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I caught the cancer


Burt

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Goodness, to lose two wives to the same disease?  I can't imagine.

My father-in-law couldn't possibly have a day or two more in him.  It's just brutal to watch.  He is wracked with pain, in and out of lucidity, and he's scared.

At least we got one more classic asshole moment:  one of my wife's siblings made a comment about having to sell off dozens of sets of spurs -- my FIL is an artist and a rabid collector of Texas and SW art and artifacts -- and he immediately came out of his stupor with a "FUCK NO".  Well done, Fred.

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21 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

At least we got one more classic asshole moment:  one of my wife's siblings made a comment about having to sell off dozens of sets of spurs -- my FIL is an artist and a rabid collector of Texas and SW art and artifacts -- and he immediately came out of his stupor with a "FUCK NO".  Well done, Fred.

Some other collector who appreciates them will benefit from wife's sibling's sloth and ignorance.

 

Me I don't know what I've got. Last scan showed the final lesion still small, but some new tiny ones <3mm trying to show off, and one new 6mm (1/4" for any moon residents) that Doc said on its own she wouldn't consider pathological, but with my history of spinning up monsters she was freaked about what to do. See, if I go back on Immunotherapy it's for a looong time. But right now no way to tell if this is real new cancer or random snot bubble.

So we are gonna let the thing get a little closer to the barricades, do another scan in 2 months, and if it grew, open up our squirrel guns and really give it hell. And it'll work or it won't. Meanwhile I'll walk around and have people tell me how healthy I look. I look MAHVELOUS.

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12 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Some other collector who appreciates them will benefit from wife's sibling's sloth and ignorance.

 

Me I don't know what I've got. Last scan showed the final lesion still small, but some new tiny ones <3mm trying to show off, and one new 6mm (1/4" for any moon residents) that Doc said on its own she wouldn't consider pathological, but with my history of spinning up monsters she was freaked about what to do. See, if I go back on Immunotherapy it's for a looong time. But right now no way to tell if this is real new cancer or random snot bubble.

So we are gonna let the thing get a little closer to the barricades, do another scan in 2 months, and if it grew, open up our squirrel guns and really give it hell. And it'll work or it won't. Meanwhile I'll walk around and have people tell me how healthy I look. I look MAHVELOUS.

PET or CT?  if the latter  - can they do the former to see if the snot bubbles light up?

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2 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

PET or CT?  if the latter  - can they do the former to see if the snot bubbles light up?

Pretty sure CT and we'll be looking to see if it's grown and is doing a maniacal laugh. But I've had PET before and I'm sure I will again. At the PET place here they play relaxing music like that scene in Soylent Green. That was nice.

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Sorry, @bluto.  We just went thru that sequence with my father in law, as I've related on this thread.  He passed yesterday.  

Honestly, I'm pretty disgusted with our "need" to keep people propped up who are clearly terminal and in pain.  He went out like a champ, but for pity's sake, the constant extension of hope didn't do him any favors.

I hope I get hit by a bus.

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Damn guys. Reading these updates are mostly a kick to the dick.  But, some fantastic news. 
 

i don’t have any words that haven’t been said already. 
 

there is no reason for any pain this day and age. Zero. There are so many medications that should just take all the pain and fears away when you get to the final days and hours. 
 

Just love everyone as hard as you can. This is the ultimate putting things in prospective thread; this piece is shit disease will impact every single person in one way or the other. 
 

i went 37 years with no family members with cancer, and then lost 5 close family members in 5 years.   Aunt, 3x uncle, and mom. 
 

Love to you all

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2 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Sorry, @bluto.  We just went thru that sequence with my father in law, as I've related on this thread.  He passed yesterday.  

Honestly, I'm pretty disgusted with our "need" to keep people propped up who are clearly terminal and in pain.  He went out like a champ, but for pity's sake, the constant extension of hope didn't do him any favors.

I hope I get hit by a bus.

I hope to have sex with Gal Gadot. I guess different strokes for different folks.

