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24 Hours in a Waffle House


Neonmoon

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52 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Oh shit, now you're talking my language.  Loved Bob Evans as a kid in Chicago.  I don't think there's any down here in Texas though.  

Didn't know I loved skillets until I was old enough to order one off the adult menu as a tweener and been hooked ever since.  

I know the comment can get a little political...but Cracker Barrel?  Seriously?  Bad food, worse service, garbage human clientele.  Whole fucking thing should be demolished and sent to hell as an apology to Christ's teachings.  

Dunno.  I feel at home there. Might be the fireplace.

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52 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I know the comment can get a little political...but Cracker Barrel?  Seriously?  Bad food, worse service, garbage human clientele.  Whole fucking thing should be demolished and sent to hell as an apology to Christ's teachings.  

Maybe, but that’s offset by the fact that there’s no chance of running into you.

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Waffle House >>> Cracker Barrel.  It's got the diversity of clientele, breakfast options, and painful bowel movement indicators that America needs right now! 

An underrated chain for breakfast that I think is all but gone from the South now was Village Inn.  After we beat South Carolina in Omaha in '02, we ended up at one in Omaha (I'm guessing near Rosenblatt somewhere).  Loved it ever since, but you don't see them anymore.  

But yeah, for breakfast chains---it's Waffle House, then a few weeks of regret, followed by just going with breakfast tacos for another few years until picking up somebody drunk from ABIA and stopping off at the one on 71.   

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I think the last time I ate at a Waffle House was after the West Virginia game in 2012 when Geno Smith found an open receiver on every 3rd and long. I remember there being a number of Mountaineers in the Waffle House the next morning.

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^

This. 

I'm not sure if the "secret menu" even exists anymore, but the Double D with pork chop after heavy beer drinking for the win.  I'm an eggs over medium with this, but your results may vary.  They also have surprisingly decent coffee.  

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On 6/19/2021 at 1:59 AM, Hairy Biped said:

I had a surreal experience at a Waffle House after being hit by lightning earlier that day.  The place was dirty, the cook looked like he just got out of prison and our waitress's outfit was filthy and coved in grease or oil

That’s the run of the mill WH experience 

Edited by Sawbonz
ETA tell us about the lightning strike 😳😳
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I saw this last night and sent it to my buddy because he told me their league had the same exact punishment a few years ago. I guess they should have asked for more attention.

Another punishment was you had to perform a 10-minute comedy routine at amateur night. Another was you had to wear a turtle neck everyday for a month but you couldn’t tell anyone why you were doing it.

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On 6/18/2021 at 5:05 PM, RPM said:

Waffle House gets a bad rap. It is what it is, greasy griddle food and badass waffles best consumed after copious amounts of alcohol. If you can't appreciate the cosmic greatness that is scattered, smothered and covered then I'm not sure there's hope for you.

In my younger days, traveling around the country following the Grateful Dead, then Phish, I’ve dined at Waffle Houses all over. The experience varies greatly depending on the location. I’ve been to some that are very clean and others that are very seedy.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually ordered a waffle.

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I worked at Port Arthur Waffle House on Jimmy Johnson Blvd as a waiter in the summer of '94.  I think the most I ever pulled was 18 of 24 hours + 2 waffles.  Sometimes they'd schedule me a graveyard shift followed by a second shift that was afternoon and dinner.  On the graveyards, you'd have to deal with all the drunks but at least you made some money and things were eventful.  The second shift in the afternoons was always slow so they started an all you can eat promotion.  That brought an endless parade of flat topped, no tipping Port Neches Boudreauxs who'd sit down and say, "we want the boofay."  Graveyard, a little sleep then back at 2pm would have me feeling like I didn't exist outside of Waffle House.  It's a worthy punishment.  

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Cracker Barrel is Chuck-E-Cheese for old people. Maximize the time that Grammaw gets to sit in the rocker out front playing checkers with the grandkids. Minimize the amount of time spent in the dining area where they can't remember to bring you silverware but the busboy is crashing plates and spoons into the bin almost at your elbow.

Waffle House is all over the place quality wise, from awful to medium. If I am in a hurry to eat and run, usually I end up in one where the cooks and servers are carrying on some feud where they treat me as the audience and try to "amuse" me with their side of the endless quarrel. Other times there will be quiet, bitter, but efficient workers who make exactly what you want really fast. Then there was the one time where it seemed almost retro-ly stylish and I really enjoyed the visit, only to come down with flu so bad I am pretty sure I could have died if nobody checked on me.

I found out there's a secret menu at Waffle House where if you ask for a burger the exact right way, you can get it for only a little more than a dollar. I forgot what that way was, and I don't plan to go back and ask.

Edited by RDCanecutter
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On 6/18/2021 at 3:57 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Epic piece by bourdain . I wish I had daily access to Waffle House. Me, my old man took my 3 year old to a WH in Florida a few months ago while the women including my brother in law stayed at the hotel. Broke my kid in early

The intro was poetry. 

Watching this... damn, I forgot how much I miss Parts Unknown and No Reservations.  Rest in Peace, Tony. You had an impact, and you are missed.

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Prospect Her?  I barely Know Her! 

Pos rep, that is by far more fun that I've ever had at a Waffle House.  And I've done some shady shit before eating in one of those joints. 

