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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread


closetohumping

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2 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Average age is probably closer to 35

Average weight is probably 275

Average junk length: 5.75 inches  (excluding @hornfromdallas apparently who skews the average)

Average Annual Net Income: $110K (excluding all male nurses who make $1M plus and skew the average)

Jesus... is this true?  If so, this is fucking depressing.

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2 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Average age is probably closer to 35

Average weight is probably 275

Average junk length: 5.75 inches  (excluding @hornfromdallas apparently who skews the average)

Average Annual Net Income: $110K (excluding all male nurses who make $1M plus and skew the average)

Average junk seems long. Are you measuring from the taint or the anus?

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5 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

To my knowledge the least three least talked about positions have been tight end, linebacker, and defensive coordinator. At least in terms of legitimate conversations.

 

DC/LB are likely to be the same positional coach. 

 

As far as tight end it's just a guessing game.

It’s Brewster!  The 512 will be lit. 

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8 minutes ago, touchthemonolith said:

OT: What is the average age around surly? I'm 30 which is practically ancient on most parts of the internet these days, but my sense is that I'm closer to the average/younger side on here.

I'm 57. "Come on ice cream" is a quote from Cheech & Chong. Cheech goes in to the shitter stall, sits down, and says he had a burrito for lunch and some ice cream. Then he says "Come on ice cream." That was probably mid to late 70s.

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3 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Average age is probably closer to 35

Average weight is probably 275

Average junk length: 5.75 inches  (excluding @hornfromdallas apparently who skews the average)

Average Annual Net Income: $110K (excluding all male nurses who make $1M plus and skew the average)

Sweet!  I’m over on all those!  

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2 minutes ago, 1leggedduck said:

I'm 57. "Come on ice cream" is a quote from Cheech & Chong. Cheech goes in to the shitter stall, sits down, and says he had a burrito for lunch and some ice cream. Then he says "Come on ice cream." That was probably mid to late 70s.

The relevant part of the joke is that ice cream counteracts the effect of Mexican food on shits.

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 

No one is going to give one shit about a DC rumor at Texas just before a CFBNT game between two big, undefeated brands. That’s fantasy. 

This.  we are already going to get pub with Sark in the NC game.  no one cares about the DC and floating names tonight would just get lost. any discussion on Texas is going to be Sark related. On Tuesday it could be a slightly bigger deal and recruits will still pay attention.

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9 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

To my knowledge the least three least talked about positions have been tight end, linebacker, and defensive coordinator. At least in terms of legitimate conversations.

 

DC/LB are likely to be the same positional coach. 

 

As far as tight end it's just a guessing game.

If Golding is option 1 then you can offer Raymond and Lupoi Co DC and if one takes the bait then we'll be happy either way. 

If Arnett is the choice it looks like he'll coach LB and bring a DB coach with him. 

This is all assuming Gideon doesn't go to TE. 

 

 

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26 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

  Hide contents

***I’m told the members of the new staff will be arriving tomorrow (Tuesday) and Wednesday.

***There is still a DB spot remaining which under a guy as seasoned as Terry Joseph, could go to Gideon. Was told this past weekend that Corey Raymond still had a standing offer.

***But as I previously mentioned, I know that Arnett has a DB guy he wanted to bring with him if he ends up being the guy.

***Was told that Saban has yet to reach out to Bo Davis which he very well could do after the championship game. I recall one of their recent hires accepting a position somewhere and within a week, Saban called and that all changed. So, you can breathe a sigh of relief once Bo is in the building.

***Spoke to someone over at ND about Terry Joseph and was told he’s a pretty good talent developer. Harder to assess his recruiting chops at a place like Notre Dame. They take a very particular type of kid.

***Interestingly heard that Ash may be up for the LSU DC job and…

***Have heard Herman as a possible candidate at Florida or Tennessee if Mullen leaves or Pruitt is fired.

***Don’t be surprised if Andre Coleman ends up getting a shot to remain WR coach at Texas. I’m not saying it’s going to happen but I’ve heard it’s still a possibility.

***I had initially thought Sark had offered Dennis Simmons double the pay (he makes about 450K at OU) but was told the offer was for an additional 250K which would bring him to 700K at Texas. OU’s AD is pretty tight with money but they can probably get close to that.

***Also, not saying it’s going to happen but if Urban takes an NFL job, we may need to keep an eye on Drayton.

 

I've had a bad feeling all along that Davis is going to end up at Bama even after signing on here

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1 minute ago, Sir Ulrich said:

If Golding is option 1 then you can offer Raymond and Lupoi Co DC and if one takes the bait then we'll be happy either way. 

