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Shout out to single parents


Wiler77

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5 hours ago, Wiler77 said:

I feel like the ship is sinking, and the wife has only been out of town for 24 hours.

Up at 545am to have 20 minutes to myself before getting the kids up.  Drop off/pick up from school because our carpool partner is unable to for 3 days.  Slammed at work.  Get kids fed early because we have to be at soccer fields at 6pm 2 nights in a row.  Get them cleaned up quickly so they are in bed shortly after 8pm.  Put in another 1-1.5hrs of work because of everything I missed taking care of the family.  Rinse and fucking repeat.

Holy shit.  So to all the single parents out there that have to do this day in and day out...

Baby Hat GIF

How many kids we talking about?

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58 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

I’m single dading it this week and would like to extend a hearty fuck you to grandparents in the daycare drop off line who have absolutely nowhere to be.

Tell them Costco is running a one day sale on Metamucil. 
That should get them moving.

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2 hours ago, Wiler77 said:

2 boys, aged 6 and 8.

Wife is out of town with the 11 year old.

It's 8:50pm...time to settle in for some email and powerpoint.

Two ain't that bad for a weekend or so. Add a third and things are like that worst timeline gif from community. My wife stays home with a 6 (just started school, so a bit of a break, but she has to be out of the house pretty early with all of them), 3, and 1.5 year old. I think I could handle it for like a week.

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Between 2005 and 2012 I was in Iraq and Afghanistan for about 4 of those years.  I'd do a year tour (2 years one time) with a couple of weeks home every 3-6 months.  That time was much harder on my wife than it was on me.  All I had to worry about was me and work.  She had the boys to take care of.  Between sports, scouts, and all the other crap that our kids get involved in, she kept everything going. 

About 5 years or so ago my wife started a job that kept her on the road Monday thru Friday for a couple of months.  You'd think that I had never parented prior to that.  I had a very rough time.

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I can handle one on my own like a champ, watching two by myself is a beating.  I can't imagine three.  

I don't know how in the ever living fuck my mother raised us for most of our childhoods on her own.  My two half-sisters and myself (my half-brother was raised by his mom) were quite self-sufficient and operated well alone but still, my oldest half-sister was an emotional/psychological shitshow in constant trouble and drama.  My middle sister has Down's Syndrome, is high-functioning but still required a good deal of care.  And then me.  But I don't remember missing a practice because she couldn't drive me.  Never remember missing a hot meal.  Never went without clean clothes for school.   and mom worked a good bit of those years as well.  Plus she was always taking care of one of her nieces or sisters or some shit.  and did it all on a shoestring budget.  Then I hear the wives of my friend's and neighbors complain about how hard raising kids is with all the driving and dance lessons and meeting the lawn guys at a certain time and I think about my wife and how well she handles our family.  And then I think about Mom and the millions of other single parents like her and how my craziest, most exhausting day watching my kids is what every single hour of every day of every year is for them with absolutely no break, ever.  

This morning, oldest's elementary school had a Veteran's Day assembly and I met some active duty folks and didn't realize some of her classmates are effectively being raised by single moms while (and one dad whose wife is USAF) spouse is abroad.  That has to be the most challenging parenting situation.  I salute all single parents, especially them.  I don't know y'all do it, but I'm glad you're doing it.  

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43 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I can handle one on my own like a champ, watching two by myself is a beating.  I can't imagine three. 

It’s just like going from 1 to 2. I am about 2 years ahead on age, iirc. Which is a huge deal.  And it matters where you are. I took my oldest to her first UT game a few weeks ago, and 2 would have been impossible (mostly due to restrooms), but also the crowds. 

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Yeah, that we don’t have Election Day AND/OR Veteran’s day off is some seriously unpatriotic shit.  But some greaseball conman using Spanish ships and Portuguese navigators who once walked around Modern day Haiti gets his own fucking U.S. federal holiday?  ‘Murica…fuck yeah!

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Man, in hindsight my parents had it easy. By the time I was 10 I was getting up on my own (nobody "woke me up for school"). making my own "breakfast" (Raisin Bran or a microwaved muffin or biscuit), walking to the nearest school bus stop a half mile away (why do kids today have the bus practically stop in front of every house?), etc.  Uphill, in the snow, etc.

To be fair my dad did take me fishing a lot but mainly because it gave him a chance to drink and be away from the wife.

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37 minutes ago, Nivek said:

It is always a shock to the parent who doesn’t do it. Then you settle into a routine and it becomes the norm and you find better ways to handle and head off situations, drama, etc.

Definitely this.   Been doing it every other week for 12 years.   Props to those who doing it 365.  But yes you figure out a system.  Plus there are always tons of parents who are willing to help with pick ups and shared rides.  esp when they get into sports.   Your kids also get more independent too.  Once everyone realizes you can actually wait outside a school for 15 or 20 mins and don't get kidnapped and you can leave your kids home for a bit without the house being burned down or a gang of murders casing your house.

 

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I watched my own boys no problem, regardless of ages or timeline.  My kids. No worries.

Ask me to watch someone else's kids for 15 minutes, and I would lose my fucking mind.

Full disclosure- I was raised by a single-mom and to this day, I have all the respect in the world for her doing so.  There were times while raising my own kids that i was so f'ing grateful to have a partner.  Just let me tap out and go shoot some baskets at the park or some shit.  My mom taught us a shit-ton about patience, perseverance, and commitment of which I wouldn't gain full understanding until years later.

Single parents can be straight up badasses.  I salute thee.

 

 

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I did 2 every other week from 2008 till this fall, and get on really well with my coparent.  It got easier when I met my second wife, but still, it was a fucking beating at times.
 

I remain eternally jealous of people that have grandparents living in their local community who they can call in for close air support.

And to @Brothahorn: Benedryl is a single parent’s best friend.

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