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Mkost

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Posts posted by Mkost

  1. 10 hours ago, Nivek said:


    You would skip the strangle cause Blippi would likely kick your ass. My kid loved Blippi when he was 3 and his Garbage Truck toy is pretty well made.

    Yeah I’m sure he’d do that side kick bitch run thing with his arms flopping all over the place while squealing like a child the entire time until 5 feet away, where what, he switches channels and goes full Bruce Lee?  
     

    I’m completely confident the actual Bruce Lee would appear out of thin air in this scenario and instantly end him on the spot for attempting to “bitchify” Jeet Kune Do. 

  2. On 3/28/2020 at 5:26 PM, Rimbo said:

    This is the dumbest motherfucking godawful children's tv show I've ever had the misfortune of having to suffer through. And I've lived through both Barney and the Teletubbies with my elder child.

    I mean, at least Barney had songs, and some semblance of dignity preserved by hiding inside a purple dinosaur costume.

    And Teletubbies had songs, too, and children thankfully outgrew it within moments.

    This is just episode after episode of this orange and purple wearing asshole dancing like a fucking dipshit in playgrounds intended for kids a fraction of his age, as if he belongs there.

    Seriously, folks. Where the fuck is Chris Hansens now that we fucking need him the most? Is he "social distancing" his ass away from Blippi?

    Praise God that there aren't liquor shortages in the stores. But there isn't enough liquor in the entire British Isles to make this dumbfuck shittery tolerable.

    Fuck. FUUUUUCK. IT'S FREE ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO. I should cancel my Prime account, just so my daughter can't ask to watch this fucking asshole any more. I can tell her, "Sorry, we had to cut back, can't see him any more. How about Peppa Pig?"

    I fucking love Peppa Pig. At least Peppa Pig has some fantastic jokes in it just for the parents. Like the episode with the Wolf kid's birthday party, where the Wolves keep making subtle suggestions towards the sheep kid and her parents. Or the Halloween episode, where one of the kids dresses up as a vampire, the teacher says "That reminds me of the old country," and the Narrator helpfully points out that she isn't casting a reflection in the mirror. See, that's not much, but it's something.

    Like we are now on our second episode of this fuckshitdickless dumbfuck playing around with toy trucks and making squeaky noises.

    I can feel it, Dave. My mind is going.

    OK, I've typed enough, time to see how much whiskey I have left. God.... 

    Reading this made me feel slightly better.  I’ve been losing my god damn mind over this fucking guy for MONTHS.  My kids LOVE him and my love for my kids translates to tolerance I didn’t think I had and while I don’t know where it comes from I can tell you that all this magical tolerance does is inspire thoughts like .. oh I don’t know.. buying a plane ticket and a cab ride, knocking on his stupid door and strangling him with his own fucking suspenders.  At THAT point and ONLY that point would it be acceptable for him to make that fucking dipshit dumb fucking squeaky noise and would mark the first and ONLY time I will ever be happy to hear it.  Months of hearing this fucking queef squeal like the tip of a dick has just breached the rim of his asshole has without a fraction of a damn doubt eroded my mind irreparably.  All that squeal does is incite a dog like instinct to chase and kill.
     

    Sometimes I can power through a few episodes by daydreaming about suddenly seeing my third person self blasting into the camera frame like a fucking superhero (truly) and just ... laying absolute fucking WASTE to his shitty, squeaky, douchebag, garbage body.  Happy thoughts.

     

    I would kill for my kids to love peppa pig this much.  Peppa Pig is a great show.  Blippi .... grumble mumble god dammit son of a bitch GRRRRRRRRRR!!  How is this fucking cunt a millionaire? 
     

    Ok, I’m done ranting.  Maybe I’ll take a tip and get my ass to the liquor store.  Lol

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