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hookemATL

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Posts posted by hookemATL

  1. for last years opener I packed a ziploc full of liquid IV and made sure everyone with me hammered them throughout. This was after prehydrating with several nalgenes worth of H2O. It is a must if you are going to be out in that for extended periods (unshaded) and especially if you plan on drinking at all. Personally I eschew booze for weed things to get my rocks off on the whole, but especially for these circumstances.
     

    also a cool towel wrapped around your neck and refreshed frequently is a lifesaver.
    The More You Know Kitty GIF 

  2. 34 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

    This sounds like a healthy household 

    I try not to judge. Just last week my three year old dropped her bowl of snacks, furrowed her brow, and said GOD FUCKING DAMMIT in the exact same rhythm/annunciation that I do. 
     

    Im just glad she hasn’t started calling cops “pigs” or saying out loud that people that don’t put their grocery carts away are “miserable cunts”. 
     

    Not Cool Dad GIF by Old Spice

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  3. 19 hours ago, ALexusTexus7 said:

    TRUMP 2024!!! emoji631.png get mad about it, bitches!

    This is it?  Nothing to add?

    coward, pussy, yankee motherfucker. Just like the flaccid tangerine cocksucker you worship.

    not a man. Not a Texan. Just another chud in the wall. 
    angry will ferrell GIF

     

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  4. Wife just got her Masters from Purdue and good god damn I had forgotten how fucking boring commencements are.
     

    My main wish was that there was some type of snipers nest to pick off any miserable cunt yelling dumb shit after their graduates name is called, to the point that it interrupts/covers up the next persons name being read.  
     

    They did have a Muslim clergy dude (cleric?) do the nondenominational benediction/etc so I enjoyed that there were many pearls clutched by some ignorant xian fuckers who believe that to be an affront of some type. 

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  5. 9 hours ago, Rex Kramer said:

     

    The rapture is an 1800s doctrine dreamed up by American fundamentalists. In my mind it’s not quite as fantastical as Joe Smith’s fantasies, but it’s close. That’s what I meant. 

    Raptures are dinosaurs with sharp teeth and claws, you clod. 

  6. On 5/5/2024 at 3:43 PM, Jerry Callo said:

    I taught both daughters in my suburban.  They can park anything anywhere.

    Parallel parking is the last thing to learn.  With my youngest, I told her to google parallel parking to get an idea before we went to practice.  She nailed it first time and I never had to teach anything.

    I would suggest you google some parking videos. Find one that is simple and uses visual clues (line up side mirror, etc.).  Once you find one that you are comfortable with, sit down and watch it with her.

    My first vehicle was a 1989 Chevy Silverado long bed. It was a fucking yacht. I took that thing to campus freshman year and got real good at popping it in to spots it had no business fitting. 
     

  7. Trying to get fired.

    Then a year off as commentator/watermelon seed spitting competition contestant.

    Then swoop in to take Deboer’s spot after the gumps go full pitchfork mode. 

     

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  8. 1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

    Would I proudly drive that sonofabitch today?

    You bet your fucking ass I would.

    With the windows down, cranking some Jethro Tull.  Maybe some Thin Lizzy.

    Somehow Mexican Wooderson suits you as an alter ego. Rock that shit, brisket. 
    Matthew Mcconaughey GIF

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  9. 39 minutes ago, qwertyu1234 said:

    Christian denomination talk not going away.

    Everyone should follow the tenets of Pre-anti-interconnectednessism, a religion I created while masturbating and  doing really strong salvia mixed with weed.

    1.  Don’t be such a cunt all the time

    2. Be nice to animals and children

    3. Put your cart away at the grocery store

    mortal sins include putting beans in chili, saying anything critical of Willie Nelson, and using Oxford commas  

     

     

    oh fuck  

     

     


     

     

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  10. 1 hour ago, aggie08 said:

    I'll never understand people's desire to lie so casually and so consistently about such trivial things on an anonymous internet message board.

    It’s the mental illness, you see. 
     

    not really. He’s just another in the cacophony of cunts that actively work to make this website worse.  Changing usernames back and forth is just the last  card that is played before the cycle is repeated (see derka, tobacco animal douche, etc.)  It would be amusing if it wasn’t so pathetic  

    David Byrne Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

     

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  11. 43 minutes ago, Red Five said:

    Random, but does anyone actually read the commit threads? It's the same pictures and memes posted over and over. Sometimes I forget, looking for actual discussion/information about the player. Nope. 

    Please leave your comment in the suggestion box and management will get to it in turn. Thank you for your contributions to the surly community. 
     

    Sincerely,

    Mgmt

  12. Instead of fog machine for the intro, they can just blast crystalline silica dust in honor of all the dead/dying/destroyed lungs of coal miners.  
     

    “Take me hommmmmeeee, country **hack cough hack spit hack cough hack** roadssssssss”

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