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Felix

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by Felix

  1. 23 hours ago, Rimbo said:

    In the beginning, there was Eohippus. The proto-horse. It was a small hooved animal about the size of a dog, and it ate grass. It was a simple creature, and in my (factual) opinion it represents the last time that the Horse lineage was untainted by sin. Now, it is worth noting that life was not easy for this proto-horse, in fact life for early hooved mammals was so difficult, that some of them said "fuck that" and moonwalked back into the ocean to become cetaceans (Whales and Dolphins). That's right, The proto-horse had so stupid an existence, that hooved mammals went back into the ocean (lacking gills and flippers) and had more success than horses would have on land. 

    Okay, So why was life so hard for Eohippus? Well, they are herbivores eating almost exclusively grasses. Grasses, as you may know, are not particularly nutritious. But more importantly, grasses are smarter than Horses. See, Grass does not want to be eaten, and evolutionary pressure caused the grasses to start incorporating silica (ie sand) into their structure. Silica is extremely hard. Hard enough to wear down Horse teeth. Now there is another evolutionary pressure acting on Eohippus; It's teeth wear down by the mere act of eating, to the point that it will starve to death. Eohippus teeth do not regrow, instead, Eohippus evolved bigger teeth. However, bigger teeth mean a bigger jaw, bigger head, and a bigger body to carry it. 

    These opposing evolutionary pressures started an arms race in which the grasses incorporated more and more silica, and Horses got bigger and bigger, just so they would have big enough teeth to grow and reproduce before finally starving to death. And eventually our cute dog-sized pony evolved into the 1,500-pound, dumb-as-rocks prey animal i loathe today. 

    But wait, there's more! See, Horses are extremely fragile. There is a reason why a "horse doctor" typically prescribes a dose of double-0 buckshot in the event of a leg injury. A horse is very heavy, and it has very thin legs to carry that weight. If any one leg gets fractured, it is exceptionally unlikely that it will heal well enough for the Horse to walk again, and is extremely likely to break again just carrying the weight of the horse. Remember, a human thigh bone is gigantic relative to the size of our bodies, a horse leg bone is absolutely minuscule relative to the weight it carries. 

    Also, Hooves: I want you to imagine that instead of feet, you have a giant toenail at the end of your leg. That is how the Horse do. That is what a hoof is. A giant toenail. It is extremely delicate, and joined to the leg by a vast network of very fine connective tissue, and oh yeah it also bears the weight of a fucking HORSE. If a hoof gets infected (which is quite common, because imagine how often shit would get stuck under your toenails if you walked on them), the Horse immune system responds in the typical way: via inflammation of the area. The problem is, a horse hoof is a rigid "cup". It cannot accomodate the swelling from inflammatory response. The Horse hoof will basically pop off the leg like a sock. On top of that, remember the Horse is putting 1,500 pounds of weight on it (because Horses can't redistribute their weight very well since all of their legs can BARELY support their share of the total weight). 

    So, Horse apologists will claim that Horses are good at one thing: Turning Grass into Fast. As the previous two paragraphs show, they can't even do that right. Locomotion is very dangerous for a Horse, and if the Fast doesn't kill them they'll starve to death just by eating. 

    On top of that, they are dumb as all fuck. Horses will often do something called "Cribbing", which is when they decide to bite down on something (literally anything) as hard as they can, and suck in air. They just keep sucking in air until they inflate like a balloon. Eventually, the vet will show up and literally deflate the Horse with a long needle to let the air out of them, and hopefully get them to just... stop... 

    First off, horses are obligate nasal breathers. If our noses are stuffed up we can breathe through our mouths. If our pets' noses are stuffed up (except for rabbits, who are also really fragile but unlike horses aren't stuck having only one baby a year) they can breathe through their mouths. If a horse can't breathe through its nose, it will suffocate and die. 

