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closetohumping

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I wish FN would send Giada’s anorexic ass away. She’s not a chef, and is a bitch of a judge whatever she is on. You can tell Alex and Waxman have no respect for her. If you watch closely, my wife saw this as she considers Giada an insufferable cunt, she just licked her fork on these dishes. She didn’t take a complete bite. It’s documented she spits out everything she puts in her mouth on any show.

I think Cosentino could do great but he’s a bit rusty on the competition trail. Brooke Williamson is an absolute stone cold killer in these things. I would like to see some different cooks in this; so many Guy buds from GGG or his ranch kitchen shows.

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16 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:

 I would like to see some different cooks in this; so many Guy buds from GGG or his ranch kitchen shows.

I think it's a good mix of Food Network personalities (GGG, Iron Chef America, Next Food Network Star or Chopped) and Top Chef contestants.

16 come from the Food Network universe.  15 come from Top Chef.  And then one is from The Final Table.   Maybe more from outside the Top Chef/Food Network sphere for season 4 (The Final Table, Master Chef, etc.) 

Feels like someone finally decided Food Network can say the words "Top Chef" because it felt like for a long time, it was not blatantly mentioned on a Food Network competition show. 

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Intersting to me Alex isn't competing this time.  Agree with Texzilla on Giada.  She's terrible on these things.  Zero respect for her judging skill on these shows.  Surprised she's never fixed that beak of hers.  

Giada has made a ton of her money because of her once near perfect cleavage. She never wants to be shot in profile, just straight on, to keep that beak camouflaged. Flay was supposedly banging the shit out of her.
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I think it's a good mix of Food Network personalities (GGG, Iron Chef America, Next Food Network Star or Chopped) and Top Chef contestants.
16 come from the Food Network universe.  15 come from Top Chef.  And then one is from The Final Table.   Maybe more from outside the Top Chef/Food Network sphere for season 4 (The Final Table, Master Chef, etc.) 
Feels like someone finally decided Food Network can say the words "Top Chef" because it felt like for a long time, it was not blatantly mentioned on a Food Network competition show. 

I think Guy has been the leader in getting these chefs the ability to cross platforms. Until recently the two camps were separate. At one time Guy got a lot of shit from the fine dining chefs but now they flock to him. On his ranch cooking show he’ll have folks like Waxman, Voltaggio, Traci Des Jardin. His efforts for independents with DDD and then his foundation during Covid have been game changing.
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7 minutes ago, pepper brooks said:

By all account Guy is a great guy and extremely charitable and has used his platform to help others in need.  Sure his "act" can come off as douchey, but i never got the sense he was not a genuine guy at all.  Not sure why Bordain felt the need to shit all over him.  

He clearly is a good dude who has amassed many friends and showcased local or not well known chefs to raise their profiles.
 

Most of these chefs are Iron Chefs or Top Chef winners/runners up and willingly go be on his show to run around a grocery store and cook with canned artichokes and frozen popsicles in 25 minutes. Or in TOC, use a snowcone machine lol

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By all account Guy is a great guy and extremely charitable and has used his platform to help others in need.  Sure his "act" can come off as douchey, but i never got the sense he was not a genuine guy at all.  Not sure why Bordain felt the need to shit all over him.  

Bourdain’s incessant shitting on Guy was about when I quit following him. I liked him from Kitchen Confidential but his later years he was just bitter and irritable. It’s horrible he left his daughter behind because he couldn’t handle his terrible girlfriend.
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10 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:


If I’m not mistaken he got Giada’d. She didn’t appear to actually eat either dish, just licking a fork. She is a cunt.

Showing her age too.  Couple of bad angles of her.  Not that I wouldn't.

 

Also, feels like a girl powerish type movement, I know it's blind judging.  I feel bad for Volt of the East, great chef who just can't win.  I thought the Indian lady who won last year sort of got lucky as well.  As did Tiffany Derry.  Speaking of Tiffany, the one that took out Volt of the East is annoying as hell.