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Kevorkian was right.  Everyone should have the right to check out gracefully.  I'd rather push the damn button myself after a 3 day party than wait until I have to be so loaded up with drugs just to mask the pain.  My particular prognosis is likely to be "good" all things considered, but if I ever hear that I have more than I can overcome?  I'm having a party and then walking out to the woods to do what needs to be done.

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Kevorkian was right.  Everyone should have the right to check out gracefully.  I'd rather push the damn button myself after a 3 day party than wait until I have to be so loaded up with drugs just to mask the pain.  My particular prognosis is likely to be "good" all things considered, but if I ever hear that I have more than I can overcome?  I'm having a party and then walking out to the woods to do what needs to be done.

Some friends of ours recently traveled to Switzerland for that exact purpose. He had ALS. He was able to check out himself, on his own terms.
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1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:


Some friends of ours recently traveled to Switzerland for that exact purpose. He had ALS. He was able to check out himself, on his own terms.

I know someone who just passed from ALS - She declined so fast after diagnosis that I don't think she would have had time to travel to Switzerland. She went from fine to feeding tube to death in less than a month and a half. OTOH, Stephen Hawking lived 55 years. It is a highly variable disease progression.

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After you ask your wife about Gal, she'll probably offer to drive the bus.

My dad brought up moving to Hawaii so that he would be eligible to invoke their Death with Dignity act when his time comes (he's worried about dementia, not cancer at present).  He and I are both docs, and he asked me if I had any ethical, professional, or spiritual reservations about that.  I was like,

The Big Lebowski What GIF by MOODMAN

Medicine is supposed to be about the relief of suffering.  Some suffering is meaningless and cruel.  Although progress is slow, I'm glad to see that we are shifting toward providing that relief.

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On 5/14/2023 at 10:21 AM, Hate said:

I’m kind of in a holding pattern. I’ve got my appointments at MD Anderson, but they aren’t until July. They don’t seem too concerned about mine spreading or they would have moved me up. I have a meeting with a surgeon and an oncologist to discuss treatment paths. Until then, there isn’t too much to say. Every once in a while it does hit me, but it all still seems surreal. I’m sure it will become more real once July rolls around.

Just out of curiosity, how did you learn it was aggressive? Did you take a genomics test? Also, spend some time to get educated on the different treatment options and their pros and cons. Whoever you meet with will likely push one type of treatment. A surgeon will recommend surgery. A radiation oncolologist will recommend radiation of some type. There are about 20 different treatment options. Try www.PCf.org. 

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Just out of curiosity, how did you learn it was aggressive? Did you take a genomics test? Also, spend some time to get educated on the different treatment options and their pros and cons. Whoever you meet with will likely push one type of treatment. A surgeon will recommend surgery. A radiation oncolologist will recommend radiation of some type. There are about 20 different treatment options. Try www.PCf.org. 

It is not the aggressive kind. I’m fortunate that way. I almost feel like is shouldn’t post in this thread because what I have is 100% survivable. I may choose the radiation option or I may choose the surgery route. You can search the implications of prostate cancer if you want…let’s just say that the results of either path are less than desirable. I’d almost rather have a different kind of equally treatable cancer.
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2 minutes ago, Damor said:

I hate that this thread exists.

I love all of you fuckers posting in it.

I sort of view it as my duty to cheer some people up.  If you are in the hospital getting chemo you deserve a slutty Emma Watson gif when you click on this thread to update us on your status.

Doing My Part Reaction GIF

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On 5/23/2023 at 12:31 AM, bluto said:

hardest part is my mom went into it thinking it wasn’t going to be too bad of a report for some reason even though all the signs and history said otherwise, not sure if delusion or denial. It hit hard. Not much sleep happening tonight. 

I’m truly sorry y’all are having to deal with this. Best wishes for your Dad, your Mom, and all of your family.

Regarding your Mom, I totally understand her mindset. Delusion and/or denial was the coping mechanism that allowed me to somewhat keep my sanity while I was caring for my wife as she was fighting a losing battle with cancer. After all, she was being treated by the best in the world - MD Anderson. They can fix everybody, right? 