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[csb] Almost 30 years ago some buddies and I had been out drinking and decided we needed some late night grub when the bars closed.  We hit up the waffle house who had the All You Can Eat option going at the time.  We had all been through a plate two and decided to push it for one more round.  Keep in mind there are the 5 or 6 of us at 1 booth and 1 guy by himself sitting at the bar.  It's probably 3:30 AM by this point.

We hear this monstrous sneeze and look up to see the cook shaking his head after having sneezed straight onto the griddle full of our food and then just go back to flipping things with this spatula.  About 5 minutes later our food was delivered.  We were sober enough by that point to just pay our bill without eating it. We still laugh about it when we get together. [/csb]

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29 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

I think you have your symbols backwards. That’s the only explanation for preferring IHOP to anything short of starvation.

Had a friend who ordered a steak one night/morning at IHOP.  As he got pissed because it sucked, we all told him at once -- you fucking ordered a steak at IHOP, that's on you, dumbass.

Pancakes and breakfast foods there are fine.

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4 hours ago, RPM said:

Waffle House<Denny's<Food Truck<IHOP<Burger joint

I’m guessing you’ve never been to Bob Evans.

But if you go to Bob Evans, don’t order the Western Omelet because they dice the peppers and onions too fine and it ruins the texture. Their blueberry hotcakes (aka pancakes) are great. Their sausage is great. They also make a great burger. 

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Seriously, all my anti-chain bullshit just washes away you show me some damn Bob Evans.  Down on the Farm, bitches! 

My mother from Mexico makes the best scratch huevito con pappas or con chorizo you've ever had, with a lot of tradition and pride.  But if while she was cooking it, I said, "forget it, let's go to Bob Evans"...we'd all ditch that shit and go out for breakfast.  Are they even still around?  I tried looking at their store locator but it wouldn't show you a nationwide map, just really specific zip codes like Decatur, IL and Merriville, IN.  I think the last one I went to was in Florida years and years ago.  csb.  

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On 6/18/2021 at 6:03 PM, BottleRocket said:

I love Waffle House and initially thought that this is no punishment and that 12 waffles would be a piece of cake until I remembered this drinking game a girl in college had me play which had one simple rule - take 1 shot of beer every 60 seconds until you have to stop. Sounds amazingly simple until you try and do it.

Century Club, brotha!

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6 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Always got the pork chops with eggs over easy at the WH in Burleson. Banged one of the waitresses in the parking lot after snorting meth off her tits in the back of her dodge prospector. 

I call this the "full waffle house experience".

Dad?

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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

Seriously, all my anti-chain bullshit just washes away you show me some damn Bob Evans.  Down on the Farm, bitches! 

My mother from Mexico makes the best scratch huevito con pappas or con chorizo you've ever had, with a lot of tradition and pride.  But if while she was cooking it, I said, "forget it, let's go to Bob Evans"...we'd all ditch that shit and go out for breakfast.  Are they even still around?  I tried looking at their store locator but it wouldn't show you a nationwide map, just really specific zip codes like Decatur, IL and Merriville, IN.  I think the last one I went to was in Florida years and years ago.  csb.  

As far as I know Bob Evans is a regional chain. I have at least three of them closer to me than the nearest Waffle House.  

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I stopped at the Waffle House in Norman on the way back from an Okie State game one time.

Complete record scratch from Animal House when I walked in decked out in burnt orange.

Guy next to me at the counter "Some set of balls you got coming in here dressed like that"

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4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Seriously, all my anti-chain bullshit just washes away you show me some damn Bob Evans.  Down on the Farm, bitches! 

My mother from Mexico makes the best scratch huevito con pappas or con chorizo you've ever had, with a lot of tradition and pride.  But if while she was cooking it, I said, "forget it, let's go to Bob Evans"...we'd all ditch that shit and go out for breakfast.  Are they even still around?  I tried looking at their store locator but it wouldn't show you a nationwide map, just really specific zip codes like Decatur, IL and Merriville, IN.  I think the last one I went to was in Florida years and years ago.  csb.  

I went to Bob Evans a few years ago while visiting family in Bloomington, IN. I had never been there and had always wanted to go. It was fucking gross. I'd crawl on broken glass to get to Waffle House before I'd to to Bob Evans again.

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On 6/18/2021 at 4:03 PM, BottleRocket said:

I love Waffle House and initially thought that this is no punishment and that 12 waffles would be a piece of cake until I remembered this drinking game a girl in college had me play which had one simple rule - take 1 shot of beer every 60 seconds until you have to stop. Sounds amazingly simple until you try and do it.

We called it power hour. 

During my MBA program, we went off site for a week to bond. One of the many bad ideas that week was to play power hour before getting on a bus into San Antonio. 30 minutes of bouncing with a bladder full of beer was shear agony. 

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3 hours ago, blacklab said:

I stopped at the Waffle House in Norman on the way back from an Okie State game one time.

Complete record scratch from Animal House when I walked in decked out in burnt orange.

Guy next to me at the counter "Some set of balls you got coming in here dressed like that"

I stopped at the Waffle House in Huntsville Alabama on the way back from delivering a proposal.

Complete record scratch from Animal House when I walked in Asian.

 

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3 hours ago, Sandman said:

I went to Bob Evans a few years ago while visiting family in Bloomington, IN. I had never been there and had always wanted to go. It was fucking gross. I'd crawl on broken glass to get to Waffle House before I'd to to Bob Evans again.

No shit. Bland sausage-flecked cream gravy cornfield mush. As the flagship chain of rural Ohio, Indiana and Illinois, how can it be anything but terrible?

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