    Horse eyes are exquisitely sensitive to steroids. Most animal eyes are, except for cows because cows are tanks, but horses are extremely sensitive. Corneal ulcers won't heal. They'll probably get worse. They might rupture and cause eyeball fluid to leak out. 

    If you overexert a horse they can get exertional rhabodmyolysis. Basically you overwork their muscles and they break down and die and release their contents. Super painful, and then you get scarifying and necrosis. But that's not the problem. See, when muscles die hey release myoglobin, which goes into the blood and is filtered by the kidneys. If you dump a bucket of myoglobin into the blood then it shreds the kidneys, causing acutel renal failure. This kills the horse. People and other animals can get that too but in school we only talked about it in context of the horse. 

    Horses can only have one foal at a time. Their uterus simply can't support two foals. If a pregnant horse has twins you have to abort one or they'll both die and possibly kill the mother with them. A lot of this has to do with the way horse placentas work. 

    If a horse rears up on its hind legs it can fall over, hit the back of its head, and get a traumatic brain injury. 

    Now to their digestive system. Oh boy. First of all, they can't vomit. There's an incredibly tight sphincter in between the stomach and esophagus that simply won't open up. If a horse is vomiting it's literally about to die. In many cases their stomach will rupture before they vomit. When treating colic you need to reflux the horse, which means shoving a tube into their stomach and pumping out any material to decompress the stomach and proximal GI tract. Their small intestines are 70+ feet long (which is expected for a big herbivore) and can get strangulated, which is fatal without surgery. 

    Let's go to the large intestine. Horses are hindgut fermenters, not ruminants. I'll spare you the diagram and extended anatomy lesson but here's what you need to know: Their cecum is large enough to shove a person into, and the path of digesta doubles back on itself. The large intestine is very long, has segments of various diameters, multiple flexures, and doubles back on itself several times. It's not anchored to the body wall with mesentery like it is in many other animals. The spleen can get trapped. Parts of the colon can get filled with gas or digested food and/or get displaced. Parts of the large intestine can twist on themselves, causing torsions or volvulus. These conditions can range from mildly painful to excruciating. Many require surgery or intense medical therapy for the horse to have any chance of surviving. Any part of the large intestine can fail at any time and potentially kill the horse. A change in feed can cause colic. Giving birth can cause I believe a large colon volvulus I don't know at the moment I'm going into small animal medicine. Infections can cause colic. Lots of things can cause colic and you better hope it's an impaction that can be treated on the farm and not enteritis or a volvulus. 

    And now the legs. Before we start with bones and hooves let's talk about the skin. The skin on horse legs, particularly their lower legs, is under a lot of tension and has basically no subcutaneous tissue. If a horse lacerated its legs and has a dangling flap of skin that's a fucking nightmare. That skin is incredibly difficult to successfully suture back together because it's under so much tension. There's basically no subcutaneous tissue underneath. You need to use releasing incisions and all sorts of undermining techniques to even get the skin loose enough to close without tearing itself apart afterwards. Also horses like to get this thing called proud flesh where scar tissue just builds up into this giant ugly mass that restricts movement. If a horse severely lacerated a leg it will take months to heal and the prognosis is not great. 

    I hope this information has enlightened you, and that you will join me in hating these stupid goddamn bastard animals.

    (not mine, old Reddit copypasta)

    My Dad could have written this. His loathing of horses from my Mom having a couple is unbounded.  He said they violate his brain/body size ratio.

    • Haha 1
  2. I enjoyed the movie.  Highly fictionalized might be an understatement.  On the actual Operation Postmaster, there were, in fact, no Nazis, no uboats, and no explosions.  It was actually just a well executed cutting out of the freighter and the tugs.  It did demonstrate the effectiveness of the SOE and SSRF in conducting raids to stymie the German war effort.

    It's a lot more fun to see a bunch of Nazis slaughtered though.