That’s the mindset I had, and I suspect your Mom has. To think otherwise, well, you just don’t allow your mind to go there. It’s too terrible to contemplate while there is still a chance that things can get better.

I’m pulling for y’all that things can get better.

 

 

 

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One year ago today I got the "you got cancer" call.  Been a helluva a year.  Fight's not over, but the roughest part hopefully is.  Getting an MRI of the brain today.  They just want to make sure the daily nausea I'm having isn't brain related.  And another esophagogastroduodonoscopy next Wednesday.  My 4th.  But minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of things.  

Jesus Christ you twat. I was reading this thinking it was an update.
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It is not the aggressive kind. I’m fortunate that way. I almost feel like is shouldn’t post in this thread because what I have is 100% survivable. I may choose the radiation option or I may choose the surgery route. You can search the implications of prostate cancer if you want…let’s just say that the results of either path are less than desirable. I’d almost rather have a different kind of equally treatable cancer.

They cut out all sorts of shit when I was resected. Told me temporary or permanent ED was a possible side effect. But I was at MDAnderson and had a very skilled surgeon. Ended up with no side effects. How much do you trust your surgeon, exactly?
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16 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

One year ago today I got the "you got cancer" call.  Been a helluva a year.  Fight's not over, but the roughest part hopefully is.  Getting an MRI of the brain today.  They just want to make sure the daily nausea I'm having isn't brain related.  And another esophagogastroduodonoscopy next Wednesday.  My 4th.  But minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of things.  

Fuck yea dude🤘

I think you’ve earned the Kirk Gibson lawnmower fist pump 1000x over

los angeles dodgers baseball GIF

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They cut out all sorts of shit when I was resected. Told me temporary or permanent ED was a possible side effect. But I was at MDAnderson and had a very skilled surgeon. Ended up with no side effects. How much do you trust your surgeon, exactly?

I haven’t met him yet, but I’m going to MD Anderson fro treatment. And that’s one of the questions I need to ask. You read all of the stats on recovery and they say X percent have side effects. Well, I assume that a pretty good portion of that X percent didn’t go to a surgeon that uses robotics and does 7 or 8 of these a week as opposed to using their hands and doing 7 or 8 a year. I would assume the MD Anderson success rate is much higher. We’ll see.
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15 minutes ago, Stringer said:

Quoting myself for a little follow up.  

After 6 rounds, the levels were really low, but there, so we moved to a trial oral drug.  A couple of weeks into that, the cancer cells showed strong signs of regeneration.  It's not back yet, but it's coming sooner than later.  So, we are going to transplant as soon as we get insurance approvals (our medical system is broken) and get a donor set up.  Donors are identified, but they can't schedule until insurance is approved.

Basically, once we're all set, I'm going to Houston for roughly 100 days, 30ish in the hospital and 70ish isolated in an apartment near MD Anderson.  I can have one visitor at a time and need 24/7 monitoring when I get to the apartment.  I can't see my kids (3 and 6) the whole time we're going through this as they are germ factories.  I'm going to be super tired and beaten down the entire time and the recovery is brutal.  That's if things go great.

There is a also a 10-15% chance of mortality.  So, I could leave my house in a few weeks and never see my kids again.  I know that's true of everyone at any time, but it's different when you're choosing (right or wrongly) to put yourself in that position.  The good news is I am a healthy (you know, other than cancer) 41 year old with very good donor matches.  I am also going to be at MD Anderson where they do this all of the time and have a whole floor of just bone marrow transplants.  That decreases the mortality chances.

It's going to be tough road, but as long as I get to the other side, I don't care how hard it is.  Godspeed to all of you guys.

Head down and pedal to the metal.  You got this.  And the road to the other side is there.  Just keep fighting.  You got this.

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14 hours ago, Hate said:


It is not the aggressive kind. I’m fortunate that way. I almost feel like is shouldn’t post in this thread because what I have is 100% survivable. I may choose the radiation option or I may choose the surgery route. You can search the implications of prostate cancer if you want…let’s just say that the results of either path are less than desirable. I’d almost rather have a different kind of equally treatable cancer.

