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Round Rock Horn

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  1. Question for you guys. My brother is currently in his 3rd rehab. He called to tell me that he has finished his step work and ready to go to sober living. When he told me that I was expecting him to apologize to me for getting a DWI and wrecking one of my companies trucks then trying to pass himself off to the other drivers as me. I got nothing. He also told me that he is ready to leave so he can get to AA and work the steps. My brother then told me all he is doing in rehab is mentoring new patients. Maybe my understanding of the 9th and 12th steps are wrong. I thought that before you finish your step work that you have talked with and at least apologized to the people you have wronged while drinking. Also isn’t the mentoring in rehab him working the 12step? Thanks for helping me wade thru his bullshit. The rehabs reports are not as rosy as his self reports and they are recommending another month in treatment before sober living.
  2. I’m the trustee of her estate. My next step is to cut her off from the trusts my dad and grand father set up for her. My qualifier is not the alcoholic but the enabler. I keep thinking that I can help her but I’m finding just like the alcoholic she has to want to help herself. The saddest part is she already watched my dad kill himself with alcohol. He spent the last 4 weeks of his life in the ICU bleeding out. Thanks for the support. Even thought I know I’m doing the right thing it’s nice to have re-enforcement.
  3. I’ve posted a few times over the last few years. I’m an Al-Anon and this week I got to truly feel and see the power of the third step. Last week my brother who is out on bail for an assault and then 3 months later his 3rd DWI missed one of his court dates and had a warrant issued. My mother who is the ultimate enabler went behind my back and helped him out again. This time instead of blowing a gasket I called her therapist and set up a meeting for the 3 of us. After rehashing the last few years of him blowing his inheritance, “borrowing” way too much money and all the legal problems and divorce shes paid for Mom decided it was time to finally disassociate with love. She while sobbing and crying sent him a text telling him that she loved him but he can’t stay at her house and she could not give him anymore money. As we were leaving the therapists office she was an absolute mess and just wanted to go home. About halfway home she looked at me and said the traffic is bad and we should stop an have an early dinner. So we pull into a restaurant that I’ve gone to since I was in a kid. When we get there at about 4:30 the place was empty. Also about the time we get there my brother responds to her text “I’m trying to get sober and now I’m homeless”? She lost it in the restaurant. As she was crying a woman who was at my parents wedding and also my best friends mom walked into the restaurant to return some catering dishes and saw us. Came over to say hi and asked as nicely as she could if we were alright. I said it had been a bad and gave a quick overview of the day. The friend is also an Al-Anon. She reassured Mom that she was doing the right thing and that if she had things to do over she would have done what my mom just did. She and her husband lost their 45 y/o daughter to alcoholism. A few minutes later my YMCA basketball coaches wife walks in. She is also an Al-anon and tells the story of losing her youngest to drugs. Finally about 10 minuets later my 4th grade teacher and her husband comes in to have dinner. See all of us and says hi. Come to find out there youngest who I went to HS with has lived on the streets for 3 years and they are also Al-Anons. Everyone at the table assures my Mom she’s doing the right thing. I truly believe a higher power wanted us at that restaurant at that exact moment in time. Yesterday I get a call from a sober house in SA telling me I am my brother emergency contact and that after a few days of living on the street my he checked himself in to get help. I guess it’s a start. For those of you who commented on my last post a few weeks ago. Thanks those words helped and my brother did not come to my house for Christmas.
  4. Why is the responsible person always looked at as the asshole? My brother has been an active alcoholic all of his adult life. He is currently going thru a nasty divorce, felony assault charge looming over him and not worked in 10 years. Earlier this year as the assault charge was coming down he asked my Mother if she would help him get into rehab. After he completed rehab and IOP I was asked if he could use one of my company's non branded Tahoe's while he was getting back on his feet. My wife and I discussed it and decided that if he followed certain conditions he could borrow the truck. First, He would have to pay his own insurance. Second, no drinking. Third, be working the steps. Forth, be actively looking for a job. Fifth, if he did not comply with these conditions he would lose the truck and a relationship with us. Everything was going great until the weekend before Halloween. He was in an accident and hit 2 parked cars in Chuy's Round Rock parking lot. The evening of the accident I get a call from my Mom that (his words) he blacked out and was in Willco jail and we could come pick him up now. Things did not add up so I called a friend who has access to Willco booking computer and get the charge: DWI 3rd. Come to find out from my insurance company that before the cops showed up he tried to pass himself off as me and gave the other drivers an expired USAA insurance card. He had Geico. USAA also told me his BAC .273. He did about $7500 in damage to my car and about $10,000 to each of the other cars as well. The next week in one last attempt to help I went to Dallas to take him back to rehab and he basically shut the door in my face. I told him as i was leaving that until he worked the 9th step I was going to be out of his life. So now we are at Christmas and every year we invite the whole family to our house Christmas night for dinner. My Mom feels that my brother should be included because his son will be at the dinner and he's currently sober. I don't and won't invite him. I have been thru Al-Anon and if I don't detach with love I would just be contributing to his problems. Sorry if this is the wrong thread for this post its just so frustrating when you can look at the user and the enabler and watch things keep getting worse. Thanks for letting me rant.
  5. I knew the guy with sunglasses on his head. He failed out of Texas in the early 90's.
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