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Showing her age too.  Couple of bad angles of her.  Not that I wouldn't.
 
Also, feels like a girl powerish type movement, I know it's blind judging.  I feel bad for Volt of the East, great chef who just can't win.  I thought the Indian lady who won last year sort of got lucky as well.  As did Tiffany Derry.  Speaking of Tiffany, the one that took out Volt of the East is annoying as hell.

Bryan Voltaggio is to the top chef world what Amanda Freitag is to the FN side: the perennial number 2. Freitag is a badass chef just like Bryan.

Tiffany Ferry’s new place Roots is great. Chicken fried in duck fat. $56 for a chicken dinner.

I think this sets up as Brooke vs Michael Voltaggio, but I think Shirley Chung, Elizabeth Faulkner, and Michael Psilakis could do some serious damage
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39 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


Bryan Voltaggio is to the top chef world what Amanda Freitag is to the FN side: the perennial number 2. Freitag is a badass chef just like Bryan.

Tiffany Ferry’s new place Roots is great. Chicken fried in duck fat. $56 for a chicken dinner.

I think this sets up as Brooke vs Michael Voltaggio, but I think Shirley Chung, Elizabeth Faulkner, and Michael Psilakis could do some serious damage

Pliakis is dangerous as fuck.  Speaking of Greeks, get Michael Simon on this.  

 

Volt of the west has this tortured soul thing going.

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There are several on here who I think have gone to Guy to fix their careers. Tiffany Faison was the “I’m not your bitch, bitch” of Her original TC and her all stars season, the big tough ass bull. She finally figured out all these other chefs were making money as losers because fans love them. So she’s lost weight, softened her attitude, and is getting shots as a judge on Chopped and ToC.

Same with Maurice Vigneron. A really good chef who has taken the Guy treatment. Justin Warner blew it with his irritating Alton Brown know it all was but without charm. His pilot fizzled and he disappeared. He got married and moved to North Dakota as the chef for the ND Beef Council and humbled; Guy started putting him on all his shows. And Philip Franklin Lee was on TC as a vegetarian fruitloop and Guy set his ass straight.

I would like to see Stephanie Izard, John Tesar. Kent Rathbun, Sarah Gruneberg, Hugh Acheson on this. Waxman would be great but he seems to have stepped back to being a judge.

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On 3/10/2022 at 10:49 AM, Texzilla58 said:

There are several on here who I think have gone to Guy to fix their careers. Tiffany Faison was the “I’m not your bitch, bitch” of Her original TC and her all stars season, the big tough ass bull. She finally figured out all these other chefs were making money as losers because fans love them. So she’s lost weight, softened her attitude, and is getting shots as a judge on Chopped and ToC.

Same with Maurice Vigneron. A really good chef who has taken the Guy treatment. Justin Warner blew it with his irritating Alton Brown know it all was but without charm. His pilot fizzled and he disappeared. He got married and moved to North Dakota as the chef for the ND Beef Council and humbled; Guy started putting him on all his shows. And Philip Franklin Lee was on TC as a vegetarian fruitloop and Guy set his ass straight.

I would like to see Stephanie Izard, John Tesar. Kent Rathbun, Sarah Gruneberg, Hugh Acheson on this. Waxman would be great but he seems to have stepped back to being a judge.

Marcel was the one who got put in a headlock by Cliff right?  Ironically Cliff has his own FN show I think.  Marcel must've been a real prick as his TC cast members hated his guts.  Great cook though.  

 

The guy I want to make a comeback is Austinite Paul Qui. 

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Marcel was the one who got put in a headlock by Cliff right?  Ironically Cliff has his own FN show I think.  Marcel must've been a real prick as his TC cast members hated his guts.  Great cook though.  
 
The guy I want to make a comeback is Austinite Paul Qui. 