If it’s not aggressive and rated Gleeson 6, you might want to look at active surveillance. That has become acceptable practice even at the top hospitals like Mayo Clinic. 

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If it’s not aggressive and rated Gleeson 6, you might want to look at active surveillance. That has become acceptable practice even at the top hospitals like Mayo Clinic. 

My Gleason score is 3/4 (7) and 5 out of 12 samples came back cancerous.
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32 minutes ago, Hate said:


My Gleason score is 3/4 (7) and 5 out of 12 samples came back cancerous.

Ah, right that requires action. I’ll be interested in what you select. From what I’ve heard, some folks at MD Anderson are very pro- proton therapy. 

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Ah, right that requires action. I’ll be interested in what you select. From what I’ve heard, some folks at MD Anderson are very pro- proton therapy. 

I’ve got an appointment in July with the surgeon and then a team of oncologists. I’m likely choosing between the lesser of two shitty solutions, but I’ll make the best decision I can for the long term.
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  • 3 weeks later...

So I had a brain MRI as I have been dealing with really rough nausea and they can’t seem to figure it out.  The MRI didn’t figure that out, but showed a 5 mm lesion.  So met with the doc yesterday and he said, “well, looks like you had a minor stroke.”  I said well that’s just one theory right?  Well, no, that’s likely what happened.  No symptoms, beyond my normal cognitive shortcomings, but wasn’t very reassuring.  Going to meet with a neurologist, but it likely stems from the pulmonary embolisms I had some months back.  2 steps forward, one step back it seems.  
 

IMG_0786.jpeg

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23 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

So I had a brain MRI as I have been dealing with really rough nausea and they can’t seem to figure it out.  The MRI didn’t figure that out, but showed a 5 mm lesion.  So met with the doc yesterday and he said, “well, looks like you had a minor stroke.”  I said well that’s just one theory right?  Well, no, that’s likely what happened.  No symptoms, beyond my normal cognitive shortcomings, but wasn’t very reassuring.  Going to meet with a neurologist, but it likely stems from the pulmonary embolisms I had some months back.  2 steps forward, one step back it seems.  
 

IMG_0786.jpeg

That's why they design us with two brains. The big one goes out, you still have your dick to lead you around.

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  • 3 weeks later...

So today it hit home - Mrs Fairway was told that her mole removal tested positive for Melanoma, and she is scheduled to go in next week to have another biopsy and make sure the margins are clean. 

I'm asking for 2 things to help

- what should I read, google has a billion links, but I need to read real stuff; so I'm focusing on MD Anderson, Mayo, American Cancer Society
- tell me why we shouldn't be getting her to MD Anderson for evaluation and treatment (if they take our insurance, or even if they don't)

the hardest part right now it trying to breathe, be rational and not panic

(btw - this confirms that Surly is closer than family, as we haven' told anyone yet)

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You gotta make this decision on your own, with wife of course, but I have had two friends cured of Melanoma at MD Anderson. I have nothing but good to say about that place.

Peace to you and the spouse. 

I find The Mayo Clinic informative, accessible and up to date. Be sure to scroll down to find link to next section.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/melanoma/symptoms-causes/syc-20374884

Edited by Not that Bob
Reasons
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7 hours ago, Wally Fairway said:

So today it hit home - Mrs Fairway was told that her mole removal tested positive for Melanoma, and she is scheduled to go in next week to have another biopsy and make sure the margins are clean. 

I'm asking for 2 things to help

- what should I read, google has a billion links, but I need to read real stuff; so I'm focusing on MD Anderson, Mayo, American Cancer Society
- tell me why we shouldn't be getting her to MD Anderson for evaluation and treatment (if they take our insurance, or even if they don't)

the hardest part right now it trying to breathe, be rational and not panic

(btw - this confirms that Surly is closer than family, as we haven' told anyone yet)

Careful what you read on the internet.  I googled my way around and it led me to some real dark places.  Whatever medical center you go with, listen to your doctors.  City of Hope has been remarkable, but there are high quality hospitals all over.  Are you in Texas?  If so, Anderson's reputation is top flight.  Just don't panic.  Do the work you're told to do.  Show up where they tell you.  And soon enough, god willing, it'll be behind you.  Peace to you and your wife.  You got this.

