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hookemATL

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  1. I try not to judge. Just last week my three year old dropped her bowl of snacks, furrowed her brow, and said GOD FUCKING DAMMIT in the exact same rhythm/annunciation that I do. Im just glad she hasn’t started calling cops “pigs” or saying out loud that people that don’t put their grocery carts away are “miserable cunts”.
  2. This is it? Nothing to add? coward, pussy, yankee motherfucker. Just like the flaccid tangerine cocksucker you worship. not a man. Not a Texan. Just another chud in the wall.
  3. Wife just got her Masters from Purdue and good god damn I had forgotten how fucking boring commencements are. My main wish was that there was some type of snipers nest to pick off any miserable cunt yelling dumb shit after their graduates name is called, to the point that it interrupts/covers up the next persons name being read. They did have a Muslim clergy dude (cleric?) do the nondenominational benediction/etc so I enjoyed that there were many pearls clutched by some ignorant xian fuckers who believe that to be an affront of some type.
  4. When The Revee Blakes fuckin slaps.
  5. If you watch this under the right circumstances you will die from laughing. RIP Farley.
  6. Raptures are dinosaurs with sharp teeth and claws, you clod.
  7. My first vehicle was a 1989 Chevy Silverado long bed. It was a fucking yacht. I took that thing to campus freshman year and got real good at popping it in to spots it had no business fitting.
  8. Trying to get fired. Then a year off as commentator/watermelon seed spitting competition contestant. Then swoop in to take Deboer’s spot after the gumps go full pitchfork mode.
  9. Somehow Mexican Wooderson suits you as an alter ego. Rock that shit, brisket.
  10. Everyone should follow the tenets of Pre-anti-interconnectednessism, a religion I created while masturbating and doing really strong salvia mixed with weed. 1. Don’t be such a cunt all the time 2. Be nice to animals and children 3. Put your cart away at the grocery store mortal sins include putting beans in chili, saying anything critical of Willie Nelson, and using Oxford commas oh fuck
  11. Shiner and Stella are more qualified to govern than this deranged fuckface. I hope she gets the Ramsey Bolton treatment.
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