If Arnett is the choice it looks like he'll coach LB and bring a DB coach with him. 

This is all assuming Gideon doesn't go to TE. 

 

 

If Golding is option 1 it sounds like he'd want to bring Karl Scott with him - assuming Scott wants to leave Alabama.

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1 minute ago, Sir Ulrich said:

If Golding is option 1 then you can offer Raymond and Lupoi Co DC and if one takes the bait then we'll be happy either way. 

If Arnett is the choice it looks like he'll coach LB and bring a DB coach with him. 

This is all assuming Gideon doesn't go to TE. 

 

 

I could see a scenario where it's as follows for offense

 

QB - Milwee

RB - Drayton

Co-OC - Flood

Co-OC/Outside WR - Simmons

TE/Inside WR - Wiggins

 

That would be a dream scenario.

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28 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

  Reveal hidden contents

***I’m told the members of the new staff will be arriving tomorrow (Tuesday) and Wednesday.

***There is still a DB spot remaining which under a guy as seasoned as Terry Joseph, could go to Gideon. Was told this past weekend that Corey Raymond still had a standing offer.

***But as I previously mentioned, I know that Arnett has a DB guy he wanted to bring with him if he ends up being the guy.

***Was told that Saban has yet to reach out to Bo Davis which he very well could do after the championship game. I recall one of their recent hires accepting a position somewhere and within a week, Saban called and that all changed. So, you can breathe a sigh of relief once Bo is in the building.

***Spoke to someone over at ND about Terry Joseph and was told he’s a pretty good talent developer. Harder to assess his recruiting chops at a place like Notre Dame. They take a very particular type of kid.

***Interestingly heard that Ash may be up for the LSU DC job and…

***Have heard Herman as a possible candidate at Florida or Tennessee if Mullen leaves or Pruitt is fired.

***Don’t be surprised if Andre Coleman ends up getting a shot to remain WR coach at Texas. I’m not saying it’s going to happen but I’ve heard it’s still a possibility.

***I had initially thought Sark had offered Dennis Simmons double the pay (he makes about 450K at OU) but was told the offer was for an additional 250K which would bring him to 700K at Texas. OU’s AD is pretty tight with money but they can probably get close to that.

***Also, not saying it’s going to happen but if Urban takes an NFL job, we may need to keep an eye on Drayton.

 

So the SEC blocking Davis's hiring is bullshit now? I mean it sounded like bullshit.

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2 hours ago, Duane Moore said:

Some speculation from a poster on the Tennessee $9.95 boards that has relevance to us:

So here is the info. I love letting everybody have fun and being scared of posting their supposed inside info but I post and stand behind my info. Could I be wrong? Sure. Am I telling you what I have heard from good sources? Yes. Check my record.

Pruitt is very wrapped up in the investigation. He is done. They are scrapping to fire him for cause but he is ready to fight. He also knows that he has some culpability so he would negotiate. The administration does not want to pay him a nickel. No way to say how it works out but he will not coach next year. I cannot say whether he did anything wrong but I can tell you that the investigation centers on a tight end out of the Las Vegas area. Weird how Georgia also might be in trouble. I wonder if there is any connection.

Davis would have gone to Bama and Saban wanted to hire him but he hates Strong. Would not go because of that so he went with Sark.

Here is an interesting thing, Sark wants Golding but Sark will defer to Saban. Saban will let Golding go but he first wants to make sure his next DC does not have a show cause order. Guess who that is. Yep, Pruitt might have concerns as to a show cause.

Is he talking about Charlie Strong? Why would he matter as just an analyst?

Also, we should hire Pruitt if he doesn't have a show cause and Saban doesn't get him first.

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2 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

I've had a bad feeling all along that Davis is going to end up at Bama even after signing on here

No idea if its true - but Tiger droppings had a couple of people say that Saban tried to hire Davis last year (before they hired Freddie Roach) but the SEC has essentially veto'd any attempts by Alabama or other schools to hire Davis.

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2 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

So basically tfb is saying we could lose drayton and davis 

Bobby reported last week that Drayton loves Austin and his daughters are heavily involved in gymnastics in the Woodlands.  247 had also reported that Drayton wanted to stay in Austin and wouldn't be looking at NFL opportunities (this was before Urban was rumored to Jacksonville)

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So Saban is going to get rid of his defensive line coach, Freddie Roach, who he brought back to Bama from Ole Miss after he previously was Saban’s director of player development for 3 years? I don’t buy that one bit. Also, IT said Drayton is not following Urban to the NFL.

