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Deamerxt

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  1. Trying to work your way around some fucking asshole for 20 minutes, then when you're just about to get around them they shove in front of you. Sometimes they turn off, as if their job of wasting your time has now ended. Fuck 'em either way.
  2. Is there a fucking psoriasis epidemic I don't know about in this country? Cause there aren't enough ads for this shit already, I just saw another new one. I dunno wtf for, as soon as I realized, I muted that shit and went for more coffee.
  3. Water in my ear. Makin me surly AF this morning.
  4. I wanted to mention the "hood ornament duet" and how it's probably the stupidest fucking thing I've seen in years, but y'all seem to have noticed already. I guess instead I'll mention the perpetually irritating spectrum lady and her fake-ass talk show, which likely doesn't apply to any of you.
  5. Goddammit, it's a box of shit. These fucking assholes are having a conversation with a box of shit. An anthropomorphic box of shit walked up to them, and just randomly struck up a conversation, and they're just fine with that. "Hi! I'm an anthropomorphic talking box of shit, and I'd like to have a conversation about your health." "Tell me more!" Fuck you.
  6. Seeing a picture of your ex-wife almost 20 years later, realizing you aged well without getting fat, and she didn't didn't manage to do either one.
  7. As near as I can tell, and according to Schrödinger's equation, there's a period of time where it's both butt sweat AND poop juice.
  8. kay fucking jewelers can eat a bucket of shit sandwiches
  9. I don't know what rock these pandora jewelry fucks crawled out from under to piss me off this year, but they all need to die in a fire.
  10. The Keeps kid in the green hat should save his money and get that fucked up nose fixed before he worries about whether or not he's going bald.
  11. So I should blame the collective consciousness and my part within it? Maybe. In that particular case it was alec baldwins fake spanish wife. I had to tell it to shut up for 5 or 6 days on that one. I never clicked a link. I don't care. It was the fact it seemed to think I should care for some reason. That's what really annoyed the piss out of me there.
  12. Google and it's fucking news feed, and the way it always says "Got it! No more about "x"! Its a lie. Tomorrow it will try to tell me about "x" again. Maybe it'll only be an hour. Probably more like 5 minutes.
  13. That stupid fucking grubhub music is really getting on my last goddamn nerve.
  14. A touchscreen that behaves as if you're not "pushing the button hard enough".
  15. When I was a kid there was a show called "wildest police chases". Hosted by some retired sheriff, who was no doubt an asshole. I even remember his voice just sounded like an asshole, but I digress. Occasionally they would show a guy on a motorcycle making a run for it. As I recall, it never ended well for the guy on the motorcycle. In my fantasy, it's one of those stupid motaurs. It flies by doing about 130 mph erratically as shit, crashes into a semi hauling gasoline, and bursts into flames. This isn't gonna end well for the motaur.
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