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Flight disrupting assholes Thread of Shame.


crash_davis

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On 1/25/2023 at 3:48 PM, YGIFS said:

Two things:

1.  I'm looking at those .gifs from Cheeseweasel.  Tell me, if you're anywhere near me age...that you can't hear in your mind's ear...the exact pitch of the airplane cruising sound after each of those scenes.  It's a particular pitch from "Airplane" that was never used before or after that only we know as a generation.  

2.  What the fuck with U.S. airline passengers?  We all love to shit on Amtrak and Megabus riders.  But what the fuck?  You'd think their misbehavior would be more viral online?  But nope, it's just our white-ass cuntiness across myriad airlines that shows what fucksticks we are.  Anybody have a cache of immigrant assholes rolling dirty on our highways and biways and rails and trails?  they exist but not en masse.  But put somebody with $19, coach ticket, smart phone, and a smarter image neck pillow at 5 miles above the Earth and it's Patriot Games all over again 

Wasn't Patriot Games mostly a gunfight with the Irish in front of Parliament?

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On 1/23/2023 at 9:40 AM, Tylerocks said:

This.

 

More parents should drug their kids for flights.

You sir, are a great American.

Way back in the day I was flying in back with the poors on a 100% packed flight (except the two seats next to me) from ATL to ICN.  Five seconds before they close the door here comes a frazzled mom and her what looked to be about three year old kid shuffling down the aisle.  Since the only empty seats on the whole damn plane were the ones on my row I knew I was in for a shitty ass flight.

Well, frazzled mom turned out to be a super Ms Bad Ass.  She got junior seated by the window, looked over at me and must have seen the eye roll I couldn't contain and said, "Oh, we aren't going to have no problems out of him."  As she said it, she reached into her bag and pulled out what was an obviously well used fly swatter and raised it over her head at him.  Young man cowered in pure terror, closed his eyes and didn't hear a peep out of him for the next 16 hours.

That is good parenting right there.

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On 1/27/2023 at 10:54 PM, Brisketexan said:


[quagmire] Why would you ever argue with a flight attendant over anything but which one of her friends should join you for a threesome? [/quagmire]

I was on a flight to Beijing on Northwest about 15 years ago and the flight attendants were out of control. They arrogated one of the bathrooms for personal use and were so rude to passengers that all the rows around me were laughing about it. The couple behind me, goes watch this, and rang for the stewardess. She came over after some time and they asked for a glass of water. She barked that they weren't currently doing service and we all laughed. She gave us all a dirty look and scolded us for asking for unnecessary items and went back to the back of the cabin. I guess all the airlines promote through seniority so the international flights probably get all the old hags. This was the bottom of that group. It was amusing in "the worst customer service ever" kind of way. But, threesome - no fucking way - not with that crew. They're probably all dead from old age now, anyway.

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I fly one or two Trans-oceanic round trips/month (usually on AA.) At least 75% of the cat-ranchers (old F/A’s) are worthless/bitter or simply ornery. Probably 50% of the hot (or at least younger) girls have a similar makeup. My dream date on these long flights are the ones who give a s***, and those are the gays.

These results seem similar on other US carriers. Probably to a lesser degree on the Euros. The desert folks are solid, but the cream in service are the Asians. Gold star across the board. (And not just because of the weekly weigh-ins.)

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On 1/29/2023 at 7:25 AM, DaysOff said:

It's the damnedest thing. So many act like they hate the job, but they never leave. "When were you born captain?" 1966. "Oh, I started working here before then." WTF. I have a flight attendant theory. If they make it past 7 years, they're staying 50.

I just flew with seniority numbers 33 and 52 respectively out of I don’t know? 27,000? 30k? I haven’t bothered to look.

Both were in their 70’s, probably buddy bid, actually quite nice and judging by the passenger compliments good at what they were doing. They also moved at a glacial pace in the terminal, and I had to provide a step between the curb and the hotel shuttle for one because she’d couldn’t span the distance without toppling over. I’m not sure what use they’d be in an emergency. 