I hate new entries on this thread.  Fuck you cancer, you cunt.  

Edited by Sbbruin
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On 5/25/2023 at 11:33 AM, Stringer said:

Quoting myself for a little follow up.  

After 6 rounds, the levels were really low, but there, so we moved to a trial oral drug.  A couple of weeks into that, the cancer cells showed strong signs of regeneration.  It's not back yet, but it's coming sooner than later.  So, we are going to transplant as soon as we get insurance approvals (our medical system is broken) and get a donor set up.  Donors are identified, but they can't schedule until insurance is approved.

Basically, once we're all set, I'm going to Houston for roughly 100 days, 30ish in the hospital and 70ish isolated in an apartment near MD Anderson.  I can have one visitor at a time and need 24/7 monitoring when I get to the apartment.  I can't see my kids (3 and 6) the whole time we're going through this as they are germ factories.  I'm going to be super tired and beaten down the entire time and the recovery is brutal.  That's if things go great.

There is a also a 10-15% chance of mortality.  So, I could leave my house in a few weeks and never see my kids again.  I know that's true of everyone at any time, but it's different when you're choosing (right or wrongly) to put yourself in that position.  The good news is I am a healthy (you know, other than cancer) 41 year old with very good donor matches.  I am also going to be at MD Anderson where they do this all of the time and have a whole floor of just bone marrow transplants.  That decreases the mortality chances.

It's going to be tough road, but as long as I get to the other side, I don't care how hard it is.  Godspeed to all of you guys.


give it hell. Fight it with everything you have 

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6 hours ago, Wally Fairway said:

So today it hit home - Mrs Fairway was told that her mole removal tested positive for Melanoma, and she is scheduled to go in next week to have another biopsy and make sure the margins are clean. 

I'm asking for 2 things to help

- what should I read, google has a billion links, but I need to read real stuff; so I'm focusing on MD Anderson, Mayo, American Cancer Society
- tell me why we shouldn't be getting her to MD Anderson for evaluation and treatment (if they take our insurance, or even if they don't)

the hardest part right now it trying to breathe, be rational and not panic

(btw - this confirms that Surly is closer than family, as we haven' told anyone yet)

Cancer kinda sucks, sorry to hear she got it.

I wouldn't google a damn thing. I did that and it was terrifying, and google doesn't tell you about the cutting-edge treatment that just got invented and that your doc is going to use to heal you.

As for hospitals in Texas, I know nothing. I'd just ask around and go to the best doctor you can find, not too old not too young. Then, let the doctor take care of the doctoring and y'all go enjoy life, because no matter what kind of cancer we get, it's still some mouthbreather watching TikTok videos while driving who's gonna take us out.

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7 hours ago, Wally Fairway said:

So today it hit home - Mrs Fairway was told that her mole removal tested positive for Melanoma, and she is scheduled to go in next week to have another biopsy and make sure the margins are clean. 

I'm asking for 2 things to help

- what should I read, google has a billion links, but I need to read real stuff; so I'm focusing on MD Anderson, Mayo, American Cancer Society
- tell me why we shouldn't be getting her to MD Anderson for evaluation and treatment (if they take our insurance, or even if they don't)

the hardest part right now it trying to breathe, be rational and not panic

(btw - this confirms that Surly is closer than family, as we haven' told anyone yet)

We went thru this.  My wife had a mole on the back of her neck that looked kinda funky.  Had a biopsy done and it came back melanoma.  I think it was Stage 2.  Went in and took a much longer and wider piece than I thought possible and the lymph nodes on either side of it.  Margins and lymph nodes came back clear.  No other issues in last 10 years other than wide brim hats, sun screen and long sleeve shirts when out in the sun.

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