  3. The Sometimes islands are just the highest points on a big ass stone ridge that was the right bank of the river before it was dammed.  It might make that area of the lake more navigable but to clear any significant amount of material would involve blasting a shit ton of rock once you got down a little ways. You should look at the topographical map of the lake and you'll see what I mean.

  4. Do people talk to each other any more? How about "Excuse me, your hair is blocking my TV."  Maybe she did that and was ignored but I doubt it.  I see it all the time. Clueless person does something clueless.  Other person fumes and/or acts out.  In my experience most times the person will respond positively to a simple request.

    • Hook 'Em 2
  5. It occurred to me several years ago that if I could time travel, it's not the big events I'd go to see.  The more I've thought about it, the more sad it gets, because what I'd really do is go back to the 80s and eat at all the restaurants I miss.  GM Steakhouse, Green Mesquite before it burnt down and they forgot how to make a chicken fried steak, and many more.  I'd also probably go back about 300 years and fish the bays for reds and trout with no limits.

    • Hook 'Em 3
  6. 2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

    Did this one end right where the book ends? I thought Paul’s sister had been born by the end of the first book. Maybe it’s just a small change.

    You're correct.  That was one of my only issues was the compression of the timeline.  I wanted to see how they'd handle St. Alia of the Knife.  I wish they had kept the longer timeline.  No reason they couldn't have, but creative choices have to be made.  The Chani story line also irritated me, but I still liked the movie.

  7. 3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

    One street in my neighborhood has fake speed limit signs and another someone put in a pair of speed bumps which I do not think are city/county sanctioned.

    This happened years ago in my old neighborhood.  Homeowners Association put them in without a vote or notification and the city made them remove them so we got to pay for them twice.  I no longer live in a place with a HA.

  8. On 2/26/2024 at 11:51 AM, PvilleStang said:

    I can relate.  Smoke the kids in a game, then take a hard right at the end and let them win to avoid hearing them melt down because you beat them again.

    Enjoy it while you can.  When they were little I won all the time, but now, if I manage to win a race I celebrate like it's the 2006 Rose Bowl.

    • Hook 'Em 1
  9. On 2/18/2024 at 11:33 AM, Underdog said:

    NSIAP

     

    I played softball against a guy who had a full prosthetic from damned hear his hip.  I just thought he had a minor limp until his leg fell off after a close play at first base.  First and only time I saw a game delayed while a guy put his leg back on.  Saw him score from second base once on a single.  Dude wasn't a great player but the leg didn't seem to slow him down much.

    • Like 2
  10. 1 hour ago, nnm said:

    Cross-posted from the HS thread because it’s applicable for this reply:

     

    Saw almost this exact thing happen in Korea.  We were road marching through a small town and down a steep, winding street to a river bypass (couldn't use the bridge due to weight limit) and my buddy was driving 50 meters or so in front of me. Transmission, which functions as the brakes on a tank, got too hot and decided it didn't want to engage, so he slewed around a curve on this narrow village street and rolled right over a Hyundai parked on the side of the road.  Only got it with the right track but didn't slow him down at all.  Eventually he was able to turn on a side street going back up the hill to stop.  That guy got a new car on Uncle Sam.  Luckily he wasn't in it.

    Talking about lunatic drivers.  We were on your way to a training area and not 2 miles out of the gate at Camp Casey and the road narrowed from 3 lanes to 2.  Company of 14 tanks with support vehicles tooling along at 20 mph with lunatic civilian drivers all trying to get past us before the right lane ended.  Last guy cut it a little too close and got the drivers side of his car into the track.  Track peeled it open like a sardine can and pulled the driver into the sprocket.  Cut him in half before the TC could tell the driver to stop the tank.  Ugly scene.  I didn't see it happen just the aftermath.  Never knew a human body had so much blood before that.  The thing that still sticks in my mind 30 years later is waiting for the police to show up and other Koreans are running over and grabbing loose money from the blood pool and running off.  I guess he had some cash in his pockets.

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
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