Both mentioned their husbands dying and needing something to do. I had a sense that they’d probably be in the grave with ing two years of retirement themselves as this was all they knew. 

I treated them like a pair of 20 somethings and they seemed to appreciate not being given the old bitty treatment, but goodness. Plenty of charities could use some volunteer help. 

Probably most making it past 7 years are completely unmarketable on the dating scene for one reason or another and must assume the wandering cat lady lifestyle.  

 

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

An "unruly" passenger on an American Airlines flight forced the plane to make an emergency landing in North Carolina this week after the traveler allegedly charged at the cockpit after she couldn't get a cocktail, according to officials and reports.

Flight 3444 flying from Jacksonville, Florida, to Washington, DC, was diverted to North Carolina's Raleigh-Durham International Airport on Wednesday afternoon as a result of the "passenger disturbance," the Federal Aviation Administration confirmed to Insider on Friday.

The FAA said in a tweet on Wednesday that it was investigating an "unruly passenger" aboard the flight operated by Envoy Air, a regional carrier under American Airlines.

In radio transmissions from Raleigh-Durham Airport Authority Police, officers can be heard saying that a passenger on the flight "tried to breach the cockpit" and was "being somewhat restrained by the flight crew and other passengers," CNN reported.

The FAA told Insider that the passenger "did not breach" the cockpit, but "did run at it."

Tiffany Miles, 36, told local news site WRAL in an interview that the incident was a total misunderstanding and that she wants an apology.

I started freaking out': Woman charged after American Airlines flight  diversion explains what led up to emergency landing | Flipboard

"What person in their right mind would go up to the cockpit while the pilot was flying the plane? It doesn't make sense," Miles told the news outlet as she explained that she got up and walked towards the bathroom in the direction of the cockpit.

Miles said that she asked a flight attendant for a cocktail — Jack Daniels on the rocks — before the flight took off and during, but was told no alcohol was being served on the flight, according to WRAL.

"I have anxiety," Miles said. "So, sometimes I need a cocktail to cool off and calm down."

Miles said that when she was out of her seat two flight attendants stopped her near the cockpit.

"I started freaking out because so many people started getting up on me," Miles told the news outlet. "I started freaking completely out, saying, 'This is not called for.'"

The flight crew wound up restraining Miles with zip ties aboard the flight until it landed safely back at the North Carolina airport, according to WRAL.

"The flight attendant told me I had to get up out of my chair or she was going to force me to the ground and put zip ties on me," Miles said. "I said, 'For what?!'"

"That made me go berserk," she said.

Cell phone video published by WRAL shows Miles being restrained as she says into the camera, "The question that I had asked was if I can get my drink. I have not threatened anyone."

Meanwhile, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was even briefed on the ordeal.

"FAA leadership has briefed me on today's flight diversion due to a Level 4 disruption on board," Buttigieg tweeted. "Thankful to all who helped ensure its safe arrival. As always, safety is our main concern and our top priority."

Miles was taken into custody by police after the plane landed at the North Carolina airport and she was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of illegal airport obstruction, records show. She was jailed and later released on bond.

However, law enforcement ultimately dismissed the charge against Miles following an investigation, the airport told Insider on Friday.

Law enforcement at Raleigh-Durham International Airport "was notified by the TSA of an attempted hijacking on board a flight that was being diverted to RDU on its way to Washington, DC," the airport told Insider in a statement.

"Due to the elevated nature of the call and information received at the time, law enforcement placed passenger Tiffany Miles in custody and initially charged her with a misdemeanor," the airport said.

The FBI told Insider "no further action is planned unless additional information or evidence comes to light."

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Americans can be some stupid motherfuckers. Find an unexploded bomb on your trip to Israel. Let's bring it on the plane back to the US. Wait, what are all those people running for??????

