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Buffsoldier

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Posts posted by Buffsoldier

  1. 23 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

    I could probably add a couple of pages to this thread just with the texts I will get over the next couple of hours.  They want to take our new boat out and against my better judgement I said ok.  One of the girls has a boat an apparently drives it all the time.

     

    Last time we were both out there my wife wanted to take a video of me getting the boat ready to take out (taking cover off, lowering the lift, turning battery on, raising the tower).  We got 30 seconds in and she says "hold on, I just got a text" and for some reason it couldn't wait.  After she responded, I had to start over.  She then tells me to hold on again and I glance at her phone and it's on Instagram.  I lost it and just walked away before I shoved her in the lake.  It took her 5 minutes to realize I wasn't there anymore.

    I cannot say with any certainty that I would have been able to resist snatching the phone out of her hands and throwing it in the fuckin' lake.

    • Like 1
  2. I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

    • Like 6
  3. My only two complaints about my Mom:

    1. I. AM. NOT. YOUR. GODDAMNED. IT. SERVICE.  I live in Denver, you live in Seattle.  I cannot tell you if you should "push this thingee" or not.

    2. No matter how much you want it to happen, I am not going to reconcile with my aunt (who just died a few weeks ago) or her daughter.  They stole money from me 10 years ago.  If they want to reconcile, then they need to repay the money, plus the interest.  And we both know they'll never do that.  So stop telling me about them in any fashion, and stop dropping hints that I "should get a hold of them".  

    Otherwise, I think my mom is sweet as hell.  I don't mind spending an hour or so on the phone with her every 7-10 days because she probably doesn't talk too much to other people.  And it's fun listening to her giggle at the silly things her granddaughter does.

  4. 2 hours ago, Landomatic said:

    My wife is not familiar with the concept of lights having an off switch.  Ever.  God forbid I throw a bottle or can in the trash and don’t recycle it.  But when it comes to saving on electricity, which will actually save us money...

    That's because it's not her money that's being wasted. It's yours.

    • Like 1
  5. O Holy Night during the holiday season.  Especially when that high note is hit and held.

    The National Anthem.  After 21 years in uniform, it just gets deep into you.

    The thought of my daughter growing up. (she's currently 7)

    Related: The thought of my daughter at her wedding.

    This commercial:

     

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