Yep. That 2nd season of TC was nuts. Betty Fraser got a hair up her ass about Marcel, who was a bit too enamoured with agar agar and foams. Cliff would have probably won had he not gotten drunked up with the other dudes and put him in a headlock. Actually several of the men should have been kicked out. Elia and Ilan then shaved their heads before whining endlessly to the judges about Marcel. Based on the food on the show it looked like Marcel whipped ilan’s ass but rumor is Colicchio pushed Ilan through for the win.

Paul Qui is going to need to move someplace else and start over. He’ll never overcome Austin’s cancel culture.
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42 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


Yep. That 2nd season of TC was nuts. Betty Fraser got a hair up her ass about Marcel, who was a bit too enamoured with agar agar and foams. Cliff would have probably won had he not gotten drunked up with the other dudes and put him in a headlock. Actually several of the men should have been kicked out. Elia and Ilan then shaved their heads before whining endlessly to the judges about Marcel. Based on the food on the show it looked like Marcel whipped ilan’s ass but rumor is Colicchio pushed Ilan through for the win.

Paul Qui is going to need to move someplace else and start over. He’ll never overcome Austin’s cancel culture.

I was rooting for Marcel but I thought he hitched the finale

 

another turd is dale talde. He seems to have had his image rehabbed as well

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39 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


 Based on the food on the show it looked like Marcel whipped ilan’s ass but rumor is Colicchio pushed Ilan through for the win.
 

lol. In the finale, Marcel forgot his protein in one course since he left it in the walk in and his molecular gastronomy experiment in another course failed completely so he just served a boring cucumber and radish salad with yuzu vinaigrette. I'm a big Marcel fan but if you actually watched the episode it didn't look like Marcel won at all. I love this idea how there's some conspiracy to why he lost despite this.

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lol. In the finale, Marcel forgot his protein in one course since he left it in the walk in and his molecular gastronomy experiment in another course failed completely so he just served a boring cucumber and radish salad with yuzu vinaigrette. I'm a big Marcel fan but if you actually watched the episode it didn't look like Marcel won at all. I love this idea how there's some conspiracy to why he lost despite this.

I will go rewatch it as it’s been a million years ago. I primarily remember the whining of Elia and Ilan. Always thought Ilan was a douche, and Elia an underachiever under pressure.

Marcel does have a history of doing great concepts with a execution fail; like undercooked fried chicken in what should have been a killer dish.

Eric Ripert and Tracy Des Jardin as judges kinda makes Giada look like shit.
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Every judge makes Giada looks like shit.

Also, regarding the upsets on Sunday:

Spoiler

I am not at all surprised Darnell lost.   Guy likes him and he upset Alex G. in TOC 1 as an 8 seed and then immediately lost in round 1 last year in a 4x5 upset to Marc Murphy.  Neither of those afforded him a 1 seed this year.  To be fair - East Coast B is a bit weak overall, it feels like the NIT of the TOC. 

He won in TOC 1 because Alex G really treated her randomizer equipment as an afterthought.  Which is exactly what he did on Sunday against Sampath.

If you don't know or are not that familiar with the randomizer equipment, why would you wait until there's less than 5 minutes left to even look at it?  Sampath unpeeling her beets and using it to tie the meat was genius.  Hello - use the equipment AND the vegetable at the same time.  DF tried a pear and then an apple. 

 

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Every judge makes Giada looks like shit.
Also, regarding the upsets on Sunday:
Spoiler

I am not at all surprised Darnell lost.   Guy likes him and he upset Alex G. in TOC 1 as an 8 seed and then immediately lost in round 1 last year in a 4x5 upset to Marc Murphy.  Neither of those afforded him a 1 seed this year.  To be fair - East Coast B is a bit weak overall, it feels like the NIT of the TOC. 
He won in TOC 1 because Alex G really treated her randomizer equipment as an afterthought.  Which is exactly what he did on Sunday against Sampath.
If you don't know or are not that familiar with the randomizer equipment, why would you wait until there's less than 5 minutes left to even look at it?  Sampath unpeeling her beets and using it to tie the meat was genius.  Hello - use the equipment AND the vegetable at the same time.  DF tried a pear and then an apple. 