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-family-israel-bomb-luggage-souvenir_n_626bf9ede4b029505df1cab6

Bad idea: picking up an old, unexploded bomb.

Worse idea: deciding to keep an old, unexploded bomb as a souvenir.

The absolute worst idea: transporting an old, unexploded bomb to the airport in your luggage and attempting to bring it on a plane.

A chaotic scene unfolded at Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv on Thursday after an American family attempted to pass through security with unexploded ordnance in their suitcase.

 

 

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6 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Americans can be some stupid motherfuckers. Find an unexploded bomb on your trip to Israel. Let's bring it on the plane back to the US. Wait, what are all those people running for??????

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-family-israel-bomb-luggage-souvenir_n_626bf9ede4b029505df1cab6

Bad idea: picking up an old, unexploded bomb.

Worse idea: deciding to keep an old, unexploded bomb as a souvenir.

The absolute worst idea: transporting an old, unexploded bomb to the airport in your luggage and attempting to bring it on a plane.

A chaotic scene unfolded at Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv on Thursday after an American family attempted to pass through security with unexploded ordnance in their suitcase.

 

 

I hear Israeli prison is nice this time of year.

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7 hours ago, RPM said:

An "unruly" passenger on an American Airlines flight forced the plane to make an emergency landing in North Carolina this week after the traveler allegedly charged at the cockpit after she couldn't get a cocktail, according to officials and reports.

Flight 3444 flying from Jacksonville, Florida, to Washington, DC, was diverted to North Carolina's Raleigh-Durham International Airport on Wednesday afternoon as a result of the "passenger disturbance," the Federal Aviation Administration confirmed to Insider on Friday.

The FAA said in a tweet on Wednesday that it was investigating an "unruly passenger" aboard the flight operated by Envoy Air, a regional carrier under American Airlines.

In radio transmissions from Raleigh-Durham Airport Authority Police, officers can be heard saying that a passenger on the flight "tried to breach the cockpit" and was "being somewhat restrained by the flight crew and other passengers," CNN reported.

The FAA told Insider that the passenger "did not breach" the cockpit, but "did run at it."

Tiffany Miles, 36, told local news site WRAL in an interview that the incident was a total misunderstanding and that she wants an apology.

I started freaking out': Woman charged after American Airlines flight  diversion explains what led up to emergency landing | Flipboard

"What person in their right mind would go up to the cockpit while the pilot was flying the plane? It doesn't make sense," Miles told the news outlet as she explained that she got up and walked towards the bathroom in the direction of the cockpit.

Miles said that she asked a flight attendant for a cocktail — Jack Daniels on the rocks — before the flight took off and during, but was told no alcohol was being served on the flight, according to WRAL.

"I have anxiety," Miles said. "So, sometimes I need a cocktail to cool off and calm down."

Miles said that when she was out of her seat two flight attendants stopped her near the cockpit.

"I started freaking out because so many people started getting up on me," Miles told the news outlet. "I started freaking completely out, saying, 'This is not called for.'"

The flight crew wound up restraining Miles with zip ties aboard the flight until it landed safely back at the North Carolina airport, according to WRAL.

"The flight attendant told me I had to get up out of my chair or she was going to force me to the ground and put zip ties on me," Miles said. "I said, 'For what?!'"

"That made me go berserk," she said.

Cell phone video published by WRAL shows Miles being restrained as she says into the camera, "The question that I had asked was if I can get my drink. I have not threatened anyone."

Meanwhile, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was even briefed on the ordeal.

"FAA leadership has briefed me on today's flight diversion due to a Level 4 disruption on board," Buttigieg tweeted. "Thankful to all who helped ensure its safe arrival. As always, safety is our main concern and our top priority."

Miles was taken into custody by police after the plane landed at the North Carolina airport and she was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of illegal airport obstruction, records show. She was jailed and later released on bond.

