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Judge Elihu Smails

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Posts posted by Judge Elihu Smails

  1. Just now, Llogg said:

    TFOH with that boy shit, cumsucker. You made some claims that were demonstrably false and countered with some assumptions. Nice rhetorical work there.

    Who was better, boy?

     

    Can't admit it, can you.

     

     

    I'm gonna call you boy 'cause you deserve it.  Be a man, admit it.  Who was better?  Boy.

    • Fuck You 5
  2. Here's a fun fact.  Kansas St had a better decade in the 90's than my beloved Sooners. 

     

    That's a fact.  It just is what it is.  (even though their OOC scheduling has ALWAYS been a joke, it still doesn't change who was better that decade)

     

    Now, how can I admit that?

     

     

    Well, I'm not an insecure little bitch is my first guess.

     

     

    ^^^^^^I"ll let the smart ones tell the simpler ones what that last sentence means and who it's referencing.  Toodles.

     

     

    • Fuck You 5
  3. 55 minutes ago, Llogg said:

    Yes read more and acknowledge that Aggy's win totals relative to TX in that time frame are inflated by more than double the number of games against non-P5 teams. They played fucking Lamar and Idaho, FFS.

    Then why did the voters rank aggy higher than texas all thru the decade?

    More weeks ranked, higher finishes, etc?

     

    Just admit it, boy.  They've been better this decade.  It is what it is.

    • Fuck You 7
  4. 38 minutes ago, Llogg said:

    Yes read more and acknowledge that Aggy's win totals relative to TX in that time frame are inflated by more than double the number of games against non-P5 teams. They played fucking Lamar and Idaho, FFS.

    So which program has been better since 2010?

     

    That's what I thought.

     

    Just in case, we can go to ANY other CFB message board (your choice) and ask the same question.

    Basically, what I'm saying here (i know your feels are involved) is that ZERO other fanbases would say UT has had a better decade.  Zero.

    (2010-2018)

    Bowl appearances - A&M

    Bowl wins - A&M

    Wins - A&M

    Top 5 final rankings - A&M (schedule is considered by voters)

    Top 10 final rankings - tie (schedule is considered by voters)

    Top 25 final rankings - A&M (schedule is considered by voters)

    Most players drafted - A&M 

     

     

     

    Take your medicine, boys.

     

     

     

    ZERO.

    • Fuck You 9
  5. 2 hours ago, BigHorn'13 said:

    Why do they always put a timeframe on this shit? I mean, I know why. It serves the point you're making, but it's obviously so trivial. 

    Anyways enjoy your trip to Bolivia. Heard it's nice this time of year. 

    I didn't suggest the time frame.  Perhaps read more?

    • Fuck You 9
  6. 1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:


    Go back and add up the victories against P5 teams and then report that fact jack.

    Do you really want me to do that?

     

    I don't know the answer, but I'm doing the probability in my head and uh, well it's still gonna be the same order as before.

    • Fuck You 7
  7. 1 minute ago, Neonmoon said:

    I love goalpost movers, subtle yet so good 

    To make that boast:  "we have one and you have technically zero," sounds about as aggy as you can get.

     

    The Cotton back then was considered a top 6 bowl, just like it is now.  

     

    That wasn't the original topic either, but you knew that.

    • Fuck You 9
  8. 6 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

    Thanks for the correction. An OU fan defending aTm. That is...probably something that should be sterilized. 

     

    I know it must seem like defending

    Not defending...just math

     

    FTR, I would hate A&M if they were more relevant, but they're not.  They're just...well, I don't even know what one would equate with an aggy.

    • Fuck You 7
  9. 3 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

    Dumbass, the Cotton was not a NY6 bowl the year A&M won it

    Fair point...I was aware of that.  You're the one that put "since 2010"  NY6 bowls didn't exist in 2010.

     

    Both teams have won one bowl that is now a NY6 bowl.

    • Fuck You 14
  10. 1 minute ago, SydneyCarton said:

    Its the worst stretch in program history, you dense waterheaded dipshit. That’s the point. Our worst stretch in program history. And you guys are still mediocre hot garbage. You can’t even win or recruit at an elite level when we’re busy stepping on our dicks. Congrats on illuminating just how worthless your program is, into perpetuity. Please, sing the song of your people and all their championships, Bowl games, takes of General glory including sex with Homo sapiens since 2010. Or ever.    

