Jump to content

What animal could you beat in a fight?


HenryJames

Recommended Posts

Good majority of people on hereare scared shitless of everything from a bull snake to tarantulas.

The self-professed badassery is bringing the LOlz on both threads.  Buncha folks on here would shit their pants if truly threatened.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, slorch said:

The self-professed badassery is bringing the LOlz on both threads. 

chimps are like four feet tall. I’d destroy a chimp. same with those bitchass lightweight boxers. what does floyd mayweather weigh, like 140 pounds? I’d beat the shit out of him. 

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This fucker was trying to get in my attic and I called him out to meet me in my back yard. He bowed up and I just kicked him over the fence into my neighbors pool.

The last thing I told him, before I literally kicked his ass, was to go tell all his rat friends to stay the fuck out of my yard. Stupid fancy tailed rat...

c76b48b45faaedf77d06cfb1156ad0e2.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Mileslong said:

This fucker was trying to get in my attic and I called him out to meet me in my back yard. He bowed up and I just kicked him over the fence into my neighbors pool.

The last thing I told him, before I literally kicked his ass, was to go tell all his rat friends to stay the fuck out of my yard. Stupid fancy tailed rat...

c76b48b45faaedf77d06cfb1156ad0e2.jpg

e8034ac0db3904ecf89f1bbef433ea20.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/19/2021 at 11:12 PM, futureman said:

chimps are like four feet tall. I’d destroy a chimp. same with those bitchass lightweight boxers. what does floyd mayweather weigh, like 140 pounds? I’d beat the shit out of him. 

Yeah, I had that attitude about boxing/boxers right up through Greek week at SWT in 1975. I was boxing as a GDI and breezed through my first two bouts with little problem.  The third one? I had a hard time not bursting out laughing when I saw my opponent.  Thin, pasty little bastard with thick horned rim glasses.  Although we were both about the same weight, he was was soft and flabby, no muscle tone at all.  Well, that little pale, flabby bastard burned me up in short order.  It was like he had 10 arms and 18 fists..... never tried to box again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m convinced I could kill a wolf (one wolf not a pack) with my bare hands, if there was a body of water around. 
not one of those big ducking timberwolves or anything but like an 80 pound southern type wolf. I think I could kill a coyote on dry land. 

Edited by Wulaw Horn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you're all kidding yourselves. There is a reason man invented weapons and fire - basically to protect themselves from anything bigger than a chipmunk. 

A pissed off chimpanzee would destroy every one of you, ( I mean "us").

Edited by DoobieWah
And lest you forget, pussy is undefeated.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/9/2021 at 4:31 AM, RGBIII said:

I could beat the shit out of a wolf. It’s an aggressive golden retriever, I’d give that mother fucker a stone cold stunner and it wouldn’t know what hit it 

stone cold wrestling GIF by WWE

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/8/2021 at 9:31 PM, RGBIII said:

I could beat the shit out of a wolf. It’s an aggressive golden retriever, I’d give that mother fucker a stone cold stunner and it wouldn’t know what hit it 

stone cold wrestling GIF by WWE

 

On 6/10/2021 at 6:09 AM, 52-80 said:

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

 

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

It doesn't matter who sold the hell out of that stunner.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I killed gophers by any means necessary when I was a kid...baseball bat, foot stomp, twist they little heads off.  The county paid $.25 per striped gopher and $.50 per flicker tail.  Killing flicker tails was more than twice as hard because I couldn't haul enough water in my wagon to flush out even one of those fuckers from their extensive burrows.  I had one striped gopher try to scurry back down another hole, and I grabbed it by the tail which completely skinned it from the bone.  I drowned it out of that hole and threaded the skin and fur back on the skeleton just so I wouldn't lose that $.25.  Nowadays, kids can't even put a condom on a gotdam cucumber without a PE teacher. Gopher hunting was an art form, however brutal.

It was the mid-to-late 60s, so I should have coined the term Gophercong.

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I killed gophers by any means necessary when I was a kid...baseball bat, foot stomp, twist they little heads off.  The county paid $.25 per striped gopher and $.50 per flicker tail.  Killing flicker tails was more than twice as hard because I couldn't haul enough water in my wagon to flush out even one of those fuckers from their extensive burrows.  I had one striped gopher try to scurry back down another hole, and I grabbed it by the tail which completely skinned it from the bone.  I drowned it out of that hole and threaded the skin and fur back on the skeleton just so I wouldn't lose that $.25.  Nowadays, kids can't even put a condom on a gotdam cucumber without a PE teacher. Gopher hunting was an art form, however brutal.

It was the mid-to-late 60s, so I should have coined the term Gophercong.

Animated GIF

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I killed gophers by any means necessary when I was a kid...baseball bat, foot stomp, twist they little heads off.  The county paid $.25 per striped gopher and $.50 per flicker tail.  Killing flicker tails was more than twice as hard because I couldn't haul enough water in my wagon to flush out even one of those fuckers from their extensive burrows.  I had one striped gopher try to scurry back down another hole, and I grabbed it by the tail which completely skinned it from the bone.  I drowned it out of that hole and threaded the skin and fur back on the skeleton just so I wouldn't lose that $.25.  Nowadays, kids can't even put a condom on a gotdam cucumber without a PE teacher. Gopher hunting was an art form, however brutal.

It was the mid-to-late 60s, so I should have coined the term Gophercong.

Fucking brutal. I had to check if that was copy pasta. 

Tell us more of your people's gopher jihad. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...