However, law enforcement ultimately dismissed the charge against Miles following an investigation, the airport told Insider on Friday.

Law enforcement at Raleigh-Durham International Airport "was notified by the TSA of an attempted hijacking on board a flight that was being diverted to RDU on its way to Washington, DC," the airport told Insider in a statement.

"Due to the elevated nature of the call and information received at the time, law enforcement placed passenger Tiffany Miles in custody and initially charged her with a misdemeanor," the airport said.

The FBI told Insider "no further action is planned unless additional information or evidence comes to light."

I’m just spit-balling  here, but maybe “completely freaking out” or “going berserk”  is not the best strategy when on a plane. 

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On 2/25/2023 at 9:49 AM, RPM said:

An "unruly" passenger on an American Airlines flight forced the plane to make an emergency landing in North Carolina this week after the traveler allegedly charged at the cockpit after she couldn't get a cocktail, according to officials and reports.

Flight 3444 flying from Jacksonville, Florida, to Washington, DC, was diverted to North Carolina's Raleigh-Durham International Airport on Wednesday afternoon as a result of the "passenger disturbance," the Federal Aviation Administration confirmed to Insider on Friday.

The FAA said in a tweet on Wednesday that it was investigating an "unruly passenger" aboard the flight operated by Envoy Air, a regional carrier under American Airlines.

In radio transmissions from Raleigh-Durham Airport Authority Police, officers can be heard saying that a passenger on the flight "tried to breach the cockpit" and was "being somewhat restrained by the flight crew and other passengers," CNN reported.

The FAA told Insider that the passenger "did not breach" the cockpit, but "did run at it."

Tiffany Miles, 36, told local news site WRAL in an interview that the incident was a total misunderstanding and that she wants an apology.

I started freaking out': Woman charged after American Airlines flight  diversion explains what led up to emergency landing | Flipboard

"What person in their right mind would go up to the cockpit while the pilot was flying the plane? It doesn't make sense," Miles told the news outlet as she explained that she got up and walked towards the bathroom in the direction of the cockpit.

Miles said that she asked a flight attendant for a cocktail — Jack Daniels on the rocks — before the flight took off and during, but was told no alcohol was being served on the flight, according to WRAL.

"I have anxiety," Miles said. "So, sometimes I need a cocktail to cool off and calm down."

Miles said that when she was out of her seat two flight attendants stopped her near the cockpit.

"I started freaking out because so many people started getting up on me," Miles told the news outlet. "I started freaking completely out, saying, 'This is not called for.'"

The flight crew wound up restraining Miles with zip ties aboard the flight until it landed safely back at the North Carolina airport, according to WRAL.

"The flight attendant told me I had to get up out of my chair or she was going to force me to the ground and put zip ties on me," Miles said. "I said, 'For what?!'"

"That made me go berserk," she said.

Cell phone video published by WRAL shows Miles being restrained as she says into the camera, "The question that I had asked was if I can get my drink. I have not threatened anyone."

Meanwhile, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was even briefed on the ordeal.

"FAA leadership has briefed me on today's flight diversion due to a Level 4 disruption on board," Buttigieg tweeted. "Thankful to all who helped ensure its safe arrival. As always, safety is our main concern and our top priority."

Miles was taken into custody by police after the plane landed at the North Carolina airport and she was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of illegal airport obstruction, records show. She was jailed and later released on bond.

However, law enforcement ultimately dismissed the charge against Miles following an investigation, the airport told Insider on Friday.

Law enforcement at Raleigh-Durham International Airport "was notified by the TSA of an attempted hijacking on board a flight that was being diverted to RDU on its way to Washington, DC," the airport told Insider in a statement.

"Due to the elevated nature of the call and information received at the time, law enforcement placed passenger Tiffany Miles in custody and initially charged her with a misdemeanor," the airport said.

The FBI told Insider "no further action is planned unless additional information or evidence comes to light."

Miles:  "Doc, I have anxiety."