    I realize that...and that's why it was puzzling that someone posted:

    Quote

    Amazing that during our decade of futility, aggy still couldn't surpass us.

    and yet, they did

     

    Just pointing that out...again, sincerest apologies for the math.

    • Fuck You 8
  11. 1 minute ago, Tex Pete said:

    Your school is historically irrelevant. Fact. 

    I agree aggy is historically irrelevant.

     

    I didn't post aggy's win total because I'm an A&M fan. 

     

    I posted the win total because it's the factual truth...and seemed to refute claims made in the post that I quoted.

     

    Again, sincere apologies for interjecting facts.

    • Fuck You 14
  12. 9 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

    Hell, why not go back to the early 90's and talk about Christian Peter there Jimmy Breslin.  It wasn't the same as 2014, it was a different time.  If that shit happened today, he's dismissed from the team.

     

    It's the worst domestic abuse type crime for a player that wasn't kicked off the team in the last 30 years.  Period.  Brubaker Osborne has that honor.

  13. 13 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

    375dvg.gif

     

    I'm pretty sure a Bugeater fan shouldn't even broach this subject...at all.

     

    Star RB finds out his chick was banging another player and broke in to his teammate's apartment...

    literally dragged the girl by her hair down 3 flights of stairs,

    then smashed her face into a mailbox.  (<<<^^^that's worded exactly like that in the police report)

    When he was released from jail, Osborne suspended him for 6 games.

     

    The other player that was banging the chick and then casually watched Phillips put her in the hospital? 

     

    Current Nebraska Head Coach Scott Frost.

     

     

     

     

  14. 12 minutes ago, LTtxfan said:

    Legit question to Surly...

    Not just this post , but also several complaints in the past on Surly about blOU holding all the time.  What's the real story on tactics used by the blOU O-Line... have other teams in the B12 complained about blOU holding?

    We've perfected holding in Norman...and we do get away with a ton of holds.  

     

    I think it's human nature to notice when your team is being held, and conversely, to not notice as much when your team pulls jerseys on the edge.

     

    As far as Texas faring with the refs, I think they do ok...Last year, Texas led all Big XII teams with 'opponent penalty yardage' of 67.6 yds per game.

    ;

  15. 41 minutes ago, A’Dam Psycho said:

    Honestly I don’t understand why the media pundits are completely ignoring OUs losses on offense. I haven’t heard anything about it all offseason. Losing 4 OL is a big fuckin deal regardless of who it is. Then you lose your two best WRs and Heisman QB. Your defense is already shit and won’t make a significant jump for atleast a couple more recruiting classes. I honestly don’t think it’s unfathomable for them to drop two in conference play this year.

    Que?

  16. 1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

    It is my belief that OU will ... take a step back (what else were you expecting me to type?) in 2019. We're so used to seeing them defy losses and hold alpha position in the league that that may sound absurd, but it's not as farfetched as it sounds.

    ”But closetojumping, their offense has transmogrified into a fuckdragon unleashed from the depths of hell?!!? I’m so scared, hold me, bro!”

    OU lost 4 stand-out OL starters from last year’s team. Replacing the 4 OL stars is not something that can just be poo-poo'd away. They have a stud OL coach, so it won't be the end of the world, and Humphrey is, while overrated, still excellent at a key spot in C. So I don't think the OL will suck, but it won't be anything close to elite. Several of the projected starters are guys that Texas and numerous other programs actually passed on. They no longer have Vomit Schmidt gearing them up for play. No sir, enter a one Benny The Body Wiley and his irrelevant training tactics for OL.We'll see those effects in full regalia in Year 3 of his reign.

    At QB, Hurts does not enable the utilization of the full offensive playbook. He’s not going to be the savior of their program that Kyler Murray turned out to be. They were frustrated by Hurts’ limitations in the spring. He's not an above average passer. He's good on his feet, but he's not elite. They can weave him into the running game, but there's significant risk in doing so, and they have a stable of good backs. His running utility will be limited to mostly off-schedule runs behind a disorganized OL. Should OU lose Hurts in a tragic scenario where one of his teammates drunkenly beats him into a coma, cuts his neck open with a screwdriver, or breaks his jaw thinking he's a woman, and he goes down for a month or more, Tanner Mordecai is the replacement and he’s as prepared as okie high school students are for future life success. Spencer Rattler could ultimately be the man, but he’d have to lay off fucking janitors in his high school bathroom first, and put down the weed second.