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2 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

No idea if its true - but Tiger droppings had a couple of people say that Saban tried to hire Davis last year (before they hired Freddie Roach) but the SEC has essentially veto'd any attempts by Alabama or other schools to hire Davis.

Who knows. I do think they're blocking Hugh Freeze considering how he somehow got no consideration at SC and Auburn, so maybe they're trying to clean up their image.

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1 minute ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I read that Corey Raymond is tired of getting passed up for DC type positions. Maybe the allure of being a Co-DC title to progress his career and working with Terry Joseph(allegedly his good friend) would be  enough to pull him.

 

 

This should be a no-brainer for us. With our budget, give him co-DC and double his salary to $1m+. Guess we need a DC on board first though.

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OT: What is the average age around surly? I'm 30 which is practically ancient on most parts of the internet these days, but my sense is that I'm closer to the average/younger side on here.

Need to adjust the numbers on the bell, and not look at the long tails (I’m looking at you armybrat), or myself (if you listen to my wife (no pics you pervs) she claims I’m 12). So yea, 30 sounds about right for median.
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10 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I could see a scenario where it's as follows for offense

 

QB - Milwee

RB - Drayton

Co-OC - Flood

Co-OC/Outside WR - Simmons

TE/Inside WR - Wiggins

 

That would be a dream scenario.

I can't see a guy who has a Heisman WR and 4 1st Rd Picks leaving to coach TE's and IWRs

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32 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Average age is probably closer to 35

Average weight is probably 275

Average junk length: 5.75 inches  (excluding @hornfromdallas apparently who skews the average)

Average Annual Net Income: $110K (excluding all male nurses who make $1M plus and skew the average)

Did you forget to insert Rocko's paystub into your Net Income calculator?

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11 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

So Saban is going to get rid of his defensive line coach, Freddie Roach, who he brought back to Bama from Ole Miss after he previously was Saban’s director of player development for 3 years? I don’t buy that one bit. Also, IT said Drayton is not following Urban to the NFL.

I find it very unlikely that Alabama would bring back a coach that already committed NCAA violations at Alabama and had a show-cause from those violations. 

I know Alabama is all in on winning but that's just terrible optics. 

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This was in Brian Davis’ article this morning about his interview he did with Sark yesterday. Again, it’s the AAS so they probably still think Herman is coming back:

 

“It’s unclear whether Sarkisian will formally announce some of his staff hires, but current assistants Stan Drayton (running backs) and Andre Coleman (receivers) are likely to stay. Texas ex Blake Gideon is on track to return and work with the safeties.”

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41 minutes ago, Enchubben said:

Average age is probably closer to 35

Average weight is probably 275

Average junk length: 5.75 inches  (excluding @hornfromdallas apparently who skews the average)

Average Annual Net Income: $110K (excluding all male nurses who make $1M plus and skew the average)

The court wouldn't accept Enchubben. I'm going to need your full legal name for the restraining order. PM sent.

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27 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

This was in Brian Davis’ article this morning about his interview he did with Sark yesterday. Again, it’s the AAS so they probably still think Herman is coming back:

 

“It’s unclear whether Sarkisian will formally announce some of his staff hires, but current assistants Stan Drayton (running backs) and Andre Coleman (receivers) are likely to stay. Texas ex Blake Gideon is on track to return and work with the safeties.”

Less trustworthy than fat ketch 

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33 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

This was in Brian Davis’ article this morning about his interview he did with Sark yesterday. Again, it’s the AAS so they probably still think Herman is coming back:

 

“It’s unclear whether Sarkisian will formally announce some of his staff hires, but current assistants Stan Drayton (running backs) and Andre Coleman (receivers) are likely to stay. Texas ex Blake Gideon is on track to return and work with the safeties.”

We don't know enough about Andre to know if he's good or bad.  Receivers seem to like him more than Drew even though Drew is married to a black lady.

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52 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

So Saban is going to get rid of his defensive line coach, Freddie Roach, who he brought back to Bama from Ole Miss after he previously was Saban’s director of player development for 3 years? I don’t buy that one bit. Also, IT said Drayton is not following Urban to the NFL.

Pretty sure TFB got that Drayton rumor from surly after I made it up in the recruiting thread

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9 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

We don't know enough about Andre to know if he's good or bad.  Receivers seem to like him more than Drew even though Drew is married to a black lady.

Drew is literally Tom Herman but less "successful."  We were about to lose the entire receivers room if Drew wasn't let go, he wasn't respected by his players at all.

I know enough about our receivers on the field this year that Coleman isn't that great of a coach.  This Coleman talk seems like misdirection.

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