Dr:  "Here's a script for Xanax."

Problem solved.

 

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On 2/25/2023 at 9:49 AM, RPM said:

"I have anxiety," Miles said. "So, sometimes I need a cocktail to cool off and calm down."

Ya know, the Rx for anxiety was a good suggestion and all but seems to me if those engineers can figure out a way to make those oxygen masks drop down from the overhead, they could figure out a way to make an emergency alcohol supply line drop down just as well. I dunno, two four to six ounces ought to take the edge off.

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14 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Ya know, the Rx for anxiety was a good suggestion and all but seems to me if those engineers can figure out a way to make those oxygen masks drop down from the overhead, they could figure out a way to make an emergency alcohol supply line drop down just as well. I dunno, two four to six ounces ought to take the edge off.

Why not give away gummies after 20 minutes till boarding announcement? They can all have company tie-ins. Southwest could have a little heart shaped gummy‘s.  Delta could have little triangles.  American could have gummy’s that look like a little pile of dog shit….you know

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1 minute ago, Gatorubet said:

Why not give away gummies after 20 minutes till boarding announcement? They can all have company tie-ins. Southwest could have a little heart shaped gummy‘s.  Delta could have little triangles.  American could have gummy’s that look like a little pile of dog shit….you know

Yes. Collect them all! Push them for kids too. Tie in with Marvel or Harry Potter. “Be your very own wizard!” 

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On 1/29/2023 at 8:56 AM, RPM said:

F'n unions.

fuck off.  Delta has no union, and they have the same situation

On 1/30/2023 at 1:55 AM, DallasGatr said:

I fly one or two Trans-oceanic round trips/month (usually on AA.) At least 75% of the cat-ranchers (old F/A’s) are worthless/bitter or simply ornery. Probably 50% of the hot (or at least younger) girls have a similar makeup. My dream date on these long flights are the ones who give a s***, and those are the gays.

These results seem similar on other US carriers. Probably to a lesser degree on the Euros. The desert folks are solid, but the cream in service are the Asians. Gold star across the board. (And not just because of the weekly weigh-ins.)

I had an old queen that decided 6 beers was enough on my LAX-NRT flight.  I'm like "motherfucker, I've been on the plane 5 fucking hours.  I'm not even buzzed".  

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This motherfucker is beyond stupid. Does he get off to playing pretend air marshall or was he looking to hijack a plane?

 

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/seretse-clouden-charged-boarding-plane-machine-gun-fake-us-marshal-badge-taser-tsa/

A New Jersey man faces multiple federal criminal charges after he allegedly attempted to board an airplane with firearms, ammunition, a bulletproof vest and fraudulent law enforcement credentials, authorities said this week. Two semi-automatic rifles were among the weapons found inside the man's checked baggage at Newark Liberty International Airport last December, according to a recent complaint.

Seretse Clouden, identified as a 42-year-old originally from Bergen County, is accused of carrying three firearms in his checked luggage when he entered the airport on Dec. 30 for a scheduled flight to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, the U.S. Department of Justice said in a news release announcing the case on Monday. 

Authorities say that agents with the Transportation Security Administration initially discovered two .40 caliber Glock magazines, each of which contained 15 rounds of ammunition, and a ballistic vest carrier in Clouden's luggage during a routine screening before the flight's departure. The words "Deputy Marshal" were displayed on the vest carrier, the Justice Department said.

When TSA agents proceeded to investigate other checked bags belonging to Clouden, they found a bevy of additional weapons, including some typically used and associated with American police officers. Along with a .40 caliber Glock 22 handgun, agents discovered a .308 caliber DPMS Panther Arms rifle and a 5.56 caliber AR-15 rifle — which meets the definition of a machine gun under the National Firearms Act — as well as an expandable baton, a spring-loaded knife and a taser, authorities said.

