhillyD said:

DC traffic lights are purposely timed to STOP traffic.  Fuck the environmental benefits of keeping traffic moving, fuck the frustration everyone who has to use a car here has, and fuck you for going against the wishes of the gestapo jackass bitch who came up with the system to try to push people into using the completely unrelaible Metro system.  They are about to ban right on red citywide as well.  They purposely do everything they can to fuck over drivers here.  Be sure to check your mailbox when you get home to see how many photo speeding violations you received in places where you can easily go 45 but the speed limit is 25.

 

Agree on how many "No right on Red" there are.  and those all say "When pedestrians are present.   yeah.    But there's no way I did anything over 20 the whole time I was on the DC side of the Potomac. 

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Sex and the city reruns. My wife severely sprained her ankle on Christmas night and has been laid up in bed binge watching that show for 4 days.

This morning I snapped. Told her that the blonde bas a billowy vagina and belongs in sex addiction treatment, that horseface needs a good throat punch, and that the redhead is just a bitch and that the only almost normal character is the brunette.

I haven't been watching the show, but it's hard not to overhear bits and pieces. I just now told my wife that she should consider herself lucky I've even entered the bedroom at all to check on her, that my love for her just barely exceeds my contempt for that show.

Fuck it. I'm just being a bitch because I had to cancel our vacation due to injury.

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Sex and the city reruns. My wife severely sprained her ankle on Christmas night and has been laid up in bed binge watching that show for 4 days.

This morning I snapped. Told her that the blonde bas a billowy vagina and belongs in sex addiction treatment, that horseface needs a good throat punch, and that the redhead is just a bitch and that the only almost normal character is the brunette.

I haven't been watching the show, but it's hard not to overhear bits and pieces. I just now told my wife that she should consider herself lucky I've even entered the bedroom at all to check on her, that my love for her just barely exceeds my contempt for that show.

Fuck it. I'm just being a bitch because I had to cancel our vacation due to injury.

Get her to watch the one where the brunette gets addicted to her vibrator. That’ll get gimpy’s motor running.
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I see this mostly at church and kid's school - people (women) who stop in the middle of the doorway to chit-chat. I also see this phenomenon at Target - people (women) block the entrance to the aisle chit-chatting. Move to the side folks.

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People who drive 75-80 with no lane discipline when it’s raining

Same people who change lanes from the fast lane to the right lane right in front of you and spray water all over your windshield when you’re trying to maintain a speed that’s comfortable and safe (55-65).

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8 hours ago, troph said:

People who drive 75-80 with no lane discipline when it’s raining

Same people who change lanes from the fast lane to the right lane right in front of you and spray water all over your windshield when you’re trying to maintain a speed that’s comfortable and safe (55-65).

Well, turn on your headlights in your Prius, and you won't get cut off.

 

And on that note, people who don't turn on their headlights in the rain, or when it's dusk and they drive a car that blends in with the surroundings.  

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5 hours ago, NBMisha said:

Picking up a bag from the carousel, and hearing that ragged sound of your electric toothbrush gasping its last dying battery moments.  Thanks Obama!

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." 

--Mitch Hedberg
 

Works for electric toothbrushes, too.

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Stopped in at 7/11 for a coffee this morning, guy in front of me is paying for gas with change.  Counts out five dollars in change, gives it to the clerk, and throws the remaining 25 or 30 cents in the 'leave a penny' tray.  Dude, put that shit in your tank.  You're clearly broke.  You may need those extra few drops of gas in the future.

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Well, turn on your headlights in your Prius, and you won't get cut off.

 

And on that note, people who don't turn on their headlights in the rain, or when it's dusk and they drive a car that blends in with the surroundings.  

Or the drunk guy at 11pm with his lights off - although not so trivial

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7 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
9 hours ago, Llogg said:
Elevator buttons that just have a little light shining around the rim. Motherfucker light that shit up like a Griswold Christmas so I don't have to squint to tell if it registered my floor!

Or you should get your eyes checked.

or you should go fuck yourself, bitch.

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1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." 

--Mitch Hedberg
 

Works for electric toothbrushes, too.

Of course.  Note "trivial" in thread heading.  Or, all wypipo problems.  Should have been in my carryon, etc, etc.  Now, find something trivial that irks you that we can ridicule out of context.

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2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." 

--Mitch Hedberg
 

Works for electric toothbrushes, too.

Counterpoint

 

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The dad in Illinois who, after his son told him he wanted to spend his Christmas money on the homeless, called the local tv station and had a crew record their every movement that day from writing out a list, going to the bank to cash out Jr’s savings account, hitting up the Walmart, then delivering the goods. Selfless acts are much better when you don’t do a self promoting story about it. 

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42 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

For those bashing us olds for playing video games, I met a fine young woman while playing battlefront online. 

She sent me pics and a dirty pair of her panties after I bought her a plane ticket to austin. 

Flight keeps getting cancelled though.

rt07.jpg

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