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Agent 13

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by Agent 13

  1. 54 minutes ago, Let 'Em Hang said:

    One of my best friends lives in Tuscaloosa...haven't talked to him since the Iron Bowl.......last night I got a collect call at 1:00AM, caller ID on cell said Decatur and "Alabama Prison System".  Sure hope he didn't go Postal......maybe I should have called the number back.......

    Didn't answer call or call him back, eh? User name appropriate and whatnot.

    • Like 8
  2. 22 minutes ago, alincoln said:

    Our discipline statistics bring to mind Freddie Kitchens' Cleveland Browns.  

    A few additional statistics that are of interest.

    Defense (Is this the worst pass D in school history?)

    129th (out of 130) in Total Pass Yards Allowed Per Game

    109th (out of 130) in Total Pass Yards Allowed Per Play

    100th in Yards Allowed Per Play

    107th in Sacks Per Play

    119th in Red Zone %

    Offense

    111th in Sacks Allowed Per Game

    103rd in 4th Down Conversion % 

    Special Teams

    111th in Punt Return Average

    Miscellaneous

    123rd in Penalties Per Game

    125th in Penalty Yards Per Game

    "And somehow despite these eye-popping stats, I've craftily coached this team to a 6-5 record. I'm a certifiable genius"! - Tom Herman, probably.

  3. 6 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

    637 yds of offense for SC. Our defense is a hot steaming pile of shit

    SC does have some dudes at receiver. Also, is that stadium any better after spending all that money?

  4. 15 hours ago, Armybrat said:

    About 25 years ago Mrs. Brat’s cousin had a large German Shepherd. A friend dropped off her little yappy dog to stay for the weekend while she flew to Vegas.

    yappy little dog apparently annoyed big GS too much and became a lunch entree. GS ate the entire yappy dog. Shit the collar a few days later after the friend returned from Vegas.

    So the yappy dog became a little shit dog? Circle complete.

  5. 12 minutes ago, CHAD BRISCOE said:

    Ido'nt know what kine of Egg's they are but they are jucy also are any of you doctor's because I was scratchen at my in-seam and their was lot's of blood on my finger and now their is a black hole on my ballsac

    If there ever was a use for nard oil, you've found it.

    • Like 1
  6. 26 minutes ago, Bevo said:

    Yeah, I got home from college and my brother forgot I was coming home. He was asleep in his room. I got in at about 11:00, watched TV for a little bit and then went to sleep in my room. I use to sleep with the covers over my head. My brother heard my bedroom door open and close, snuck out of the house and then called the police and told them there was an intruder in the house. They even asked him if anyone was expected to be home. Anyway, you can guess the rest. The cops broke into my room, pulled the covers down with their guns drawn, and yelled freeze. Thank god I am a deep sleeper "and that I'm white". 

    Exactly how much fraternal ass did you kick?

    • Like 1
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