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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread


Prepuce of Doom

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fox kept airing a commercial last night about women overcoming systemic oppression, and how all of the women in the commercial were told they couldn't make it be wise they're women, including sound bites like, "she can't do it, she's a woman." the entire commercial was about female chefs. 

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really? everyone tells women they can't cook? riiiiight. just like all of those famous stereotypes about how black people cant play basketball, and how asians are bad at math. 

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also, can anyone here tell me what in the hell @Eskimohorn is rambling on about? because what it sounds like he's doing is claiming that I, the one dude who came to this thread to talk about the fact black women only seem to make it in commercials if they fit one very specific, light skinnned, non threatening look, is talking shit to me about how i apparently don't like black women? that's correct yes? if so, wow. that's some impressive stupidity and butthurt right there.

Edited by shadow_operative
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also, can anyone here tell me what in the hell [mention=689]Eskimohorn[/mention] is rambling on about? because what it sounds like he's doing is claiming that I, the one dude who came to this thread to talk about the fact black women only seem to make it in commercials if they fit one very specific, light skinnned, non threatening look, is talking shit to me about how i apparently don't like black women? that's correct yes? if so, wow. that's some impressive stupidity and butthurt right there.

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The Amazon commercial playing on the free streaming apps like Pluto where a hirsute teenage girl learns to deal with her developing mustache by trying to look like Freddie Mercury and bobbing her head and dancing to music played on her headphones in front of her shocked class mates.  Because nothing says “just be yourself” like taking on a “rocker girl” persona to hide the fact that you are a 15 girl with a porn ‘stache.  


And before I’m gonna take any of you white knights who come in here to defend girls with facial hair seriously, I’m gonna need to see a pic of your wife’s mustache.

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The SodaStream commercial jingle that I thought was Cardi B (because little high pitch “purr” thing that I think I hear) but is actually Lizzo…… does that dumbass really try to rhyme “dehydrated” and “inspiration?”  

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I think one of the Jared commercials was a couple (filmed black and white…… of course) with her explaining that she had some serious health issues and he stayed by her every step of the way and helped her walk again.   And she got a ring and he didn’t because…?

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I mostly stream, but when I see commericials, I get so tired of the portrayal of taking a pill as somehow heroic. Arise Trumfiant! Take arms against COPD! Prove your mettle by risking your perineum to fight Crohn's disease! Face your bladder on the battlefield and crush its hyperactiveness like Achilles destroyed Hector! Drag your bladder trimphantly behind your chariot as you circle the glorious walls of Big Pharma!

You'll be looking defiantly at the camera, running up hills, and playing pickleball with the grandkids!

Don't take if you're allergic to it! How the fuck would you know until you took it?

 

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This fucking Ram truck commercial where the country music harpy holds a sustained 5 second shriek at the end… I want everyone involved waterboarded with electrified nipple clamps while their cockadoody feet are beaten like James Caan’s in Misery.

 

 

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Let’s just go ahead and add every commercial during the NCAA tournament.  I don’t care how good they are, after seeing them a million times, you will hate them.  Already done with ATT Lily, she even looks like she hates being in these pieces of shit.  The Capital One commercials get stupider every year.  Feel free to add your “favorites”.

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The Amazon commercial playing on the free streaming apps like Pluto where a hirsute teenage girl learns to deal with her developing mustache by trying to look like Freddie Mercury and bobbing her head and dancing to music played on her headphones in front of her shocked class mates.  Because nothing says “just be yourself” like taking on a “rocker girl” persona to hide the fact that you are a 15 girl with a porn ‘stache.  

And before I’m gonna take any of you white knights who come in here to defend girls with facial hair seriously, I’m gonna need to see a pic of your wife’s mustache.

As awful as that one is, my wife loves their spot with the large dog who gets used to his family being home, who then has separation anxiety and tears the place up. The result of the family ordering a crate to the deliver big dog a new little companion makes her tear up.
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On 3/14/2023 at 12:12 PM, Lhorn said:

The Amazon commercial playing on the free streaming apps like Pluto where a hirsute teenage girl learns to deal with her developing mustache by trying to look like Freddie Mercury and bobbing her head and dancing to music played on her headphones in front of her shocked class mates. 

It was on a local station this morning during the news so now even guys like my 80 year father can uncomfortably enjoy its terribleness 

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On 3/16/2023 at 6:46 PM, Scary Stranger said:

WTF. Did you see that Jack Links peeing Sasquatch commercial during March Madness?

 

23 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I couldn't believe it. 

I hope it's featured again because none of my friends happened to be catch it last night and nobody saw it today. 

I was at a work dinner and saw it on a corner tv in the restaurant and was like wtf, needless to say I had to point it out to the table lol

 

 

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On 3/15/2023 at 7:47 AM, RomaVicta said:

I mostly stream, but when I see commericials, I get so tired of the portrayal of taking a pill as somehow heroic. Arise Trumfiant! Take arms against COPD! Prove your mettle by risking your perineum to fight Crohn's disease! Face your bladder on the battlefield and crush its hyperactiveness like Achilles destroyed Hector! Drag your bladder trimphantly behind your chariot as you circle the glorious walls of Big Pharma!

You'll be looking defiantly at the camera, running up hills, and playing pickleball with the grandkids!

Don't take if you're allergic to it! How the fuck would you know until you took it?

 

You forgot “take your plaque psoriasis by the haunches and fuck it into submission!”  

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On 3/12/2023 at 11:32 AM, shadow_operative said:

fox kept airing a commercial last night about women overcoming systemic oppression, and how all of the women in the commercial were told they couldn't make it be wise they're women, including sound bites like, "she can't do it, she's a woman." the entire commercial was about female chefs. 

giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d71bizihueh8tvpsm84h

really? everyone tells women they can't cook? riiiiight. just like all of those famous stereotypes about how black people cant play basketball, and how asians are bad at math. 

Reminds me of this commercial which was so over the top douchy that I almost couldn’t believe that I had seen it.  From Super Bowl 2017


 

“Do I tell [my daughter] that despite her education, her drive, her skills, her intelligence…. She will automatically be valued as less than any man she ever meets….”

 

No one is telling or implying that girls.  Stop lying.

 

 

 

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10 hours ago, Covri said:

 

I was at a work dinner and saw it on a corner tv in the restaurant and was like wtf, needless to say I had to point it out to the table lol

 

 

That's revolting. They really want me thinking of that disgusting flood of cloudy urine spraying all over the floor when I see their product? If so, they've succeeded. Just eating that stuff in the bathroom was a bad start.

Edited by RomaVicta
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1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

That's revolting. They really want me thinking of that disgusting flood of cloudy urine spraying all over the floor when I see their product? If so, they've succeeded. Just eating that stuff in the bathroom was a bad start.

Beef jerky is a perfectly cromulent bathroom snack. 

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