According to the criminal complaint, filed on Feb. 9 and signed by a task force officer at the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Clouden's luggage also contained forged identification documents like "United States Marshal" credentials bearing Clouden's name and photograph and a "United States Marshal" badge. The United States Marshals Service confirmed that Clouden was never employed by the agency, according to the Justice Department.

 

328107140_3403013706610256_4308038016201

 

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Was he possibly on his way to commit a crime elsewhere, not on the plane, posing as an LEO. Probably an organized (or disorganized) crime drug heist.

Does TSA randomly pick checked bags to scrutinize and got lucky this time or is everything scanned? If random, imagine how many times someone might have gotten away with it and no one being the wiser. That's a pretty big gamble to take.

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11 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Seretse Clouden, identified as a 42-year-old originally from Bergen County, is accused of carrying three firearms in his checked luggage when he entered the airport on Dec. 30 for a scheduled flight to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, the U.S. Department of Justice said in a news release announcing the case on Monday. 

..and some of the unaware participants at the Fort Lauderdale High School Class of 2001 reunion wondered, “Whatever happened to that weird guy we used to tease and call ‘Shitsy Cloud’?”

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On 2/25/2023 at 11:34 PM, crash_davis said:

Americans can be some stupid motherfuckers. Find an unexploded bomb on your trip to Israel. Let's bring it on the plane back to the US. Wait, what are all those people running for??????

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/american-family-israel-bomb-luggage-souvenir_n_626bf9ede4b029505df1cab6

Bad idea: picking up an old, unexploded bomb.

Worse idea: deciding to keep an old, unexploded bomb as a souvenir.

The absolute worst idea: transporting an old, unexploded bomb to the airport in your luggage and attempting to bring it on a plane.

A chaotic scene unfolded at Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv on Thursday after an American family attempted to pass through security with unexploded ordnance in their suitcase.

 

 

“Sir, did anyone else handle your luggage or has it been out of your possession?”

”Not since I packed a bomb in there.” 

Edited by 956 Worldwide
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On 1/29/2023 at 2:05 PM, Bevo said:

I was on a flight to Beijing on Northwest about 15 years ago and the flight attendants were out of control. They arrogated one of the bathrooms for personal use and were so rude to passengers that all the rows around me were laughing about it. The couple behind me, goes watch this, and rang for the stewardess. She came over after some time and they asked for a glass of water. She barked that they weren't currently doing service and we all laughed. She gave us all a dirty look and scolded us for asking for unnecessary items and went back to the back of the cabin. I guess all the airlines promote through seniority so the international flights probably get all the old hags. This was the bottom of that group. It was amusing in "the worst customer service ever" kind of way. But, threesome - no fucking way - not with that crew. They're probably all dead from old age now, anyway.

I flew a Russian carrier between Tashkent and a Russian regional capital and the FAs were spiting poison. They were all fine AF but nasty as hell, but then again it was a flight full of Uzbek men going as laborers, they weren’t that bad to me and the few babushkas going to visit family.

On the other hand they scared the shit out of the guest workers, first time I ever saw people sit the fuck back down as we taxied to the gate because those gals weren’t taking any rush the aisle bullshit. 

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4 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I flew a Russian carrier between Tashkent and a Russian regional capital and the FAs were spiting poison. They were all fine AF but nasty as hell, but then again it was a flight full of Uzbek men going as laborers, they weren’t that bad to me and the few babushkas going to visit family.

On the other hand they scared the shit out of the guest workers, first time I ever saw people sit the fuck back down as we taxied to the gate because those gals weren’t taking any rush the aisle bullshit. 

 

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I can't believe Radiohead didn't immediately reach out to him to express their solidarity with his worldview, and to invite him on tour with them.  

I have to admit an airplane full of strippers going to work the weekend shift in Detroit, while an unemployed UAW worker with no skills except smoking meth attempts to rescue them..."Taken Part 4: Deja Vu All Over Again" sounds like they're not even trying with the fucking franchise anymore.  

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