 


As I recall Madison Cowan went directly to Guy at the end of his match seeking special dispensation. Why do we have to hear endlessly that Cowan as some magnanimous loser. “He gets the first invite to ToC4!” Whatever.

And your spoiler is dead on.
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On 3/15/2022 at 7:52 AM, Texzilla58 said:


I will go rewatch it as it’s been a million years ago. I primarily remember the whining of Elia and Ilan. Always thought Ilan was a douche, and Elia an underachiever under pressure.

Marcel does have a history of doing great concepts with a execution fail; like undercooked fried chicken in what should have been a killer dish.

Eric Ripert and Tracy Des Jardin as judges kinda makes Giada look like shit.

Elia was crying big time because she knew she couldn't win. It was oft putting. Ilan has been quiet.  I think he did pop back up as a mentor on the Portland TC, but overall, nothign.

On 3/15/2022 at 9:30 AM, Js1 said:

Every judge makes Giada looks like shit.

Also, regarding the upsets on Sunday:

  Reveal hidden contents

I am not at all surprised Darnell lost.   Guy likes him and he upset Alex G. in TOC 1 as an 8 seed and then immediately lost in round 1 last year in a 4x5 upset to Marc Murphy.  Neither of those afforded him a 1 seed this year.  To be fair - East Coast B is a bit weak overall, it feels like the NIT of the TOC. 

He won in TOC 1 because Alex G really treated her randomizer equipment as an afterthought.  Which is exactly what he did on Sunday against Sampath.

If you don't know or are not that familiar with the randomizer equipment, why would you wait until there's less than 5 minutes left to even look at it?  Sampath unpeeling her beets and using it to tie the meat was genius.  Hello - use the equipment AND the vegetable at the same time.  DF tried a pear and then an apple. 

 

Loved both upsets.  I thought the first episode, a couple of the favorites got lucky.   But also thought Derry shouldn't have beaten Hollingsworth.

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We were hoping Jet would jab an ice pick into that annoying as fuck kid’s brain.

Hated the early pairing of Falkner and Cosentino as both are badasses.

It seems they have simplified some of the proteins to make more casual dishes. Maybe that’s because ground bison takes less time. I want to see them cooking with hamachi collar or sweetbreads or octopus.

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My live thoughts:

 

Christian vs Tobias- damn Christian left the sauce off? Come on man.  Tobias played it way too safe and what's with cutting the steak in half and throwing it on the plate?  And putting the sauce in the cookie cutter?  Unimaginative. I think christian should win------Tobias takes it. Not a bad call but I think Christian is the more talented chef.

 

Michael Greek chef but not Michael Simon vs Einat Alimony- Thinking Psialiakis should take this. Einat's was creative but dry-looking.  Hmmm. Michael's doesn't look too successful either.  And she takes the W.

 

So two of my favs just lost.

 

 

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13 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:


Hated Cosentino vs Falkner as I like both of them.

Some of these 3/6 and 4/5 are infuriating because both chefs are so equally matched and it could go either way (as those 2 seeded matchups are supposed to) so it's excruciatingly frustrating because one has to lose. 

Derry/Hollingsworth
May/Malarkey
Cosentina/Faulkner
Psilakis/Admony

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I know they supposedly had some system they used to rank and seed the chefs but I’d rather see it be a blind chance setting where they pull 32 numbers blindly and throw them in the brackets.

And next year I’d like the same judges for each round. With real heavyweights like Ripert and Waxman. No fucking food haters like Giada.

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4 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Cosentino/Falkner was a heart breaker, both deserved to win.  I thought Jet Tila went the easy way out.  He probably makes Banh Xeo in his sleep.  But he deserved the win.

I mean, an egg on puff pastry was pretty WTF

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3 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:

I would like to see a mass blind seeding. Pull a ball numbered 1-32. There are your seeds. Maybe reseed every round. The region thing is a silly gimmick. Just go at it.

I think he wants it to be as close to the NCAA tourney as possible, though that tourney has teams not tied to geographic regions.

