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Budkudzu

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  1. debris - Dee-bris I also thought "soup du jour" was some sort of French soup.
  2. Purses? We're talking about fucking purses? I had to check to make sure I hadn't logged in to the Surly cross dressing thread.
  3. Reminds me of Mrs K's recycling efforts
  4. Last night, Mrs. K once again demonstrated her lack understanding of how a thermostat works: She: It's going to be in the 20's tonight. I'm going to turn up the thermostat Me: It's not going to get any colder in the house than any other night because we always have it set at 63 She: But it's going to be in the 20's tonight. I don't want the house to get cold. Gotta pick your battles, boys.
  5. Several years ago, I come home and see that the ex bought Dr. Phil's Diet book Me: "Is he also coming out with a hair restoration book?" She: "Asshole" Another time I came home and she said ,"Oprah said our marriage is in trouble." Me: "I wish you had told me she was coming over. I'd like to have met her" She: "Asshole"
  6. We went to the local Home Show yesterday so she could get some more ideas on how to spend money. She went to a booth selling walk-in tubs. She asked the salesperson: How does this work? Do you get in, close the door and fill it up Me: I guess you could fill it up and then open the door, but that would be a little messy She: Asshole
  7. I like to go to IHOP and order in German. After all, it is the International House of Pancakes.
  8. my dog thinks cat turds are doggy treats
  9. Back on track, Hulla. I take Lipitor every day to keep my cholesterol down. It's a lot easier to take a pill than watch your diet and exercise. The other day I threw away an empty Lipitor bottle. Mrs. B reached into the trash can pulled out the bottle and and said "you need to remove the label or else somebody could go through the trash and refill it in your name." Me: "Yeah they can get a lot on the black market for Lipitor." Mrs. B: tone
  10. Try this: He: What's the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job? She: I don't know He: What are you doing for lunch?
  11. She will remind you constantly that your are nowhere near perfect and then proceeds with listing your greatest fuck-ups. Over and over.
  12. I came home to kids and a slurring paranoid bitch still in her PJs, draining her daily Black Box of merlot. Every evening was a fresh new hell. She still got half my shit when we split.
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