    They have elite WRs and Calcaterra is terrific, but no one can plausibly argue that losing Hollywood Brown won't slow them down at least some. Charleston Rambo is basically serviceable. I’m interested to see how quickly Wease, Bridges or Haselwood can make an impact. This is an elite team strength even with the loss of Brown.

    At TB, Brooks, Sermon and Pledger are all good to great, but they’re not elite, gamechanging players. They won’t have the Mack Truck-sized holes to run through this season, either. TB is a team strength, but it’s not a differentiator that they can rely on to take over games.

    Riley is an offensive wizard, so I agree, they won't fall too far. I see them in the #15-20 range if Hurts is terrific and #30 if he sucks. 

    “Now come on, CTJ, Alex Grinch is an acclaimed defensive guru! You know the OU defense is going to wake up and play like it’s 2001 this season!”

    Defensively, Grinch thinks they have a bunch of pussies and dead weight on the roster. His own players don't like him. He's unproven as a DC. Yeah, he had a decent year at Wazzou during a down cycle for the Pac 12. He's pretty much living off of that. 

    They're hurt on defense by the fact that their practices are geared towards offense and the focus on technique is traded off for repetition of assignment. Doesn't work that way for defenses against game day offenses. This phenomenon hurt(s) Oregon, Wazzou, Tech, Baylor, etc. OU under Riley is no different. 

    The DL is meh. Perkins can straight up play, if he's healthy. Gallimore is an overrated pile of shit. He has to be carried or carted off the field at least once per game, sometimes 2-3 times, only to return later to play the hero role. I cannot remember him actually making a single play. But hey, he's big and experienced, and he plays for the vaunted OU brand, so let's line that pussy up as a preseason All Big 12 guy on the DL. Right. The other starter is a dude named Mann. He’s literally JAM.

    At LB, Murray is fine on the LB side. I know he had like 50 tackles against Army. They count tackles even when the TB stumbles down as he runs over you. Outside of that game, Murray was good but nothing special. He's all they have worth thinking about until Deshaun White shows that he can make a play.

    The secondary is lukewarm scrotum sweat. If Grinch could take the Texas back-up secondary and trade it right now with the starting personnel in OU's secondary, he'd do it faster than Bookie Radley-Hiles could shit himself in panic having to cover Collin Johnson again. Fuck, Grinch is telling recruits that kind of stupid shit as we debate things here. There is not a single player on OU’s roster in the secondary that would make the two deep at Texas.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    As a Sooner fan, I have to agree concerning our defense.  I think you were too generous with LB Murray...he's not fine. 

    Watch the Big XII title game again and just focus on him.  It's embarrassing...I don't know how you fix that.  It's really hard to watch.

     

    I don't think our secondary is as bad as lukewarm scrotum sweat.  Don't get me wrong; they're bad, but our front 7 didn't do them any favors.  I think Tre' Brown would be a decent player on a real defense.  He sure enjoyed the Big XII title game.

     

    I thought OU's offense would take a big step back last year...If you would have told me that the Sooners lose QB Mayfield, TE Mark Andrews, and RB Rodney Anderson and still average the most yards per play (10.4) in the history of CFB, I wouldn't have believed you.  So, I will defer to Riley's prowess even though I really think they HAVE to come down a little this year due to the O-line.  

     

    As far as predictions, I don't think anyone gets through the schedule unscathed...my best bet is a 3 way tie with OU, TX and ISU having 2 losses each.  Something like that,...should be fun.

    • Like 6
  17.  “Does everything you touch turn to shit? Does this happen to you every time?”

    “No wonder they call me Fuckhead.”

    “It’s a name that’s going to stick.”

    “I realize that.”

    “‘Fuckhead’ is gonna ride you to your grave.”

    “I just said so. I agreed with you in advance,” 

  18. 3 hours ago, LTtxfan said:

    Thx @Goodman for this info...

    Another blOU bullshit fact:

    28. For the fifth consecutive year, Oklahoma has no back-to-back conference road games. Six Big 12 schools will play back-to-backs this season, six did last season as well, and eight did in 2017. But not the Sooners, since 2014.

     

     

    It must be working...OU hasn't lost a road game since...... 2014.

     

     

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