 

 

A lot of narrow victories tonight.  Battle 3 was awesome but I didn't agree with the decision.

 

Maneet continues to get lucky. 

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The other thing are the “reporters”. That does insert an element that adds sight to blind tasting. Both these guys have histories of being assholes and dickheads. Some of these judges might have histories with Simon judging them harshly on Iron Chef or other shows. Some might have dealt with Justin when he was an annoying jerk on his early shows. I’d have the dishes described by an anonymous announcer.

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9 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:

Pretty mundane episode with some bad decisions. Cooking shit I don’t eat: razor clams, skate, swordfish, even clams. Nope on all of them.

The seafood episode. Like make that randomizer not random when it’s all seafood. Also they need to mix and match judges with different cuisine expertise 

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The seafood episode. Like make that randomizer not random when it’s all seafood. Also they need to mix and match judges with different cuisine expertise 

Scott Conant basically lives judging dishes made out of hawg asshole and fruity pebbles syrup . Rocco deSpirito? Another Guy rescue project. A douchebag. Had that disastrous show in NBC, then became a healthy chef, now back begging for any exposure. He ain’t Waxman and Ripert. And Nancy Silverton is just a weirdo; when I lived in San Francisco her Boulevard was my favorite restaurant.

Next year Guy needs to expand to 64, and have more star power on the chef and judge side, with less guy buds on here.

Mike Voltaggio vs Brooke should be a three course full hour wrestle Royal cage match.
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12 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


Scott Conant basically lives judging dishes made out of hawg asshole and fruity pebbles syrup . Rocco deSpirito? Another Guy rescue project. A douchebag. Had that disastrous show in NBC, then became a healthy chef, now back begging for any exposure. He ain’t Waxman and Ripert. And Nancy Silverton is just a weirdo; when I lived in San Francisco her Boulevard was my favorite restaurant.

Next year Guy needs to expand to 64, and have more star power on the chef and judge side, with less guy buds on here.

Mike Voltaggio vs Brooke should be a three course full hour wrestle Royal cage match.

Where is someone like Marcus Samuelsson who isn't just known for Italian cooking like Giada, Rocco and Scott.   Give me some diversity in judging. 

64 would rock, and either stretch the season out or do 2 episodes per week. One two-hour episode per week is not giving enough time to some of these battles.  Like you said, you could a whole hour just for Voltaggio and Brooke's battle. 

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Where is someone like Marcus Samuelsson who isn't just known for Italian cooking like Giada, Rocco and Scott.   Give me some diversity in judging. 
64 would rock, and either stretch the season out or do 2 episodes per week. One two-hour episode per week is not giving enough time to some of these battles.  Like you said, you could a whole hour just for Voltaggio and Brooke's battle. 

I don’t give a damn about diversity: I want great chefs judging here. Waxman, Ripert, Silverton, Moonen, Bayless should be judging; not a hack like Giada or Rocco. Samuelson I put in the hacks group; maybe he just irritates me.
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On 4/3/2022 at 8:37 PM, Texzilla58 said:

Pretty mundane episode with some bad decisions. Cooking shit I don’t eat: razor clams, skate, swordfish, even clams. Nope on all of them.

You're missing out bro.  It's good stuff.  

 

On 4/4/2022 at 7:49 AM, Texzilla58 said:


Scott Conant basically lives judging dishes made out of hawg asshole and fruity pebbles syrup . Rocco deSpirito? Another Guy rescue project. A douchebag. Had that disastrous show in NBC, then became a healthy chef, now back begging for any exposure. He ain’t Waxman and Ripert. And Nancy Silverton is just a weirdo; when I lived in San Francisco her Boulevard was my favorite restaurant.

Next year Guy needs to expand to 64, and have more star power on the chef and judge side, with less guy buds on here.

Mike Voltaggio vs Brooke should be a three course full hour wrestle Royal cage match.

Voltaggio is hard to beat if he's on.  This one will be epic.

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  • closetohumping changed the title to Tournament of Champions thread

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